[bipolarmedstudent]

"I don't know where your character ends and your mental illness begins."

[Fresia]

(((((bipolarmedstudent)))))))))

This sounds like something my mom would say. I hope I won't offend by saying this but I have to laugh now when she does this because as intelligent as she is, it is ironic how she knows not and cannot fathom the depths of the intricacies of the illness even after all these years, decades. Our character's are shaped by so many things and are made up of so much more, but are not actually our illnesses let alone contrary to it. I admire your insight, wisdom, and humor that are a tribute to your character, some which has come from your experiences with illness and from many other places and other attributes withing us; one does not stop and the other begin.

If it makes you feel any better... my dad has told me that the meds are making me sick. BOTH my parents have told me I did this to myself. I can totally understand! I'm sorry she tells you this, I really am. Sometimes I think it's the kids who have to have an understanding of the parents. of the ones who are supposed to be there for us. Just know that is the defense mechanism parents will use. It really doesn't show their real feelings for us.

[BuggsBunny]

If it helps any, I was told yesterday it's this website that's making me depressed! My joining the website happened to coincide with the start of my annual winter depression. So now it's PC's fault that I had a bad winter depression this year.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by bipolarmedstudent

"I don't know where your character ends and your mental illness begins."

And what I would have said was, "Gee, thanks, Mom for making me feel SO much better about myself".....GRRRRRRRRR!

Sometimes I'm actually grateful both my parents have been gone for years. They were so into "what'll the neighbors think?"; the fact that I have a mental illness and am getting help for it would've been such a shame to them, they'd probably have disowned me. Sorry yours are also clueless, medstudent.

[faerie_moon_x]

The truth is, no one really understands unless they have been there. It is impossible to understand, I think. My boss's boss, who is an RN, told me that "Everyone has bad days, you just have to cheer yourself up and get over it." And she's supposed to be a medicle professional!

[Merlin]

I know my mental illnesses (BP2 & PTSD) have shaped my personality, but they are not my personality.

[Trippin2.0]

GOSH! Uhm when I was 15, I realized something was 'off' what with my episodic suicidality and whatnot... I told my mom (coz they ALWAYS tell you growing up, to tell your mom!) she said " don't be so dramatic! there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Everybody has hard days, you just don't know how to handle life very well. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve it's embarassing"... The fact that I remember that verbatim speaks volumes.
.
I know it's not the same, but I do getit bms

[touchingsaturn]

Originally Posted by bipolarmedstudent

"I don't know where your character ends and your mental illness begins."

that totally sounds like something my dad would think, but would be too scared to say to me... i finally accepted he's never gonna get the bipolar thing.. it's just beyond him... he hasn't been around me much (i was raised by my mom, for the most part) & has no understanding of how it affects me... thus any reaction i ever have... to anything... that isn't what he expects... must be because of my bipolar disorder... i know he can't help that he doesn't get it.. but that doesn't make it any less frustrating...

sometimes i even look in on myself and wonder and/or question what parts of my personality are the REAL me... and what parts are just the illness.. or is it all the real me & just exaggerated by the illness... or if there even is a real me... without the illness and its symptoms & manifestations... makes my brain hurt just trying to sort it out for myself... so how can i expect anyone on the outside... who isn't dealing with it themselves... to get it... at all....

took a long time to come to that understanding and acceptance though... to not be angry when the people closest to me just don't get it... truth is, most people are never gonna "get" most mental illnesses, bipolar disorder included... and for most people, it's not really their fault... they literally just do not have the embedded capacity to understand the complexities because they've never experienced them internally... so they have no idea how to process or respond to ... us

the worst part is recognizing that most of them are completely unaware that they inherently lack the capacity to understand.. so they think they understand.. and thus end up saying moronic things to us like.. "just shake it off" - or - "it's not that bad" - or the best - "it's all in your head"

________

at least we have each other

Oh wow!! Mental Illness??? I'm not there yet to say that about myself.

I'm sorry that was said. I do think patents can be in denial or just plain don't understand. I know that must be especially hard considering you are a med student. My family " understands" somewhat. However my father got dx as Bipolar 1 also, he's very disliked in my family and it really didn't help my cause.

But you know, you are not your illness and I am not my father. I hope your mother can come to a better understanding.

Now I've got DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince stuck in my head. Parents just don't understand. TouchingSaturn is right most people just don't understand. It's kind of like we know a little secret tho, and sometimes knowing that I do know helps a bit.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

Oh wow!! Mental Illness??? I'm not there yet to say that about myself.

I know it might seem like a big thing to say about yourself, but sometimes, when it comes up, I would much rather say "I have a mental illness" than "I have bipolar." the main reason for that is because "bipolar" has such a huge response of "fake! fake! everyone says they are bipolar! I'm sad today, happy yesterday, I must have bipolar, too...." and on and on blah blah blah. Sometimes saying "I have a mental illness" kind of makes it sound more serious and realistic to some people (not all) or at least delays the "just suck it up and get over it" you get from a lot of people.

When I was in my teens, and had no idea what was going on, I told my dad I thought something was wrong with me. He gave me that whole "everyone has problems, just deal with it silently, no one wants to hear it." I've never told him about my diagnosis now. I just don't think it is necessary, plus now he's got a lot of heart issues, etc.

My "favorite" one is when I go into a spiral of manic, racing, obsesive and anxiety ridden thoughts for days on end and someone tells me to "take a deep breath and it will pass." Oh really? So easy! Thanks for the tip....

I have had to be honest lately. VERY, VERY honest! That's absolutely HUGE for me. I have always been me. I have always survived. Now... putting words to what happens and actually looking at it for what it is... seeing what is actually happening... it's too much. I can't afford to avoid it, minimize it, and especially believe myself when I try to lie about it! I felt for the first time a few days ago that I was actually sick! Me... sick! Now calling it a mental illness. It makes me want to just give up. I can sit around and "mope" if I let myself. I have had to become excited about housework, re arranging my truck for work to stay interested. I need to feel accomplishments throughout the day so I don't just sit around and "mope". When I do get excited, I go way too far! It's really unfair! But hearing "mental illness"... it feels like the final nail in the coffin. I also have adult ADD. I have been shown pictures of how my brain is physically different. I don't want to be different. Who the hell would pretend to be Bipolar anyways??!! Who would want this??

I'm sorry. I'm getting worked up. Thank you for your encouragement.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

I have had to be honest lately. VERY, VERY honest! That's absolutely HUGE for me. I have always been me. I have always survived. Now... putting words to what happens and actually looking at it for what it is... seeing what is actually happening... it's too much. I can't afford to avoid it, minimize it, and especially believe myself when I try to lie about it! I felt for the first time a few days ago that I was actually sick! Me... sick! Now calling it a mental illness. It makes me want to just give up. I can sit around and "mope" if I let myself. I have had to become excited about housework, re arranging my truck for work to stay interested. I need to feel accomplishments throughout the day so I don't just sit around and "mope". When I do get excited, I go way too far! It's really unfair! But hearing "mental illness"... it feels like the final nail in the coffin. I also have adult ADD. I have been shown pictures of how my brain is physically different. I don't want to be different. Who the hell would pretend to be Bipolar anyways??!! Who would want this??

I'm sorry. I'm getting worked up. Thank you for your encouragement.

Sadly some people do pretend... I don't get it. They usually want attention or think it's "cool" because they don't understand the truth of it.

Remember this: You have bipolar. You are not bipolar. What does that mean? It means you have an illness. You are not made of the illness. I work in a diabetes clinic and we don't like to say "Diabetic." as in "I am diabetic." A person has diabetes.

When you are diagnosed with something like this it is huge. It is stressful and distressful and confusing. But, you have to turn it around on itself. Like you said, now you have to be honest with yourself. Now you have a name for what is going on with you. It isn't some mystery monster lurking in a dark corner. You can cast it into the light. Study it. Learn it. It isn't a nail in a coffin unless you let it sit there in the dark and get you when your back is turned.

I will keep this on my mind. thank you.

[JsterJ]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

My "favorite" one is when I go into a spiral of manic, racing, obsesive and anxiety ridden thoughts for days on end and someone tells me to "take a deep breath and it will pass." Oh really? So easy! Thanks for the tip....

I know exactly what you mean! lol! People are like "It's not so bad, just relax" and you want just want to scream "THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO RIGHT NOW, SO LET ME PROCESS IT!"

[touchingsaturn]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

I know it might seem like a big thing to say about yourself, but sometimes, when it comes up, I would much rather say "I have a mental illness" than "I have bipolar." the main reason for that is because "bipolar" has such a huge response of "fake! fake! everyone says they are bipolar! I'm sad today, happy yesterday, I must have bipolar, too...." and on and on blah blah blah. Sometimes saying "I have a mental illness" kind of makes it sound more serious and realistic to some people (not all) or at least delays the "just suck it up and get over it" you get from a lot of people.

My "favorite" one is when I go into a spiral of manic, racing, obsesive and anxiety ridden thoughts for days on end and someone tells me to "take a deep breath and it will pass." Oh really? So easy! Thanks for the tip....

i'm somewhat cautious about who i tell my actual diagnosis... and i always prepare myself to bite my tongue when i first tell someone i'm bipolar in case they come out with something like, "yeah, i think everyone is a little bit"... so i definitely agree with you that making the blanket statement "i have a mental illness" is generally... well, easier & in that respect safer as well... most people will ask less questions... perhaps because they're scared to... the only ones that will push further to find out more are usually those who care most and who (hopefully) are least likely to belittle our actual diagnosis by saying something completely ignorant...

[touchingsaturn]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Remember this: You have bipolar. You are not bipolar. What does that mean? It means you have an illness. You are not made of the illness...

When you are diagnosed with something like this it is huge. It is stressful and distressful and confusing. But, you have to turn it around on itself. Like you said, now you have to be honest with yourself. Now you have a name for what is going on with you. It isn't some mystery monster lurking in a dark corner. You can cast it into the light. Study it. Learn it. It isn't a nail in a coffin unless you let it sit there in the dark and get you when your back is turned.

@landskaperdan:

it takes a while to adjust to being diagnosed & rearrange how you approach your life & react to things within it... but i agree wholeheartedly, the diagnosis is not all there is of you.. though somedays it might feel like it, it truly is not the end of the goodness in your life.. it need not be the nail in the coffin... just because you have this illness doesn't mean you have to submit to it & give your whole life over to being less than who you want to be... or living a less full life than what you long to live... it takes work, sometimes really hard work... but it's worth it

I will keep this on my mind too. Thank you!

[xraydiva09]

Lol....leave it to mom to say the right thing.....sorry to hear about that Med Student...
I have to say, my parents, for the most part (not always), have tried to understand my illness. Dear old dad always calls to check on me and see how I'm feeling, and my mom, well, according to her, its all those damn pills making me sick lol.....her heart is in the right place, but she is more of a mind over matter kind of girl.....well I happen to mind and it does matter lol.....but if I ever need anything I can come to either of them.....they may not fully understand but they try to....so when I am acting a freakin' fool, she can calm me down.....but then she will tell me later to lay off the pills lol....like I can just lay off of them.....