[Secretum]

Hello everyone. I'm happy to report that I am the least depressed that I've been in weeks.

Today I had a period of elevated mood in which I had a "brilliant" idea-I should write a book on what it's really like to have bipolar. I would include my own very personal experiences as well as those of others whom I would interview. It would be unlike any other bipolar book on the market, because in addition to explaining the mechanics of the disorder and treatment, it would include personal stories explaining how the disorder can manifest itself. The book would represent the ENTIRE bipolar spectrum;the heterogeneity of bipolar would be one of the major points. This would make it different from books like Madness and An Unquiet Mind-it would be much more than one person's story.

Now that I'm down from the high, I am starting to question the idea. Part of me really wants to complete the project; it sounds like a lot of fun, and I think that it could benefit a lot of people if it were published. But the rest of me is terrified to "come out" to the entire world as depressed, hypomanic, and psychotic. I will be applying to med schools in a few years, and I know that (unfortunately) admissions boards can be quite prejudiced against the mentally ill. Yet, half the reason why I want to write this book is to fight this sort of stigma.

One solution would be to not include my story. Another would be to not reveal that it was my story. However, confessing my issues would give the book structure and a more personal flavor.

What do y'all think? Should I attempt this project (summer break is coming up-soon I'll have loads of time to work. )? If so, how open should I be?

Also, would you be interested in reading a book like the one that I'm proposing?

Thanks!

[and_im_still_here]

It sounds like a very nice idea, i would read it especially because it would explain a real live experience with the sintoms that makes it more interesting but you should really be careful with what you say be open but not very very open

Secretum,

Why should you not write a book about Bipolar? There really isn't that many great books on Bipolar available. There is some but not tons. I can't think of any good reasons not too. If I were anything of a writer perhaps I would a book, why not?

I think your ideas are good, I would read a book like that. Many different perspectives and stories, it sounds very interesting. There are ways to work around your personal info, and aside from that what's there to loose?

[Trippin2.0]

I would SO read your book! I don't see any reason not to go ahead with it. You don't have to put your face on the cover, and you could use an alias... Altho, I'd just claim there's many Secretums out there if someone asked about it... I really think you should go ahead with it, you've got an excellent idea

[BNLsMOM]

If it is in your heart, then you should write it. I have thought many times of writing a book about my experiences of the last three years. I would definitely read your book. As far as anonymity goes, I just learned something in the partial I am in. Once you say it you own it and it loses its power over you. I don't think it matters if your real name is on it or not.

I wish you luck with the project, and who knows, maybe we'll both be on the shelf together.

[BipolaRNurse]

I'd read it! I will say, though, that while you'll probably want to write under a pen name, there's nothing wrong with telling your own story. That personalizes it for the reader and makes them think, "Oh cool, this person really knows what s/he's talking about." IOW, speaking in the first person increases your credibility and shows others how to succeed despite---or even because of---the disorder.

I'm a writer as well as a nurse, and I have a blog on another website called "The Best Is Yet To Be" where I recently 'came out' as bipolar. I still can't believe how supportive the vast majority of responses have been, and how many of us there are out there---even many like me, who occupy positions of responsibility and authority. Not one person I've talked to about this disorder has looked at me funny or turned their back on me, which gives me a lot of hope that the stigma is finally beginning to go away.

Which it won't if we don't talk about it. We ought to be able to say "I have bipolar disorder" as easily as we say "I have diabetes" or "I have chronic low back pain"; there should be no shame or guilt associated with it. We didn't ask for it; why should we have to treat it like a dirty secret?

[SunAngel]

I started to write a book on BP Disorder. I got to page 3 and then didn't feel like doing it anymore. However, I am going to finish it one of these days now that I am back to being "me" again.

I say go for it because you just may help others who are suffering with BP Disorder. It just may take some time, but if you wrote a book, I would buy it in a heartbeat.

[Secretum]

Thanks for all the encouragement! I'm not sure if I'll write it or not; I've been experiencing more depression and less hypomania lately, and I'm lacking the confidence that I could finish it. I'm going to continue to consider the idea, and hey? maybe I'll get a long hypo period and I'll actually do it.

[krisakira]

I hate when I get a "brilliant" idea when I am high, and then either quit doing it when I am down or not even start it. It makes me feel like a total loser for not doing anything I had set my mind to do. I think you should still try to write the book though. Even if you just write some short stories.

[LadyShadow]

Hello!

I think it would be absolutely amazing to hear your story. But if you are apprehensive about your identity and med school you can do like the others suggested and use an alias or pen name, if that makes you feel comfortable. I would love to be a person like BipolaRnurse and come out and be open with my illness, but I still feel like it is a dirty secret and we are scrutinized and judged for being bipolar.

I'm not sure who is to blame for that. Maybe its just the way TV and the media portrays us and how they lump us in with every other illness and label us all as "crazy" or "disturbed". I think people fear what they don't understand, and if they had walked even a few feet in our shoes and lived the life we have they wouldn't be so quick to judge us.

As you can tell, I do have some anger in me about the stigma, but I feel that a book like yours with your experiences can educate people and open their eyes to what being bipolar is and that we are human and you know what, I think there is a little bipolar in every human being, we are just the "extreme" version.

Good luck, and don't let negative thoughts sway you, I believe in you, and if you would like someone to interview, I have some stories to tell you girl! I would love to exchange stories and ideas. Some of the episodes of mania I experienced were a form of divine influence, (like I was seeing God, hearing angels, etc.) and they were quite vivid and as real to me as the air and trees outside. It would definitely be an interesting read!

Hope to see your books on the shelves soon!

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