[nikkie2002]

Hi everyone and I want to thank any one who takes the time to read this and helps me with there advice. I am 28 and have had problems with mental health since I was a teenager. And it just seems to be getting worse. I don't know what is wrong with me and have been diagnosed by so many doctor with so many different disorders. None of them seem to agree with exacly what it is. I know that something isn't right but that is about all. My moods are crazy that is for sure but not to the point that I would think mania would do. I usually can't make plans ahead of time because I never know what kind of mood I will be in. When I am depressed I hate myself feel fat, ugly, guilty, worthless, tired,ect. I usually seek help when I feel this way. I have been diagnosed with NOS eating disorder and body dismorphic disorder. But then my mood changes out of nowhere I feel better about myself and function pretty well. I don't worry about my weight when I feel this way. then there are times that I am so full of anger and rage. I have no clue what causes it but it is extreme and I hate it. I can hide it and fight it for a while until it feels that I have no control and I explode over the smallest things. It feels like my skin is crawling I wake up to racing thoughts, music and thoughts of hurting people all at one time. I try to shut it off but I can't. Then there are times I get very paranoid, My mind will make me feel like strangers I see are following me, like god is sending me signs about something in my lifethrough commercials, I since total strangers can read my mind. i know to a degree that it is my mind doing this but I take precaution just incase. I was hopitalized a few months ago due to the depression and I was put on a mood stabilizer and had a bad reaction to it and stopped taking it. Then they put me on lexapro and it caused me to have mania. To the point where my family had to call the police. I spent so much money the bank fraud department cut off my debit card to make sure it wasn't stolen. I felt great like i could do anything then it tured into rage. I couln't sleep maybe 2 to 4 hours at night but didn't need it. I talked to my doc and she thinks that the lexapro is what caused this but doesn't think that I am bipolar. I just wanted to get other peoples advice. I definatly struggle with my moods and have for years, but usually I don't feel as happy when my moods are changing. What is wrong with me? I have also had doctors tell me that it is anxietyand depression and one said mood disorer NOS. I am so confused and Know somthing is not normal. I just want to know if any of you have these type of feelings thankyou so much once again!!

[grandmaof3]

There are lots of mood stabilizers out there. Maybe you can try a different one. I have similar experiences and I am bipolar.I take Gedon, Paxil and Wellbutrin and Ativan, these help a great deal.. I couldn't function witout the meds. Hang in there; it does get btter.

[AniManiac]

Hi nikkie - welcome to PC! I hope you will find it as supportive and helpful as I have.

First off, (I am not a doctor!) your symptoms do sound a lot like bipolar to me, but if it's been triggered by medications, that is potentially a different issue (but not necessarily - confusing, right?) Part of what you would probably need to explore is whether you have had any hypomanic or manic symptoms prior to taking medications, or without having taken medications recently enough for that to be the cause. So it might be worth talking over with your doc why she thinks you're not bipolar, besides the medication issues. You didn't mention if your doc is a GP or a psychiatrist. With this kind of concern, you should definitely be seeing a psychiatrist because they specialize in these things and have more experience with a range of issues.

Second, we're not always lucky enough to find the best meds on the first try, so sometimes it takes a bit of experimenting - and sometimes a lot of patience.

Third, one of the best ways to help yourself is to learn all you can about mood disorders - see what books you might be able to get from your library. Sometimes we are not very good at letting doctors know what the problems are because we don't realize they are problems!

Good luck, and I hope you'll keep posting here.