[Geminik87]

Please help me. I know this is is no replacement for medical advice from a professional, but that is not possible at this very second.

I have been with my Boyfriend for 5 years. He is a great, nice guy. He has had Type I diabetes since birth, so was medically fragile, especially as a child. Therefore, his mother was EXTREMELY controlling, and still tries to be to this day. He is an LPN, and we just finished the rest of schooling and graduated as RN's. You have to pass national boards to get your license, and you get 4 chances. I passed, he did not. He is a bad test taker so it wasnt all that suprising. But he is a great nurse and has worked as an LPN for 2 years. He hates his job. He hates having to take care of 30 patients as opposed to 5 in a hospital (in our area hospitals dont hire LPNs, just RNs) He has been bummed the last month since he failed the test. He said he screwed everything up, he could have been out of this present job by now if he had just "not been stupid and passed". He says things like "All Ill ever be is an LPN that means nothing". He will go from being fine to saying frightening things.

One Example:

We went out to eat with our friends. He was acting kind of out of it all day, but dinner went fine. On the way we were talking about Aliens (weird) and then I asked if he truly beleived in God, he said he was not sure.

4 hours later we are driving home and he starts going insane. He says "If it were 100 years ago, I wouldnt even be alive, thats how pathetic and useless as a human being I am" and I said "Why do you say that?" He said: "The DIabetes would have killed me back then right away, and if It didnt I would have just killed myself because of all the bad thoughts I have" I told hjim he was being unreasonable and he said "No one would care if I was dead, I mean nothing to anybody" then I got mad and started yelling at him for that non sense and he got very irritable and yelled "You asked If I beleived in God. Yes I do, BECAUSE HE HATES ME!" and started grabbing his face and crying saying he wish he could just think normally like everyone else. He says his thoughts race and he can never pay attention because hes thinking about other things, 90% of the time they are pessimistic things.

He thinks He's Bipolar, and I think so too. But many places talk about Bipolar being excessive spenders (he says buying things make him happy, small things, but afterwords he feels guilt) He has never bought something without asking advice on if it makes sense/ we can afford it. He also has held down a job since graduating 2 years ago. He keeps his composure at work and has never had to leave because of it. He also has been offered promotions on numerious occasions (he declined, because he always knew his plan was to go back to school, which he did)

Please someone tell me if this is typical bipolar behavior

Originally Posted by Geminik87

Please help me. I know this is is no replacement for medical advice from a professional, but that is not possible at this very second.

I have been with my Boyfriend for 5 years. He is a great, nice guy. He has had Type I diabetes since birth, so was medically fragile, especially as a child. Therefore, his mother was EXTREMELY controlling, and still tries to be to this day. He is an LPN, and we just finished the rest of schooling and graduated as RN's. You have to pass national boards to get your license, and you get 4 chances. I passed, he did not. He is a bad test taker so it wasnt all that suprising. But he is a great nurse and has worked as an LPN for 2 years. He hates his job. He hates having to take care of 30 patients as opposed to 5 in a hospital (in our area hospitals dont hire LPNs, just RNs) He has been bummed the last month since he failed the test. He said he screwed everything up, he could have been out of this present job by now if he had just "not been stupid and passed". He says things like "All Ill ever be is an LPN that means nothing". He will go from being fine to saying frightening things.

One Example:

We went out to eat with our friends. He was acting kind of out of it all day, but dinner went fine. On the way we were talking about Aliens (weird) and then I asked if he truly beleived in God, he said he was not sure.

4 hours later we are driving home and he starts going insane. He says "If it were 100 years ago, I wouldnt even be alive, thats how pathetic and useless as a human being I am" and I said "Why do you say that?" He said: "The DIabetes would have killed me back then right away, and if It didnt I would have just killed myself because of all the bad thoughts I have" I told hjim he was being unreasonable and he said "No one would care if I was dead, I mean nothing to anybody" then I got mad and started yelling at him for that non sense and he got very irritable and yelled "You asked If I beleived in God. Yes I do, BECAUSE HE HATES ME!" and started grabbing his face and crying saying he wish he could just think normally like everyone else. He says his thoughts race and he can never pay attention because hes thinking about other things, 90% of the time they are pessimistic things.

He thinks He's Bipolar, and I think so too. But many places talk about Bipolar being excessive spenders (he says buying things make him happy, small things, but afterwords he feels guilt) He has never bought something without asking advice on if it makes sense/ we can afford it. He also has held down a job since graduating 2 years ago. He keeps his composure at work and has never had to leave because of it. He also has been offered promotions on numerious occasions (he declined, because he always knew his plan was to go back to school, which he did)

Please someone tell me if this is typical bipolar behavior

might be good just to check out a bit more expand on the 'many places' and do some digging yep. I'm in no position to make any type of specific call.

what you describe is "typical" human style disappoinments and self loathing when not meeting expectations we assign to ourselves.

and as a guy I know we let things slide till they really hurt and then blow up all nasty at life and ourselves...

but the fact that he believes 'he' doesn't think like everyone else and it's affecting him and you... and also that you have arrived here looking for something.

I would say....yep why not go talk to someone in the profession, go together. get a referral from the doc ...it's always better face to face right up from the start....then you can really get a feel if it's a problem or not

[Clinte89]

I agree with that dblmonkey, as guys we will let things get bad. It took my family forcing my just about well no they did force me, so try to convince him to get help soon and find out whats really going on.

Took my wife 12 years to finally get me to talk to someone. Guys are stubborn! But the racing thoughts could be much more than Bipolar Disorder. My P-doc has talked my ear off about what ADD is cuz he thought I had it a while back and it could be something like that too. Something to think about. Go see someone!

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, I'm not a doctor but first off, it wouldn't be surprising if he's depressed. But you also have to consider he has a chronic illness, too. I work with diabetes patients everyday. 99.9% of them have depression. I mean, being angry and depressed to have this physical condition that will never go away, that's rough. Cancer, diabetes, bipolar... we're all living with chronic illness. It's very natural to be angry at god.

Also, you need to consider how his BGs run because swinging from low to high causes mood swings just like with bipolar. I actually often see a lot of similarities between bipolar and diabetes. Strange, right? Not really. They are both chemical issues in the body. Especially when BGs are running high can cause sudden anger outbursts over little things. I grew up with that, my dad was always in the low 200s. (He's type 2 but the effects are the same.) And I see it all the time. We see people who have BGs running int he 500s and those people are seething with rage, snap like a twig at the smallest annoyance. As they get better, they start to feel happier, too. The thing with BGs being off (low and high) is your body gets used to it and you don't even realize that you feel bad anymore.

As for other symptoms... "Spending" is part of "risk taking behavior" and "poor judgement." Not everyone is a spender. Risk taking behavior during mania can be spending, gambling, sexual promiscuity, suddenly quitting your job for no logical reason / job hopping, and so on.

But the best thing is have him take the depression and mania quizes here, print out the results and take him to a psychiatrist. Also, does he have a certified diabetes educator? Having a good endocrinologist for the medical side, and certified diabetes educator is really good to help with the self-care side, even if he just goes in to keep in touch, stay up to date on carb counting and BG monitoring, and having someone to reach out to if things get out of whack. And then also a good resource is a psychologist who also speicializes in diabetes, even for depression if not bipolar. Then he would have a full wellness team.

Yep, see a psychiatrist, please.

Genetic

[Geminik87]

Thank you all. so, so much. It means a lot that I know I can come here for advice. And maybe in a few months, he'll feel comfortable coming here too...