Teenager with bipolar (and more) living with bipolar father and alcoholic mother

My last diagnosis was bipolar II, ADHD-PI, generalized anxiety (with an emphasis on the social aspect), mild OCD & ODD, and mild aspergers. I'm not sure how much of that is valid, but at the moment it's all I have to base my opinions on. One shrink diagnosed me with schizoaffective, on the bipolar spectrum, but I honestly don't have delusions. I do experience difficulty distinguishing truth from falsehood (psychosis) and fear that I will be harmed (paranoia), especially when considering highly abstract and complex subject matter or when I intermingle with ruthless people, but this is perfectly normal, and I think that shrink was just overwhelmed by my knowledge. The closest I come to schizophrenia comes in the form of auditory hallucinations of sometimes not being sure if I'm hearing my alarm clock or phone sound, but I can always tell by approaching my nightstand that I'm just imagining it. I have tinnitus of an unknown cause, which could explain it. I never hear voices, but my conscience and my train of thought is definitely influenced by what others have said. I'll let others decide if my thinking seems incoherent or not. Personally, that diagnosis really wrenched my heart and deflated my ego, since I had previously felt sure my family had no history of schizophrenia, and I knew how debilitating the disease could be (although the other 5 combined might be worse)! I'm still seeking closure on this uncertainty (potentially due to hypochondriasis and/or medical student syndrome), even though I'm realizing that nobody can give a 100% accurate diagnosis, especially if you find it difficult to be 100% honest with them about your symptoms.

I often get frustrated, agitated, upset, angry, disappointed when people make very minor mistakes, and I can easily take my anger out on others by insulting them whenever I'm slightly discontent with life or jealous of their situation. Usually this leads into depression and loneliness and feelings of hopelessness, and finally regretting throwing those insults out there. For example, my father locked both the handle and the deadbolt today (OCD, and slight paranoia), and this afternoon when I tried to enter with my hands full, I found it difficult. He ultimately came to the door to open it for me because I wouldn't put down books or groceries, and I greeted him very meanly, by exclaiming that he had promised not to lock the deadbolt and he had been so forgetful and careless as to break the promise he had meant to keep. Later today I also yelled at him for not filing his tax returns despite them being three months late. He called me an offensive, uncongenial asshole and suggested that I learn the art of diplomacy. He then went on his own depressive episode, and later in the day, said very nasty things to me, including threatening to disown me, and calling me a self-centered loser and a puckered-up asshole. I often expect people to be angels and get pissed at them when they fail to fulfill my utopian expectations. I had a similar incident with my mother today (parents are separated, and live 3 miles apart, so I usually bounce between households, for the record), who was supposed to (by that I mean she promised to) prepare dinner (a homemade gourmet pizza), yet who declined to do so, instead opting to swallow 5 glasses of wine in the late morning (after "working" at her bakery) and passing out until 6 pm, at which point I already had been working for 30 minutes on dinner and had the dough rising and the toppings prepared. She then danced to loud music and talked about trivial affairs while I continued working in the kitchen. She had the balls to ask if I needed help, to which I replied, that it would be nice, and then she wanted me to dictate orders, and I said forget it, I'd rather do it myself than give instructions to someone who can't think straight and doesn't want to learn how to help make a simple pizza! I was furious as soon as returned home (5 pm), since I knew she had passed out drunk, but I was determined to internalize it until she picked up on it, and I only had an outburst when she approached me in the kitchen to discuss things that I really didn't give a **** about, apparently not noticing or caring that I was rolling the dough and reducing the sauce. At this point I let out every criticism I could muster up, from her alcoholism to her narcissism to her immaturity, to her dishonesty to her unreliability to her stupidity to her irresponsibility. It felt good to get this off my chest, but I was frustrated that she basically ignored what I had said and started talking about her life immediately again. At one point I said it would be nice if she would cook the dinner for once, since I have many food allergies [including corn!] (which can cause changes in blood pressure, irritable bowels, skin rashes, fatigue, lack of concentration, confusion, and even migraines), and since I am struggling with bills and undergraduate work (particularly those God-damned general education classes), and I'm busier than her lazy, lousy ***. After I pulled the pizzas out of the oven and sat down to eat with her, I became catatonic for 2 minutes, and she asked me if everything was OK (she is aware I have bipolar, and she understands it partly), and I broke my motionless silence to complain about how bad and unsupportive my parents were, how bad my genes were, and how fundamentally harsh, unforgiving and irrational the world was, but she immediately diffused the comments and returned to her self-centered spiel and narcissistic spewing.
I can also be euphoric and manic and jovial, suffering, at times, from grandiose illusions and idealistic misconceptions. For example, today when I talked with the friend I was very eager to tell him that something great had happened in my professional life which would be very fortunate and by me some time to relax and procrastinate and be lazy. All that really happened was that I had made a slight bit of progress on one giant research project (yes, I work for professors, and I'm very doubtful whether I will continue to...I've even considered dropping out of college, as I'm not even a sophomore yet and my ADHD renders it very difficult, especially the Gen Eds). Sometimes this mania leads into dishonesty to myself and to others, and it always involves some degree of unrealistic thinking, perhaps even dissociation or psychosis. It is on the verge of costing me my job, since my professors are confused by and even suspicious of my independence and my slow pace, thinking I don't like the projects, just the money, or that I'm secretly working with other professors (none of which is true). It's simply that my anxiety and mania and ADHD are making it hard to focus on the work that I need to do at home. On the whole, I would have to say I'm far more depressed than manic, although I also experienced mixed states of dysphoric/anhedonic mania or agitated depression, and they usually cycle very rapidly, sometimes 3-8 times daily, though once weekly or monthly is also possible, depending on how unstable my personal circumstances are at any given time.
These two "poles", I'm told, are part of my bipolar. I have tried lithium orotate, but it has undesirable side effects, and doesn't even seem to help my cycling profoundly. It's a very subtle effect, if any, and I don't like the physical and mental sides. I tried St. Johns Wort because a shrink recommended it, but it didn't really help my depression and surely worsened my mania. Lithium did help with mania, particularly when combined with BCAAs, which I still take during manic episodes. Exercise, good diet, and avoiding allergens do not cure my bipolar. I was recommended to try more intense things, like lamotrigine, carbamazepine, valproate, diltiazem, oxcarbazepine, topiramate, and gabapentin...but I'd like to avoid things with such undesirable side effect profiles, if possible and wise. I'm stubborn and strangely proud of it. For depression, I was recommended fluoxetine, buspirone, phenelzine, paroxetine, citalopram, mirtazapine, amitriptyline, venlafaxine, bupropion, tianeptine, or selegiline. For psychoses (if I have them), I was recommended all the antipsychotics in America.

I'm sure you've noticed my ADD by this point. I have not tried to treat it, but I am told adderall will help, though I am opposed to it because of its harmful side effects. Tyrosine and phenylalanine don't help profoundly, nor do ginkgo or ginseng or fish oil. All four tend to worsen my mania too, so there's a slight contraindication going on there. I still take fish oil, mainly for my heart health, but it doesn't cure my ADD at all. I was recommended adderall (mentioned already), as well as methylphenidate and atomexetine.

My anxiety is also bad. I often get very wound up and worried about my situation/future, my parents' health, my health (severe hypochondriasis), and how I will interact with others (breaking the ice is very difficult, but it's also stressful to try to sustain the interaction when sulking back to my cave is such an easy out. I've learned to manage work and school anxiety fairly well, but it still reliably (sometimes 10 times daily) overwhelms me before I manage to calm myself (and sometimes I can't do it alone and need someone to reassure me there's no reason to be anxious before my heart calms and my thoughts relax). I have tried valerian ashwagandha, theanine, gaba, kava, skullcap, chamomile, and passionflower, but they all have the problem of tolerance, and none of them are profoundly beneficial. I have tried bacopa, rhodiola, magnesium/calcium/zinc/potassium/selenium, and lysine/arginine but they don't seem to be what I'm looking for. I was recommended benzos by a psychiatrist, but told him they were not a cure and I was not interested in something which became less effective with time. I similarly rejected propranolol, zolpidem, zopiclone, and afobazole. Perhaps I need some of the next generation novel anxiolytics which aren't even through clinical trials yet? Should I look into these?

My OCD/aspergers isn't terrible, but they lead to obsessions and intrusive thoughts, as well as peculiar language and difficulty reading facial expressions or expressing my own emotional state. It also has led to ODD, basically a hatred of all imperfect authorities (that means all of them). Inositol helps a bit, but doesn't cure it.

I was addicted to cannabis until 3 weeks ago for 2 years and caffeine until 3 months ago for 3 years, at which points I voluntarily quit cold turkey, due to their anxiogensis and memory impairment. I once got my hands on cannatonic #4 (14% CBD, 0.5% THC), which worked well, suggestion I respond to the anxiolytic properties of cannabidiol, but it's illegal and difficult and expensive to obtain such types of cannabis, so this is not an option for now. Cannatonic #7 (8% CBD, 8% THC) is also anxiogenic. The paranoia from the cannabis (almost always THC-rich and CBD-devoid) made socialization much harder, as I was often unduly suspicious of people, finding it easy to believe they would talk behind my back, and less confident that the conversation would end well, feeling I would say something out of place. It caused me to become even less involved with my friends, and to shy away from making new friends.

Other than that, I'm just really struggling with my parents, professors (who also employ me), and school (mainly gen eds, as I'm lucky to be gifted in the math and science, or so they reassure me). Any advice is appreciated in advance.

I'm really not sure where to start. Maybe I need to stop trying to help my parents and just get out on my own...but the economic recession doesn't make that easy. One shrink told me my issues were so complex that there was no single medicine or stack of medicines/herbs that would help more than it would harm, and that I was better off just trying to cope with therapy (which has become self-therapy because I have no one really to talk to, am uninsured, and can't afford $80/week for more than like 6 weeks per 3 months to see a shrink who knows little and thinks selfishly). Anyways, I'm fast becoming manic and anxious and hyperfocused now, around my usual bedtime, so I'll tell myself I've said all that I can say for one night and that it's up to forum members to respond if they wish, and now I'll take BCAAs and lithium and calcium/other metals to calm down, then valerian and melatonin to induce a brief and artificial sleep. I'm not sure if it's a combination (as I've heard that ADHD, anxiety, and bipolar can all, on their own, manifest as insomnia), but I often can stay up all night thinking, only to sleep 4-5 hours, until the afternoon. Sleep deprivation rarely causes me migraines or severe issues, but I can tell it's not the best thing for my brain or for my focus/motivation/attention span. Some nights I sleep better than others (especially now that I'm through the marijuana withdrawals), but I often toss and turn and wake after dreams, only to struggle to fall back asleep.

Thanks for reading my rant.