[hartbroken]

I was having manic highs and low lows the night mom and dad took me to the hospital. You all know what that can be like. I wasn't on any meds, this was the first time I was about to get diagnosed with anything other than OCD. While I was at the hospital, they run a series of blood tests, and I didn't really need to see the doctor, because everyone could tell I was delusional and that I was showing signs of bipolar I. About 2-1/2 weeks into the treatment I got aggressive. It's hard for me to share here. But they threatened to break my arm and shot me with a tranquilizer. I remember being in a straightjacket when I woke up. I was crying for what seemed like hours while the delusion of people I knew were passing me by. My new psychiatrist gave me a diagnosis of bipolar schizoaffective. I was facing felony charges for what I couldn't have helped. They took me to another hospital for the mentally ill. I heard later I had the best psychiatrist in the state on my side. Within a few days I was back to myself.

I'm thankful the judge favored my situation, and I would be on probation for 7 years instead of 10 years and a $50,000 fine.. I was remorseful for what I had done, but I really couldn't help having done it - I was mentally ill, and they hadn't prepared themselves adequately at the first hospital for what could have happened from any of the people in that ward, including me.

I'm thankful for my parents for supporting me, and places like NAMI for providing support groups also.

So that's my experience at the hospital, 4th floor, in 1999.