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#1
Apr 02, 2012, 05:50 PM
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I recently had a huge crash from a fantastic manic high to a serious suicidal depressive episode. About the only thing I didn't do was self injure, which I have been able to avoid for about two years now. I've been out of the hospital for a few days and started back into an intensive outpatient program. I'm depressed and lonely living in a small apartment by myself because my mania involved leaving my wife and family for another woman who eventually left me.
Today a made a conscious choice that I am going to live again. There seems to be hope for rebuilding my marriage and family, although it will be a long slow process. I made out a to do list and actually did the things on it. I've been living like a hermit in my apartment with all the blinds closed, but now I have some of them open to let daylight in. I've been avoiding getting out and taking a walk because I'm living in a city and I hate cities, but today I lit up one of my favorite pipes and took a stroll around the neighborhood on a perfect spring day. It wasn't as good as walking with my dog in my own woods, but at least I was out in the fresh air and sunlight. It won't all be sunlight and roses from here out, but I've made my choice to live. I'm focusing my attention on my wife and family and trying hard to avoid any reminder of the other woman. I'm doing my best to take better care of myself. I'm even taking a hard look and reevaluating what I think about God. This living again will be hard work, but I'm going to have a go at it. Wish me luck. |
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#2
Apr 02, 2012, 11:23 PM
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Welcome to PC! I am glad to hear you have made the decision to live. I think it's a good choice and hope you will be happy with it. You'll find the PC community a supportive and compassionate group, worthy of hanging around with. I think I won't be the only one glad to know you have chosen life. Your topic was so serious, I didn't want to greet you with my silly sense of humor, but now that I've dispensed with the deep topic of life, here is my latest welcoming speech:
Welcome aboard the Psych Central express! We move pretty fast at times, but always make stops for sympathy, understanding, and companionship. We will, at times, come to a complete stop for depression, but we just keep chugging along for those manics. For some reason, they prefer to hop the train while it's running. All Aboard! toot toot 
__________________
 That which does not kill me makes me stronger. |
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#3
Apr 03, 2012, 01:44 AM
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Welcome to PC!!
Starting over and starting to live again. Good decision. I am doing the same. I know it seems so far off, but it is so worth it when you get them back in your life. There is nothing in the world that can replace family and we have learned it the hard way. Now just hold tight and never let go. 
__________________
Crystal  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe become simple.  Bipolar 1 OCD BPD Anxiety with panic disorder Agorophobia viibryd |
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#4
Apr 03, 2012, 05:43 AM
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 and Congratulations on your decision to live!. Good luck with your journey to healing and mending fences. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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