[wimaine]

Was just diagnosed as Bipolar II. No meds yet, have to wait for 6 weeks to get in to see the dr for that. I've had some history for the past several years of atypical depression along with hypomanic behavior. I tend to be irresponsible and impulsive during my hypomania, but no sleep disorders or super quick thoughts or anything like that. Anyway, I've been married for 3 years (second marriage -- first broke up for GOOD reasons, but in hindsight I did do it during a hypomanic episode -- although it was the right decision no matter when I think on it). I have one child from my first marriage, one from my second. The marriage was happy -- VERY happy, except the last couple months before this started. Then I was still happy, but getting frustrated and scared by my husband, who did (and still does) not much but watch tv when he's not working. We don't hardly ever go out or anything, and when we do, we can't agree on anything to do because we are just NOT the same people. Also, for a few months he had been having some seriously delusional behavior such as thinking all our neighbors and his coworkers were talking about him, and aiming shotgun microphones at our house to hear us talk. He thought they followed him around to restaurants, even. He went to a dr for it, and I'm not sure if he's better or just not telling me about it anymore because I told him that it wasn't really happening. So, anyway, he went out of town for a couple of weeks, and I started up a flirtation then affair with a coworker. We've known each other for a year and a half, and have always clicked (not sexually, just get each other). He's smart, funny, I find him attractive, he's a wonderful guy and a terrific father (he is divorced, has 4 kids). We get along fantastically and neither of us sees this as a casual thing. My husband found out, and is willing to forgive me, but repairing everything will take years. I've also, in the meantime, found out I'm bipolar II. I've explained this to him, but he does not get it. He says he'll do whatever to support me to fix it, but he means whatever is convenient for him. I have a chance with this other guy, but it means leaving my husband (I make most of the money). Although I love my husband, I love the other guy, too. I've thought and thought and dug deep inside on that one -- -and I truly do. But I don't want to be THAT chick -- who has TWO ex husbands and TWO kids, one by each husband, and has to arrange visitation yadda yadda yadda. It'd be hard on my kids, as he's a great father and stepfather. But honestly, now that I've realized how LITTLE we have in common --- and met someone with whom I DO -- and also knowing ME -- I am not sure I'd be happy with him anymore. The coworker thing is not going to be an issue with the other one, as the organizational structure is changing.

HELP!!!!!! What the heck do I do?????? Stay with hubby to see if it ever gets better? If so, for how long? and even if I decide I can spend my life with him, no telling if he'll ever feel the same, and I don't want to stay in a relationship that is -- I don't know... tainted?

[cherybery]

First welcome too PC. Second, I am not sure if anyone here can tell you what to do in that type of situation. Only you will know the answer to that. What I am wondering is, does the coworker know about your Bipolar? Sounds like your husband is saying he would support you through this. I don't know, I am a bit confused because you said he was going too therapy but you told him it wasn't happening??
You have to make this decision. Either concentrate on your marriage and maybe go through counseling together and support one another or tell your hubby how you feel and you want a divorce.
Anyhoot, welcome too PC!

[wimaine]

Coworker knows about Bipolar as well, and is equally supportive. Actually, more so. Hubby is going to a Pdoc for his delusional thing.

[Azalysa]

Adding my welcome to PC as well!

As CheryBery said...no one can tell you what to do. However, I would suggest thinking on what it was about your husband that attracted you to him...what was it like when you were dating...those types of things.

When things are not going well in a relationship...the grass-looks-greener syndrome can easily set in. Not saying this is your situation...these are just things I would think on...seriously...before doing something.

Good luck to you on this...sounds like you're really in pain.