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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 486
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#1
My downward spiral continues, and each day at work is hell.
I'm starting to think they are piling impossible projects on me with deadlines scheduled so there is no possible way to get each of them completed unless I take the work home each evening, skip sleeping, and then take the work home over the weekend, as well. This isn't just me being paranoid. Two co-workers (one of whom knows I'm bipolar) observed me getting two conflicting sets of instructions today and encouraged me to speak to the supervisor because there was no possible way to get everything done within the time I was given. The co-worker who knows I'm bipolar ended up secretly doing 90% of one of the projects for me while I orked on the other project. When I first started posting here a few weeks ago, someone encouraged me to find out about my employer's short-term and long-term disability insurance in case I need to take some time away. It looks like short-term disability can last for up to 90 days and I would receive 75% of my salary. Long-term disability would kick in after that, if more time is needed. Mental illness is only covered for 24 months, and long-term disability pays 60% of salary. My original thinking was wondering if I explained to a doctor that I've almost been fired 3 times in 1.5 years and dangerously close to it again, maybe they would put me on short-term disability and possibly the outpatient day setting at the local mental health clinic while figuring out the right combination of meds for me. That would give me a chance to stabilize my meds, put my job on hold, and hopefully get my act together when I return to work. Any opinions? Any advice? I'm scheduled to see the psychologist August 8. Meanwhile, my MD added Abilify to my Celexa two weeks ago. I'm waking up about 5 times each night. Feeling very sleep-deprived and manic. |
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Darth Bane, justaSeeker
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justaSeeker
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Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 86
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#2
Sounds like a plan. Have you talked to your supervisor or Human Resources? Sometimes we need that time off to get our meds straight, work thru our issues, rest, possibly day program would help you.
How are you doing today? I hope better |
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justaSeeker
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 486
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#3
I haven't talked to supervisor or HR at all.
Supervisor is young and inexperienced. At my annual review a couple of weeks ago, when she was tearing me a new A-hole and telling me what a terrible worker I am and what a bad year I had last fiscal year (although my previous review was glowing), she mentioned me nodding off in a couple of meetings. When I said, "That's because I have sleep apnea and --" and then she interrupted and said she wasn't going to listen to a medical excuse, someone else in the department has sleep apnea but he isn't falling asleep, and it all boils down to all of us doing our work without excuses. So, because of her reaction to me simply nodding and catching myself two times in meetings a year ago (and never actually falling asleep at work), I'm afraid to tell her what's up. Plus she's buddies with a couple of people in the department, who were her buddies before she was promoted a few months ago. They're constantly in her office with the door shut, going to lunch, etc., and I know whatever I tell her will be shared with these folks. I believe I'm still hypomanic. Have been for a couple of weeks now. I'm anxious to see the psychologist and get this show back on the road. |
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justaSeeker, optimize990h
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: Canada
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#4
purpledaisy: I'm in similar circumstances work wise. facing LTD. off 3 months, work was a big part of my life. Hope you resolve your situation quicker than me.
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justaSeeker
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justaSeeker
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#5
Your package is standard. Note that the short-term disability pay is tax-free, so it is actually more than it appears. Long-term is, I believe, partially taxable.
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justaSeeker
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 486
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#6
I wonder if using short-term or long-term disability is something that an employee has to fight for, similar to the way most people are denied unemployment and have to appeal before they ever get it.
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justaSeeker
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Canada
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#7
I did not have any trouble qualifying for LTD during my first severe episode, albeit I had to wait 5 months to qualify. I live in Canada, so the details are likely different. I was struggling for a long time a work prior to going off. The main thing that helped was the report from my pdoc. I hope this works out for you.
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justaSeeker
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#8
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justaSeeker
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Member Since Jul 2012
Location: USA
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#9
I had to have 6 months no income before long term disability kicked in then they had me apply to ss for benefits if I remember right at that point I could barely work anyway everyone noticed but loss of work was a hard pill to swallow.
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justaSeeker
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Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: E Washington
Posts: 56
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#10
Long term disability usually has a 24 month limit on mental illness BUT my Metlife disability policy made an exception for a few severe mental illnesses like BiPolar and Schizoprehenia. Metlife actually hired the attorney to file for SSDI on my behalf; this was really important to them as it reduced their monthly payment to me and their attorney got me SSDI less than 60 days after they filed. I pay income tax on the SSDI and on 1/2 of the LTD policy because I paid 1/2 of the premium for the LTD. LTD pays until I turn 62.
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justaSeeker
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justaSeeker
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 486
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#11
My long-term disability also has a limit of 24 months for mental health.
We'll see what happens with the possibility of doing short-term while we work out my meds. I was able to function at this job for the first 6 months of employment, but then the rollercoaster started. Not sure if it was triggered by the stress of the job or what. Anyway, I have never been able to hold a job past a year and a half and I just hit that mark a few days ago. Maybe part of the reason I always get fed up and quit or get fired is the bipolar. Today I called the crisis phone number at the facility where my psychologist appointment is scheduled for next week, because I was freaking out a bit about the job situation. Found out the facility has an inpatient program for people to get their meds figured out. It's not for the more serious cases. If there is a chance you will hurt yourself or someone else, they send you to the psych ward instead. She told me this inpatient wing usually keeps people between 2 - 5 days. It sounds pretty informal. The doors are unlocked all day. They lock them at night. I learned some stuff at work today that made me feel like I might be fired or "asked to resign" faster than I had thought. It upset me in a way. It looks like I'm being taken off of a long-term project that involved duties that are actually my strengths. So why take me off of those duties if I'm actually great at them? It doesn't make sense. Unless they want to get rid of me, or if they figure they will free up time for me to focus on learning the stuff that I'm NOT that great at doing. The meeting where this change will be announced is going to take place next week, on the same day as my psychologist appointment. Now the problem will be dealing with my downward spiral. After a couple of weeks of hypomania, I'm dreading this. Tomorrow morning, I'm calling the clinic to see if they might be able to see me before Wednesday. It's worth a shot. |
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justaSeeker
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2007
Location: Minnesota
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#12
I feel very lucky. I had short term and long term insurance. After a year, I was required to apply for SSD and received it. The insurance company reduced what they give me by the amount of money I get from SSD, but I still get 60% of my regular income. Since I paid for my LTD with after tax money I don't have to pay income tax on it. My eligibility is re-evaluated every year or two but I can continue on it until I reach retirement age. I don't know if they go with 62 or 66. (my DOB means that my full retirement age is above 65)
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justaSeeker
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justaSeeker
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Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
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#13
Purpledaisy, I am worried. I am worried about the timing. If being fired is imminent, it is best to apply for STD right away - then they cannot fire you.
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justaSeeker
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 486
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#14
The way I understand it (from the paperwork that I printed from the company intranet), first I have to be under a doctor's care and "unable" to work.
If I call in sick, but I'm not officially under a doctor's care for whatever is wrong, it's just going to burn through my paid time off instead of being considered STD. First thing in the morning, I am calling the clinic to see if anyone can see me faster than the appointment that I already have booked for Wednesday This is my first time back at this clinic since I quit going maybe 15 years ago. Maybe I should call my regular MD if the clinic can't get me in faster. |
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justaSeeker
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Location: Northern California
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#15
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 486
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#16
Another poopy day at work.
I got one project finished a day before deadline, even though several roadblocks were thrown at me and I'm starting to think the roadblocks are on purpose to make me quit. Got another project finished on deadline. Then a problem appeared from a project that I finished months ago and it was approved by the person who trained me. It was a little stressful because I was grilled about why I did things a certain way on the project. Why didn't I do them another way? Because I was trained to do it this way. I guess it turned out OK in the end. I never heard a real verdict. First thing this morning, I tried calling my regular MD. She and her physicians' assistant are out on vacation until next Wednesday. Wednesday is the day my first appointment with the psychologist is scheduled. So I called the clinic where my appointment will be held Wednesday to see if they could get me in to see someone else faster, and nothing was available. |
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justaSeeker
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justaSeeker
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#17
Whoever that is whom you see first, tell that person right away that you are unable to work (because 1,2,3...) and need a note. Send the note to HR. You do not need to notify your manager as long as you notify HR.
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justaSeeker, purpledaisy
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 486
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#18
I will do that, Hamster. Thanks for the advice.
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2010
Location: utah
Posts: 10
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#19
I am currently on private (employer) Long Term Disability. In order to get to this point I had to: use all sick leave, use all FMLA time, use all Short Term Disability. I went into the hospital for suicidal planning/actions, was there 2 weeks, so I had quite a bit of documentation for LTD, especially since STD was for same reasons. My psychiatrist has been very helpful in understanding the issues and documenting them, the apt time is used to fill out the forms as needed (longer than normal apt time is needed). I was recently required to file for SSDI, I have it ready to digitally sign but want a mental health advocate to look it over first (from DBSA). I get 60% of my monthly income for up to 24 months, as long as I am disabled from THAT JOB or a similar one. I can also work, which I am doing at lower stress jobs (no, not flippin burgers, that may be more stressful!), and I just get 50% of the earnings subtracted from my 60% salary. It is the best insurance, wish I didn't have reason to use it, but it has been a house and life saver. Best of Luck to you, ...
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justaSeeker
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justaSeeker
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2010
Location: utah
Posts: 10
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#20
Update
I am still on LTD, amazing and disturbing. I finally filed for SSDI through a law firm, hadn't been able to get myself to send off the application. I am working at a hospital stockroom, far cry from previous jobs prior to crisis health stuff. Today I am trying to psych myself up for another day on the job. I may take a walk, try to get out of my current mind set. I stress out even prior to going the two days a week I work. Yesterday I was irritable, kept taking comments from the Lead personally and *****ing to myself. At the end of the day, I had another "melt down" as I call it, crying at work. I had just spoken with tone and urgency that reflected my mood .......and was told not to take things out on my coworkers. I guess he was calling himself a coworker ............I had messed up again, and taking it hard again. It is a vicious circle ...I do not have the self control and up-beat mood that I need .....anyway, I am also tired of the medication/diagnosis treatment cycle. I want a cure, not this. |
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