Sorry this is so long. It's a freak out rant and I've got to get it out somewhere. It seemed not quite right for how are you doing thread.

Been fighting to keep myself from going too far down in the pit for a number of days now. But Saturday night threw more in the mix. Stress and overwhelm. I hate to talk much about what goes on with my BF, but sometimes it spills over so much into what I am going through that… well, here goes. Sat. night he went freaked out and sui. Managed after a couple of hours to convince him sleep it through till Mon. comes. When please oh God, let this thing come through, because I don't know how long I can do it. Well, here it is Monday. I woke up late for work, but got ready. To call? No. They will, and I'm trying to stretch the time as much as possible. Then realize they don't have my number. I can "sleep late" (excuse), but it's getting to a point…. what to do? Stay and hope? Go in and worry that he will wake up, be distraught again, and… God knows what. It all revolves around his med. Despite repeated asking through vm and emails, faxes from the pharmacy, and going to the office in person (wasn't there) we have been waiting since…. Dec 3. I sh** you not. He stretched them as far as he could. He does not handle being med-free at all well. (It's not a med we can get w/o a hard copy, so no chance of a pharmacy "tide-over". Of course.)

I would just call in to work, but we are way below poverty line, so that's a harder call to make than one might think. Even if I call in, there's no guarantee the med will come through. Then what? Another day? I obviously can't tell work what is really going on. And the clock… I am really pushing it. Then we've got the holidays and pharmacy closings. F*** f*** f***!!!!!!

Well, in writing this out, I guess my only real option is to call in to work, drive down to the psych office, hope to God she's there (and truly, there is no way to know, as weird as that might sound). If not, then I will go hysterical.

I will keep you posted. If I'm not curled up crying and hysterical on psych's doorstep. Fingers crossed for me. Please? Sorry to bother you all, but I truly don't know where to go with all this.

Well, guess I've waited as long as I can at home here for notice to come through. Time to drive.

[BNLsMOM]

I am sorry you are going through this. I hope it gets sorted out soon.

[BlackPup]

So sorry that you and your BF are going through this. Sending prayers your way. Hope you get the meds soon. I get so freaked out when I can't get my meds.

[~Christina]

I am so sorry .... Good positive thoughts your way

Thank you all!
Crisis (somewhat) averted. Relieved. For now…. Gotta get a better system in place or something.