[findingmyself1005]

I was dignosied with bipolar mixed almost 7 yrs ago. Although as many i had symptoms for many yrs before i was actually diangoinsed. My life as i knew it came to s hault literally in a day. I was what i though was prodctive. I had a job. Had 2 kids full time to care for. I also was going to school,but that was all gone in a flash. Then my life was full of meds and doc appts. Over the last 7 yrs i have had a few jobs, but with the same pattern i have had all my life i would walk off one day because someone or somthing pissed me off. I even tried to go back to school,but couldnt stay focused to save my life. 3 yrs ago i lost everything i had, well maertail wise, in a relationship that ended badly. So for the last 3 yrs i have tried to replace all i had lost. I have become a loner some would say. I lost my car and havent been abel to get another one. I have never not had a car since i was 18. I also have never not had a job. So i took this as a chance to finally focus on me like i should have many yrs ago. So now im trying to get the disablility. I m in my second appeals proces. I feel like if im not approved and recive the back payments i will be stuck in a no where life. right now i live in public hosusing. dont have a car or a job. Im hoping that i will be approved for a few reasons. The main reaosn is that i can move back to my daughters school district adn get her back. I asked her dad to help me when i was doing very badly. I also want to go back to school . I will never be abel to get a good job unless i get back to school. So i need to pay off a back balance before i can go back. Then i woudl need a car in order to go back becasue of where i live. I also think it would be good for me to have that stabel income in place in case im not ready to be out there again. So now i have more days where im questioning msyelf if i can really do this? I know we shoudl all have faith in ourselves and what we are cabable of, but i also think about how ive always been told that people with bipolar can lead a 'normal',life, so my question what is consdierd normal???

[eloquentdisaster]

To be honest, normal is what you make of it. Some people achieve much more 'normality' than others, but it greatly varies. To me? Normal would be being able to do what I want to with my life.

Do you have a therapist you see regularly? It sounds like your problems at work and in school are both things a therapist can help you with.

[plumapplepear]

I would not worry about normal or comparing yourself to others. Sounds like you are trying to get some help. Take care

[missbelle]

Make a list of your priorities......then cross them off one at a time......thinking of what you have to do will drive you nuts......and is totally unproductive.....When we are not thinking straight its easy to do nothing or give up, but a list might help...I know it may sound stupid but it works...its about reaching goals...........all this stuff you have to do will take a little time so you have to start with today and what you can do just for today,...then worry about tomorrow. Some agencies are giving cars away for moms that want to go back to work. Are there any in your area? You have the computer...Try to do a lot of stuff on the computer and see what you come up with.........

About SSD, If you do find a job they will find you able to work and throw out your SS appeal. You need a job under the table that can help you. Don't take any job where you have to give your SS # otherwise Social Security will see. As long as you are applying you have to protect yourself.

Your welfare Dep't should have access to schools and grants as well as Vocational rehab. Hopefully there is one close to you

Hang in there......one day at a time is the only way to go and keep your sanity!!
Thinking of you;

The definition of norm..

[robeff]

Dear FindingMyself,

I am in a similar situation right now. Although I have only been off of work about 10 months, I am also in the middle of a SS application and wondering if I can deal with working again. Luckily (or unlucky for me), I don't have any kids to worry about. Just to let you know you're not alone. I don't have any answers yet. Hugs, Robeff