I used to be very defensive of my diagnoses, holding them close to me and using them as an explanation for everything I felt. I was depressed? Must be Bipolar. Feeling really good? Going manic. Racing, repetitive thoughts? My OCD.

Yes, I have Bipolar and OCD. But that doesn't mean it was healthy for me to mention them at the drop of a hat, as a reason for all my emotions. Sadly, this is what I used to do. If someone became frustrated with me, it wasn't difficult for me to throw out the old "You just don't understand, you don't have Bipolar Disorder!"

Fact is, all humans have emotions. Yes, sometimes they are out of whack and can be the result of mental illness. But are these labels holding us back? How quick is society to label someone with a mental illness, and tell them that they now have certain limitations as a result. Myself, I was told that I would need to be on meds for the rest of my life. And for a long time, I believed that. Now I am tapering off, and hopeful that I no longer need to be dependent on medication anymore.

Sometimes I admit, I will become frustrated when I see someone clinging to their mental health label. But I did that for over 3 years - it wasn't an instant change. So that is where patience comes in. I just hope that everyone, at some point in there life, will come to see that they are more than their diagnoses. Mental illness does not have to hold us back, or become a security blanket like it was for me at one point.

Stepping away from that comfort was tough, and it still can be tough. But it sure beats living in a world where my mental illnesses were my closest friends and reasons for everything. Now they are merely a small part of me, they are NOT me.

[Trippin2.0]

I feel the same way, it was nice to have a reason for my behaviour, but I think alot of us let our labels consume us to a certain extent. We forget that beneath the label lies a living breathing humanbeing, and we are ALL bound to react to life regardless of dx. I no longer question my every reaction or thought and try to label them as symptomatic, and this helps, bcoz that fear and power I gave my symptoms just fueled them. No, I don't think I'm cured, I don't doubt that I will have future episodes, and yes I'm still vigilant, but I try my best to stay grounded. Posting here has helped immensely in this regard.
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Melissa, you've come a long way, super proud of you...

[bowhunt72]

A phrase I've been trying to keep in mind lately: "I am not my illness. I am not my past."

[bipolarmedstudent]

I'm still not at the point where I can take full responsibility for my past actions. I need my illness to bear part of that burden in order to be able to live with myself. To think that I lost my amazing job last summer because of myself rather than my illness simply hurts too much for me to bear.

So, I guess I'm just not at that point yet that you are. I'm not strong enough to get rid of the security blanket. I need to blame my past mistakes on something other than myself.

I think I tend to be the opposite most of the time. I get depressed " what's making me depressed, what's making me depressed, what's making me depressed ? ". Or when I haven't slept in three days and am really really busy, " gee I wonder why I haven't been sleeping". Really like duh! I've never really use it as a reason for my behavior but there has to be a happy medium somewhere in there right? Not good to heavy duty blame yourself for everything you've ever done while operating under the influence of bipolar either. So dont go too far that direction.

I'm working on giving myself some acceptance. I think it's good to be accountable and to realize that some moods are just normal, it's just finding that balance.

[BipolaRNurse]

That's exactly what my pdoc and I were discussing today. I'm still trying to figure out where the bipolar ends and I begin---I don't know yet how to tell the difference between being moody because the BP is about to spin out of control again, or because I'm just having a crappy day like everyone else on the planet does once in awhile. And I'll admit it: when I have a crappy day and start feeling those feelings, I'm afraid I'll fall into an endless death spiral that I'll never recover from.

But, today I was given some tools to work with to prevent these frequent backslides, and with another increase in medication I hope to continue making progress. He's thinking about tapering me off Celexa at some point because it could be contributing to the rapid cycling I seem to be experiencing, so if/when I ever get stabilized, I may be able to make do with only the Lamictal and the PRN lorazepam. One can hope, anyway.

[Alcinus_of_chell]

I agree! With everything! Except;

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

Fact is, all humans have emotions.

I don't think I've got the same range of emotions as a normal human anymore, It's manic/hypomanic, sliding into depression, angry, and very occasionally afraid.

But still really great post!

[Confusedinomicon]

I try not to worry too much about it. I start to worry if the mood or w/ever begins to interfere with my ability to function. Then I start to worry a lot.

Like right now I've been feeling pretty lethargic and don't want to socialize. Sucks, but I haven't thought of any suicidal thoughts so I know it will eventually pass.