[grlnmt66]

Ive felt this way my entire life...Im not sure If this is my perception..or if its really the case. (Im leaning toward my own perception) Does anyone..or has anyone experienced these feelings?

Yeah, I have alway been a loner and considered by others as "the weird girl". I used to hate it when I was little but began to accept it and eventually embrace it. I have a very small group of people that I'm tight with and that's it. That's all I need. I feel like I fit in pretty good with the people on this site too.

[BipolaRNurse]

That's what I love about this forum. We're ALL weird in our own little ways, but it's OK---they know us here.

[missbelle]

Me too sometimes and depending where I am.....sometimes I try and fit my round peg in a square hole and thats what gets me sad. We can't get along with everyone and sometimes we try to fit in when thank God we are not like the people we are trying to fit in with..........I know that you will find your nitche soon and if not so be it. You must be special and unique thats all!!

[Trippin2.0]

I personally can't grasp the term 'fitting in'... I'm not sure what it is people want to 'fit in' to I'm unfamiliar with this illusive mould people talk about. I get along easily and quite well with most people, save for the stupid, fake and hypocrites, BUT, for some or other reasons, I have had VERY few real friendships, even when I had cliques I hung out with, bcoz I had more than 1 clique at a time to keep things interesting Aaand, I openly scoffed at any kind of peer pressure and swiftly moved on when I outgrew them. At 27, my r/s history is not the usual either. I've only had 1 actual bf, the rest of my relations were unorthodox to say the least, even tho 2 were long lasting... So even THAT is not the norm when compared to others, but it's MY norm. Even in a group, I've always stood out, it's just how I am... There were times when I felt alone (like when my peers were experimenting with kissing boys and I was rollerblading with the boys instead) and not quite regular (like when I was displaying signs of bp but nobody understood), but I've learned to embrace my individuality, and work around the negative. Every coin has 2 sides, you gotta take the bad with the good. My individuality is what sets me apart, it's why strangers remember me 10yrs later, and why my real friends appreciate me... Now... a sense of belonging, I understand that sentiment. For me, I feel like I belong in my family, as weird as they are in their own right, I play a certain role in the lives of different members, confidant, buddy, friend, guide, mother. and I have found that I belong here, at PC too, where I have people who share my experiences, who have my back when I'm falling, who shine a light when it's dark and provide a map for when I get lost... Please don't feel like a misfit, you fit here just fine, AND you belong here

[grlnmt66]

@ TheHighPriestess~I also have a small group of close-knit friends...(only one knows that Im BP)they love and accept me...I feel at home here, too. As for society at large...not so much so, lol.

[grlnmt66]

Thanks everyone... @Trippin2.0~I also leave a lasting impression on some ppl. Im just my authentic and quirky self! I do feel like I "belong and fit in here"...which pretty much ROCKS!

i think i read that is a common feeling with BP?

def something ive felt a lot throughout my life - thats why i have moved so much (more than once a year for the last 17) - the feeling that something isnt right/i dont fit here

[grlnmt66]

@Froglegs~ It seems to common from the posts Ive read..So, I do fit in, lol. HERE!

[faerie_moon_x]

I've never fit in. Even when I have 'friends' I don't fit in. I have always felt this way and was badly bullied as a child.

[vjdragonfly]

grlnmt66 I can relate with the feeling of being an outcast. I guess that is why when I was a teenager I wound up hanging with a group of outcasts. The funny thing is we were happy to be this way. I feel like an outcast within my own family. At least here we all fit together and can understand what we are going through.

[SmokeyPoole2012]

I can definately relate to that grinmt66. Stange though animals don't mind me at all. I know a stray cat I call Boo Boo (because of the scars on his face) who shows up on my porch every once in a while and hanges out. He won't let me tough him but he always seems to show up out of the blue.

[Red_Cyclops]

I know the feeling. I'm definitely the "black sheep" of my family, and I only have a small group of close friends. I have hundreds of acquaintances and those people always remember who I am, even if it's been years since I've last seen them. But I can only count on 1 hand the number of people I truly call "friends". I feel like my mind just doesn't work the way everyone else's around me does - maybe it's the BP, or maybe I'm just different. I like being independent and don't really need many people in my life. I have a good wife who is patient with me so I am lucky, and I have 2 special needs children that I focus on mostly.

This post brings up a lot of memories for me. I graduated from high school about 25 years ago, but I remember it very clearly - I had tons of people I was "friendly" with in every possible clique in the school, but I just didn't fit in to any of them, and therefore, didn't really have any true close friends. I don't stay in contact with anyone from HS and haven't since I graduated and went off to college. Those whom I call "friends" are people I met in college, and they don't even live near me, so I see them only sporadically. Sometimes I think it would be nice to meet more people locally, but I only really have 1 outlet for that, which is training Jiu Jitsu, and while I like all of those people and have trained with them for years, I've just never made that jump to spending time with any of them on a personal basis. I have no idea why. However, it's somewhat comforting to know that there are others out there that feel somewhat the same way. I just always thought I was strange and socially immature.

As I look back now, I know that if I wasn't BP, things would probably be much different. I was a good athlete in HS and well known by everyone, but just not tight with anyone. I think I've always been kind of a loner and maybe always will be, and I accept that and am OK with it. We are different - I truly believe that. In many ways, we are stronger than people who don't have BP or any other issues. Every day is a struggle or battle of some sort for us, but we just keep trying to make it through. We have our ups and downs, but we just try to be good, productive people. I don't think we should worry about trying to "fit in".

Thanks for reading.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by vjdragonfly

grlnmt66 I can relate with the feeling of being an outcast. I guess that is why when I was a teenager I wound up hanging with a group of outcasts. The funny thing is we were happy to be this way. I feel like an outcast within my own family. At least here we all fit together and can understand what we are going through.

Yes. THIS. ^^

I graduated from high school 36 years ago and had a blast hanging out with other misfits.......in fact, there was a pretty large group of us, and we had friends from all the other social strata. We liked to think we were our own brand of "cool".

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Yes. THIS. ^^

I graduated from high school 36 years ago and had a blast hanging out with other misfits.......in fact, there was a pretty large group of us, and we had friends from all the other social strata. We liked to think we were our own brand of "cool".

Same here until all the outcasts either disappeared or conformed. Where did they all go? But for me, even my group of outcasts turned on me.

Now my husband was super popular. He's still able to generate a following. Not sure how. How did an outcast end up with someone like that? It annoys him, I think. Because he can just say 'I need a friend' and one appears. Where I say "I need a friend,' and i can hear the echo like in the grand canyon.

[ChaoticSymphony]

I kind of remember trying to be funny in school, maybe that was my attempt at fitting in?? I just know that now I am not phased by fitting in. I am wondering if it is a comfort thing or not. I would much rather observe ppl rather than interact in group settings. Parties I sit on the outer cushion of the couch and just talk when talked to and observe the rest of the time. When I get into one of my moods tho you can shut me up and I am all over the party and up and down the walls lol...I suppose looking back I was probably manic at the time.

[vjdragonfly]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Yes. THIS. ^^

I graduated from high school 36 years ago and had a blast hanging out with other misfits.......in fact, there was a pretty large group of us, and we had friends from all the other social strata. We liked to think we were our own brand of "cool".

You know it is funny that you said this. Our little gropup called ourselves the misfits ,

[jaypop30]

The majority of the time I don't fel like I fit in at all. I feel very different when around people. Which is more then likely why I love the comfort of my own home, and why I don't have many freinds.

[EverythingNothing]

I've always had the feeling I was seeing things in a totally different manner than most. We all obviously have our own set of eyes. It's as if I'm riding along a different spectrum of reality.

It's hard to explain but basically I've felt this way, to different degrees of intensity at different times, my whole life. These days it isn't so bad but the detachment still kicks my *** here and there.

[tcmoon52]

I don't mix well with others. When i am hypo-manic, i tell jokes and eventually I am the only one laughing, and someone is offended. When I discuss politic's or sirituality, people look at me in disbelief. I have had 6 different Bipolar friends, developed good frienships with them, only to watch them desinegrate when our cycles clash. When I am depressed I could care less about much and just isolate. I have known I was different a lot longer than I have known I was Bipolar.

[faerie_moon_x]

I used to be in theatre. I used to watch stand-up all the time. So in college I remember I went to an after party after we finished a run of The Tempest. It was a wild party with everyone drinking, etc. I never was a drinker, so I was completely sober but also very manic, I'm sure. So I remember standing in the middle of a room telling jokes and this ring of people around me laughing. Mania + years of watching stand-up = me being hilarious... it didn't last, though. But I still love telling jokes and being funny. Of course, I can't think of funny things like I used to.

Fit in, hmmm... I fit in, in my own special way. Well some are squares, some are circles, or triangles, I liken myself to be an octagon. I might not find people that I really "get" or that get me... I think there is always room for an octagon, or whatever other shape you come in. That's why Party Mix and Trail Mix always have a mix, variety, who wants to party with only cheerios or blaze trails with only cashews.

I know what you mean, I've felt it many times. But I try to remind myself that I have something unique to bring to the table, it might look different from others, but nothing wrong with a little or a lot of eccentricity.

[moremi]

Im like trippin. I never had a certain cliqe i fit in with. I got along with mostly everyone. I think I was different so and didnt really understand what fitting in would or wouldnt be so it didnt bother me. I just didnt consider it I guess. I seem to fit where ever. In high school there were all different kinds of people and I like it that way. No one should be the same i dont think. Just be yourself and you will fit in nicely where ever you want to be. I like being different, because all my unique little quirks make upwho I am.
I think you will find you fit in around here, we dont push people away or anything. I hope you feel wanted and welcome here because its a great place to be when you really need someone. The people on pc arecamazing at pulling me up and seting me straight. Hugs to you. :-)

[Irreplaceable]

I never cared about fitting in...I never wanted to be in the cool "in crowd". I identify and sympathize more with the underdogs. The cheerleaders, "cool chicks" or mean chicks, and sorority girls, those are the ones I ran away from. Well actually, I was cool with a girl in a sorority but she was always cool to me. I've always been a loner. If you are a pretty cool person and respect me, I can rock with you. If I make friends, GREAT, if I don't, it doesn't bother me. My bf judges me based on the number of friends I have. He has friends, I basically don't. Well, I do, but.....Yes it hurts my feelings when he says, "Weeelllllllll, this is what you do when you have friends", or "That's why you don't have friends". I am who I am. This is the way I have always been. I'm a loner. I'm quiet at times. I don't get wrapped up with trying to impress the next person or kiss their ***** because I want them to like me. At times, my quietness comes off as cockyness. Which, again, is ok because I'm not trying to impress anyone. To a certain extent, I have to be honest, I do care what certain people think about me. But only the ones that I love and matter to me. It's human nature to be hurt by not being accepted. I do get hurt by that at times. But, it is what it is. Now the acceptance thing, and the feeling that you feel like an outsider, people are talking about you behind you back, scheming behind you back, and are out to get you or hurt you, THAT I can identify with. I believe that is a bipolar trait. Paranoia or whatever you want to call it.

Like Trippen, when a lot of the people I knew in High School where going to parties, going on dates, having sex, doing drugs, staying out late, yadda yadda, that wasn't me. I knew better and that just wasn't me. And because I didn't engage in those things, I didn't fit in with a lot of people. It's cool. Cause guess what? The "mean chicks" and "cool chicks" and cheerleaders, the popular ones, they are all mostly fat, not doing anything with themselves, look run down and worn out. They were wonderful in High School but not so much as an adult. Even in my place of employment, I clearly see that grown folks form clicks like they are in High School. This is what people do. Some people just need to feel like they are needed and a part of something and accepted as a form of validation. This is only my opinion. I am the same way now. I don't give a d*mn about being in someone's click. If we cool, we cool. If I befriend someone, you know they are good people because I don't befriend just anyone. But again, I definetly can relate to feeling like an outsider or like something is wrong with you. You have to shield yourself and rid yourself of the mentality of wanting to fit in.

[Red_Cyclops]

Originally Posted by Irreplaceable

I never cared about fitting in...I never wanted to be in the cool "in crowd". I identify and sympathize more with the underdogs. The cheerleaders, "cool chicks" or mean chicks, and sorority girls, those are the ones I ran away from. Well actually, I was cool with a girl in a sorority but she was always cool to me. I've always been a loner. If you are a pretty cool person and respect me, I can rock with you. If I make friends, GREAT, if I don't, it doesn't bother me. My bf judges me based on the number of friends I have. He has friends, I basically don't. Well, I do, but.....Yes it hurts my feelings when he says, "Weeelllllllll, this is what you do when you have friends", or "That's why you don't have friends". I am who I am. This is the way I have always been. I'm a loner. I'm quiet at times. I don't get wrapped up with trying to impress the next person or kiss their ***** because I want them to like me. At times, my quietness comes off as cockyness. Which, again, is ok because I'm not trying to impress anyone. To a certain extent, I have to be honest, I do care what certain people think about me. But only the ones that I love and matter to me. It's human nature to be hurt by not being accepted. I do get hurt by that at times. But, it is what it is. Now the acceptance thing, and the feeling that you feel like an outsider, people are talking about you behind you back, scheming behind you back, and are out to get you or hurt you, THAT I can identify with. I believe that is a bipolar trait. Paranoia or whatever you want to call it.

Like Trippen, when a lot of the people I knew in High School where going to parties, going on dates, having sex, doing drugs, staying out late, yadda yadda, that wasn't me. I knew better and that just wasn't me. And because I didn't engage in those things, I didn't fit in with a lot of people. It's cool. Cause guess what? The "mean chicks" and "cool chicks" and cheerleaders, the popular ones, they are all mostly fat, not doing anything with themselves, look run down and worn out. They were wonderful in High School but not so much as an adult. Even in my place of employment, I clearly see that grown folks form clicks like they are in High School. This is what people do. Some people just need to feel like they are needed and a part of something and accepted as a form of validation. This is only my opinion. I am the same way now. I don't give a d*mn about being in someone's click. If we cool, we cool. If I befriend someone, you know they are good people because I don't befriend just anyone. But again, I definetly can relate to feeling like an outsider or like something is wrong with you. You have to shield yourself and rid yourself of the mentality of wanting to fit in.

I really appreciate this attitude and outlook, Irreplaceable. I'm laughing out loud because I see the same thing with the "cool" girls and guys from my HS. I went to my 20 year reunion a couple years ago, and there was a common theme - so many of the people who were somewhat on the outside and maybe even considered nerdy now look great; they have everything together, are mostly in good shape, and nice people. Meanwhile, most of the "popular" girls and guys don't look so good anymore. The girls are mostly overweight and have tons of wrinkles, looking like they've been out in the sun for too long. The guys all have big stomachs, are balding, and look much older than they are. I just think how that is justice at is best. I was in the middle somewhere - really not fitting in at all but being mostly friendly with a lot of different people. It was so nice to see the popular crowd looking bad. Again - that is just pure justice.