[Beebizzy]

Hi All,

Hope everyone's Sunday is good.

I saw my pdoc on Thursday and he said if my workload/work stress is not addressed he'll be putting me on long term leave again (was off for 9 weeks last year). I hadn't been doing well and he doubled my meds.

So... I have to have a conversation with my boss tomorrow to try to sort it out. Realistically I don't think anything will change, but at least I'll have told him.

I don't know how to go about having this conversation - what to say and so on. I'm really rubbish at these things. Knowing me I'll just roll over and absorb even more work.

My boss knows I have this condition and that work could be impacted and he said I should tell him if that's the case. And then he forgets everything about it.

There's one thing in particular I want to get rid of. I have to organise a conference - this has nothing to do with my job. The thought of it makes me feel sick. I have zero energy or motivation for this. A wall goes up in my brain when I think about it. I've already started with the work so it might be hard to 'give it back'. And I don't know how to say 'no' to things.

Anyone got any ideas? I'm in Europe so employment situations are a bit different - I'm not going to get fired, for example. But there are also no 'accommodations'. I'm more concerned with how to conduct the conversation rather than with the consequences (at this stage anyway ), you know?

Thanks for reading,
BB

[hamster-bamster]

Do you mean to say that on the one hand, it is better than in the US in that you won't get fired, yet on the other hand there is no equivalent of ADA - Americans with Disabilities Act - so no one is obliged to provide you with accommodations?

[Beebizzy]

Yes, right.

[cocoabeans]

Well, either you talk to him and things get better or they don't. It doesn't sound like things will get worse. Bipolar disorder isn't a new topic with you. Perhaps you could suggest getting help with organizing the conference? Hell, maybe there is someone in your office who would like the opportunity for some additional responsibility. Thing is, if you don't talk to him, you are more likely going to end up on a leave, right? I suppose you do have the option to suffer through everything and tell your doc to go to hell regarding a leave but, compared to an uncomfortable conversation with the boss? Eh.

I have a terrible time saying no to people too especially my employer! Stresses me out but, stress is good for me sometimes.

[Beebizzy]

Thanks Cocoabeans! I read your post on the bus to work this morning and as a result procrastinated less that I otherwise would have done.

The conversation went well. He is, or appears to be, committed to finding some kind of solution. We will go through my tasks on Wednesday and he will even help me with the conference himself

You are right - it was better to have spoken up - which I never usually do.

I thought I'd feel better afterwards but I don't - I'm berating myself for being a 'weak' idiot, and re-playing (involuntarily) the entire conversation in my head to identify exactly where I sounded the most stupid. The increased meds can't kick in soon enough.

Thanks,
BB

[cocoabeans]

Oh, I'm glad that helped. I have that habit to play things over and over, hell I'm doing it now about something that happened with my boss today! Anyway, when I want to think about it, what is done is over and can't be changed and those little things we do? Meh, every one has those in their own mind and really, how often do you recognize that or think that way about others?

I really think most people are to invovled with themselves to worry about how you may have phrased something or some silly comment. We only have our minds. It isn't negative, simply is where "one" exists, behind a single nose ans set of eyes.

Or....at least that's what I tell myself before going on to do something else.