[krisakira]

Been thinking about how I've been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I've got other diagnoses, but I guess the bipolar replaces the "severe recurring major depressive disorder" which has been my main dx for many years now. I'm worried if I tell someone I have bipolar, they will think i just have mood swings and that i don't have such severe depression as people with MDD have. Well i do. I have had severe depression,... and hypomania and mixed episode now. I don't know why I even care about what they think. Maybe I want others to know what I've gone through, and how hard it was. Why do i even care though? I need to stop caring about it. People are going to be ignorant anyway. Depression that comes with bp can be very severe and debilitating. i wish bipolar was taken more seriously and not just something people think troubled adolescents and brittany spears gets diagnosed with... society is stupid

sorry was just ranting

[ladyjrnlist]

I agree with you totally. But you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to know about your bipolar, that's the good thing. Of course when I told my mother, she said "I knew it!" LOL.

The depression that comes with Bipolar is just as severe as in MDD. That is for sure. Ya it can be frustrating reading things like, bipolar is just mood swings, ya in a weird distorted alternate universe maybe. Or when a women who had pms - must really have bipolar. And then it switches to , oh your gf has bipolar? Better run fast as you can. Thing is dont pay mind to this crap, because it is maddening. And it just really doesn't matter.

I don't know about anyone else here, but I really hate the term mood disorder, how minamalistic. The hardest symptoms for me to over come are not only mood directed. There is alot more going on with bipolar than mood only. I wish they would come up with a more descriptive term.

[krisakira]

haha... when I told my mom she said "okay..." But I haven't really told anyone else i don't talk to many people anyway, just a couple friends and my boyfriend. so I'm like worried about what people think when i haven't even told them lol

[venusss]

Meh, there are times I wish people understand that I too struggle and just because I can fake it does not mean I am that strong. It is nice to be percieved as.... but I sometimes wish I could get a break now and then....

but at the same time I experienced few people who reacted in OMG!terrible! way as if I told them that I have a week to live... which makes me uncomfortable.

Bipolar is big deal, but at the same it isn't... can be managed and worked around. It sucks, but life in general does. I prefer not to tell, because people do not really understand... and those who "do" are sending me to shrink. Oh, so helpful!

In the end the most important thing is how you feel and how are you living. If life feels painful to you, no amount of understanding will really help. If you are fine.... then you are fine.

[roads]

People certainly treated me differently when my diagnosis went from clinically depressed to bipolar, but of course I doubt that most of them knew what either diagnosis really meant. Suddenly, though, I was scarier. Kids I used to take places weren't available anymore. People I did things with became unusually busy. In essence, I don't see probably 60% of the people I used to see.

And at work, when I asked casually, "what's bipolar about, do you know?" except for Charlie Sheen & Brittany Spears (who were laughed at but declared unsafe for children), several murderers, kidnapper/murderers, & rapist/murders were mentioned. These were my coworkers--librarians, college profs & administrators.

I decided to tell no one there that I had this complication ...

[estimated prophet]

i told two people at work because i thought it would help if they understood why i was a p*ss ant. Well that was a year ago and oddly enough they were just giving me ***** about my attitude today. Haha. I will never tell anyone i am not extremely close to again. Rather them just deal with my ***** because no one ultimately cares. I'll juts be a miserble jerk to everyone.

[faerie_moon_x]

I agree with Anika, the term "mood disorder" is completely misleading and technically incorrect, considering that bipolar is a physical illness of the biochemistry of the brain, and so is depression, thank you very much. Just like diabetes is a physical illness of the biochemistry of the digestive system....

The thing is that many, many, many people do no believe in any mental illness at all. They consider them "fake" illnesses. Or cosmetic illnesses. Or "the illness of the hour." Once a comedian said, "I'm happy today, but yesterday I was sad. I must have bipolar." >.> And the whole "all mentally ill people are a danger to society." That doesn't help, either. There is a lot of stigma. People give the, "just suck it up and get over it," response.

I don't tell people any more. I've never told my dad or my other blood relatives. My husband knows, my friend knows, and my mother-in-law knows. Also I had to tell HR because I was making tons of errors due to rapid cycling, and I tried to get some accomidations on my own. Haha... that's a joke. So now whatever happens where they write me up for something I did wrong which was a clear result of my illness, I take it to my GP and put it in my medicle file. (I can't keep records on my own, so this is close enough....)

But even though my husband knows he doesn't get it. Like last night we were driving through a parking lot. I kept passing spaces because I thought they were turned the wrong way to pull in. He said, "That's because you don't pay attention. Why can't you just pay attention. Something is wrong with you." DUH! Hello, McFly! That's the first time he's actually said "something is wrong with you." Blows my mind....