[unior]

Hello.

Problem: It seems every time I start a new job I go manic. Which seems to cause paranoid delusions about my coworkers. I am so happy to land a job that I lose it and think that they are all talking about me/out to get me.

I'm sad I'm just learning a little about whats going on now 6 years down the road from my initial episode. Extremely rough to be learning so much about whats been happening to me over the past years. I wish I could have understood what was going on long ago.

Maybe I was never on the right medications? I don't know. I was so bad I don't remember much about the past. My mother told me the other day I was on lithium and I don't even remember it. Now I'm on 30mg of abilify and still getting bad paranoia/anxiety/mania in certain situations.

Anyhow I'm about to see a psychologist for the first time ever....tomorrow. I'm scheduled to see a psychiatrist next week.....for the first time ever. Does anyone have any advice for me? I always questioned counselors...like how could they help me?

I am finally getting over the fact that I have a problem and I'm ready to go forward with my life. I'm finally off illicit drugs and taking my medications more seriously.

I like to know how things work. I normally stick to cars and mechanical items. Learning about the brain is new to me. I want to conquer this. I want to win. Not just for myself but because I care very much for others. I want to learn enough to be of assistance to others.

Sorry to babble on and on....found this site tonight while googling for a mood tracker. My mood tracker says I'm possibly in a manic state. I believe that is correct.

TIA
unior