[Charly1]

I am so lonely. I have Bipolar, have had it for a very, very long time. I am on meds and I know that they are no longer working and I know that I need to go to my doctor. I just need to talk to someone right now. I am going through a really bad time. This has been going on for a little while. Lately it has gotten worse. I cry everyday, I have breakdowns just about everyday, I can not leave my house. I try and leave but I just can't do it. I feel like I am "exposed". I don't know if that makes any sense, but that is the only way that I can explain it. My daughter is away at school (I do talk to her everyday) so it's just me and my husband. He is the only one that knows everything about my illness. My daughter knows some, but not like he does. i depend on him completely but he can't be with me all of the time. I am by myself all day long until he gets home. Then of course he has to go to bed within 4 hours of being home in the evening. I am up very late by myself and then I go to bed only to wake up in the morning/afternoon to just me. Then my husband gets home and we start the process again. I do not communicate with anyone, not family and no friends. i am lonely. This is just a small part of what is going on. I have not had this big of a problem with my bipolar in many, many years.

Thanks for listening.

[Rosie23]

I am sorry you feel so bad. It sounds like you are trying so hard to cope on your own but I think you should contact your doctor.

I don't know how old you are but I have read somewhere that hormonal changes can make BP worse. Not sure if it is valid or not, but it is another reason to see the doctor.

I am sure you will feel better with a medication tweek of some sorts.

and welcome, Charly1!
Sorry you are feeling so badly. When you describe the feeling associated with going out as "exposed", it makes perfect sense to me as a way to describe it because I feel the same way for spells, sometimes long, sometimes shorter.
One idea, if it is ok to suggest? Any chance of trying to get to sleep a bit earlier so that you might get up when your husband does? It would allow you to spend a bit more time with him and lessen the lonliness through increasing that contact time and hopefully start your days out a bit better. Something to consider anyway.
Hope you are able to get in to see your doctor soon.

[~Christina]

Sorry to read your having such a rough time ((( hugs)))

I agree with the others a trip to the doctor is really needed .. bipolar meds tend to wax and wane in how they help our symptons and if you havent had any changes lately that certainly could be the problem .. do you see a Therapist at all ? "most" Bipolar people need meds and talk therapy to learn coping skills .. My Therpaist has helped me soooo much learning how to cope .. Just a few ideas

I sure hope you get to feeling better soon ((( Hugs)))

[BuggsBunny]

Originally Posted by Charly1

I am so lonely. I have Bipolar, have had it for a very, very long time. I am on meds and I know that they are no longer working and I know that I need to go to my doctor.

Oh, Charly, I can feel your loneliness. I lived alone for 5 years after my father passed away. Depression and all. Sometimes I wouldn't leave the house for a week or two at a time. Med refills (pharmacy trip) and doctor appoints were the big events in my life. I did have a few cats that helped alleviate the loneliness, as they liked to snuggle and didn't need to be walked. I would talk to them like they were people and could answer me. Weird but it did help. (Sometimes one would meow back, like she was answering.) Luckily the neighbors couldn't hear me! Perhaps a pet is a possibility? Even a bird. Something that makes noise and can respond to you.

As for your doc, at the very least, you need to call. A med change will help the depression. Sometimes, as time goes on, we can become resistant to the meds we have been on for a while, and a change needs to be made. (My T just explained this to me today.) You may be at that point, or you may just need a raise in one of your drugs. The thing is, only your doc can tell you that. So take a deep breath, bite the bullet, and call.