[Berly0384]

Wow! I have fought this diagnosis for years. What a battle I created. I just didn't want to be "crazy". What a joke! As of 2 wks ago, I was still in the fight, I was still trying to manipulate my meds and play my own dr. As an addict as well, I was addicted to mania. Once I found out I was bipolar I craved the high and I would suffer the lows if it meant that I could be everyone's friend in a manic state. What a horrible way to live I tell you. Stability is the answer and is what I crave now. After coming out of a deep, deep depression...I went manic only to be scared, scared of going too high because I have had a break from reality before (I believed I was going to be assasinated by the government). Therefore, I was in a be careful what you wish for situation. For the first time I was fearful so I called my dr. (something I never have done before). Anyways, she prescribed me a med to come off of mania and I took it as prescribed, what a concept. I have been blessed to be able to see 3 professionals at a time in the past few weeks and all three have told me that I am bipolar and not only bipolar but bipolar I (I wanted to be bipolar II because I believed that was less crazy). In reality, bipolar is not crazy at all and it can be managed if only I make the CHOICE to take my meds and take them correctly so that I can live a stable, happy, and successful life. I have come to that point now, that point of surrender and acceptance and I couldn't be more grateful because now I have a future. Thus, I was wondering if anyone else has arrived at the point I'm at now, if they struggled with acceptance, and how life is now once they've surrendered? All the best, Take care, Berly : )

[BipolarBug]

Yep! Been there. I lived undiagnosed for over 10 years and I always knew something was "up" with me and that life shouldn't be so rocky. Once I was diagnosed, part of me was relieved and the other part had a hard time coming to grips that I did, in fact, have a mental illness that needed to be treated. Then, I got mad. Mad at all I was robbed because of all those years of just surviving - or that's how it felt. I still get mad from time to time - mad at my own brain, mad at my parents, just mad that I just am not "normal". I do miss the good hypomanic states, but the depression parts were so, so bad. I can live with being subdued by meds now.
Taking your meds on time is so important. I set an alarm to go off on my phone (since I usually always have my phone with me) to remind me.

[Berly0384]

Cool I like that Bipolar Bug.....thanks for the advice. I am definitely going to set an alarm to take my meds now. It is so important for my sanity to take my meds so an alarm will ensure that I take them. Yay! Also, was nice to know you have been in the same place as me, Best Wishes, Berly

[BuggsBunny]

It's good that you have come to terms with your disease, and are willing to work with it, instead of against it. I'll admit that I do miss the good manic episodes, the high and happy ones, but have made peace with the fact that you don't get the ups without the downs. Well, at least I don't. And frankly, the downs aren't worth the little bits of up that I get. So medication compliance is where it's at!

One hint to taking your meds is to combine them with something you do every day anyway. I have a 7pm pill. I combine it with doing the dinner dishes. Morning pills I take when I get dressed, so I keep those in my closet. Bedtime pills, same thing, as I change into my pajamas.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by BipolarBug

Once I was diagnosed, part of me was relieved and the other part had a hard time coming to grips that I did, in fact, have a mental illness that needed to be treated.

Yeah. THIS. ^^

[dub_phantom]

This thread brings up something I've been thinking about the past couple of days... Assuming I am bipolar, is it really worth getting diagnosed, getting meds, going to a therapist and all that? Sure I get really really down sometimes but I figured that was just part of life... And for example right now I feel fantastic, I've been able to talk to everyone and make friends easily with complete strangers the past few days and my thoughts are going so great I can write a song in ten minutes, I don't see the point if this is the high thing everybody talks about would it just make me normal and boring? Because I really don't see the point in that, I'm not sure how much I really need help.

[kindachaotic]

dub_phantom, Since you are undecided, ask friends and/or family about your moods.
Tell them to be completely honest, just to get an objective opinion from people you trust.
Something to think about. You'll either be relieved or decide you need to see a doc.

Good luck.

[Berly0384]

dub_phantom: I totally understand where you are coming from. As a person who has just accepted my diagnosis, I can relate with the battle and rationalization you tell yourself. I can tell you this: All the debate is not worth it, meds do not make you normal and boring, and if you are in debate just try taking your meds as prescribed for a little while. Like they say in AA (I'll apply it to this because it relates and yes I am also an addict/alcoholic), If your not happy after taking your meds as prescribed for a maybe 3 month period we will refund your misery. Please learn from my experience and don't torture yourself for years. My wish for you is that you live a happy, healthy and successful life and in my opinion that only will happen if you take your meds. Don't get discouraged, it takes awhile to get on the right meds but give it a chance, accept your diagnosis, and live your life. Best wishes, Berly

[justgivealittle]

hmm... ya know I was diagnosed in 2009 with Bipolar disorder and was in complete denial. I thought the psychiatrist I had at the time didn't know what she was talking about but I'm like most people here.... I enjoy the highs... I live for the highs and I hate the lows! I cycle rapidly multiple times a day. I think "flatline" is boring...(which is something my psych and community support worker brought up.) but I'm not on any meds so I don't know.

[Hobbes75]

Originally Posted by BipolarBug

Yep! Been there. I lived undiagnosed for over 10 years and I always knew something was "up" with me and that life shouldn't be so rocky. Once I was diagnosed, part of me was relieved and the other part had a hard time coming to grips that I did, in fact, have a mental illness that needed to be treated. Then, I got mad. Mad at all I was robbed because of all those years of just surviving - or that's how it felt. I still get mad from time to time - mad at my own brain, mad at my parents, just mad that I just am not "normal". I do miss the good hypomanic states, but the depression parts were so, so bad. I can live with being subdued by meds now.
Taking your meds on time is so important. I set an alarm to go off on my phone (since I usually always have my phone with me) to remind me.

Hi BipolarBug, I am fairly new. I can totally relate to your response! I went so many years not being diagnosed properly! I was so mad at everyone and everything in my life. I have BiPolar and it is under control(for the most part) with meds and Doc visits. I had to reply to you b/c I didn't feel so alone like I do a lot of the time. Thanks for your reply!

[kj44]

I've been diagnosed bipolar by 2 Docs, in 2 years. We never found the right med combo, not on any meds for about 3 weeks. I try to accept it, but, it is very hard when there is no-one behind you.

[moremi]

I was in denial for years. Not a good thing. I only proceeded to get worse every month. Now I am medicated and have been for almost two years. I finakly found the right combo for me. Its time consuming and draining emotionally and physically but well worth it in the end. I have never been happier. I get slightly hypo now and then but just make sure i watch close and sleep n eat good. It really is trial and error, but totally worth it.