[faerie_moon_x]

Saying that "I have a right to choose to die by suicide" is like saying "I have the riight to choose to die of a heart attack." Do people choose to have heart attacks? No. Do they happen to people because of poor care or treatment of their illness? Yes.

Suicide is not a choice. It's a symptom of a mental illness, and a deadly one, just like a heart attack is not the actual illness. The actual illnesses that cause heart attacks are blocked arteries, bad valves, and worn down heart muscles.

Saying that suicide is a choice is like saying manic episodes or depressive episodes are a choice. It's like saying paranoid delusions are a choice. It's like saying hallucinations are a choice. It's like saying mixed episodes are a choice. Do you choose to have those things? I sure don't.

Have you ever heard the term: "Of sound mind and body" ? Well, when you're suicidal you're no longer of "sound mind." You may think you're being 100% logical and intelligant. Just like when you have psychosis, you are not capable of reality checking (the ability to determine the difference between what is real and what is not.) If suicide is a logical choice, then all the people who think they are Jesus or being chased by aliens or whatever, and attack their neighbors, are also completely logical. Suicidal thoughts behave a lot like psychotic delusions, actually. Because they are false truths that convince you 100% that they are true. It's a misfiring of the brain caused by mental illness. Depression. Bipolar. Schizoaffective. Schizophrenia. All of us are at risk.

So if all suicidal people should be left alone to make their own "choice," all people having heart attacks should be left to fend for themselves. Because it's exactly the same thing. The difference is, heart attacks are fully physical and people don't hold stigma against them like suicide: and that stigma is that it was a "choice." Both heart attacks and suicide are preventable with proper treatment and care.

And it isn't just lack of treatment that increases the risk. It's also under-treatment, or poor treatment. How many of you can seriously say that your treatment is of the best quality and you're in remission? Those who can, awesome, for everyone else, including me... well you can go it alone and die from your illness or you can admit that you have a bad valve, a clogged artery, a worn out muscle... but in your damn brain instead of your heart and you need the support of others.

Isn't that why we're here? For support? In our darkest hours?

http://www.suicide.org/suicide-is-not-a-choice.html

[Eliza Jane]

I don't have anything to add, but wanted to thank you for this post.

Best,
EJ

If only the papers or tv broadcast would take your post and put it out there! Dr. Oz would be a good place for it. Maybe you should send it in... who knows???

I'm behind you 1000%

[Moose72]

I noticed how my brain felt differently about death when I was diagnosed with pulmonary emboli. I would've thought the sui side of me would've said, "Yeah! Alright!" but since I wasn't sui at the time, I was scared.

[Trippin2.0]

Great post DHX behind you all the way!

good post.
thanks..

[hamster-bamster]

This would have been a nice letter to the editor, wouldn't it?

[eloquentdisaster]

Thank you very, very much for saying such an important thing in such an perfect way.

[bluemountains]

Thank you dark heart! I have filled in my husband on what to look for with me when I go into depression. I have really only been close with plans and details once, but a successful once would be enough.
I agree with Hamster, you should publish your post to make those who don't get it a little bit smarter, maybe.

[faerie_moon_x]

Thanks for the positive feedback everyone. I don't know what you mean letter to the editor? Editor of what? Publish where?

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Thanks for the positive feedback everyone. I don't know what you mean letter to the editor? Editor of what? Publish where?

The editor of your local newspaper, or if you live in a small town, send it to a larger newspaper. I live in our state's capital, and I see letters sent from all over the state.

[Bipolar1972]

Love the words. Agree with you. Too much stigma around what is not understood

It is really good Darkheart, and excellent writing, you are right, you are a writer! the only thing for me, and I do not support suicide. Is someone euthanizing themselves to escape from severe chronic and debilitating pain, I'm not even sure about that, as i have never been in that position, I can kind of understand if you are given two years to live, and you decide not to spend the last two years suffering grossly. But I don't think you included that here, nor discluded ( me own word) it either. And I only mention it in case you do decide to turn this in to an editor somewhere. Which I really think is a good idea!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Anika

It is really good Darkheart, and excellent writing, you are right, you are a writer! the only thing for me, and I do not support suicide. Is someone euthanizing themselves to escape from severe chronic and debilitating pain, I'm not even sure about that, as i have never been in that position, I can kind of understand if you are given two years to live, and you decide not to spend the last two years suffering grossly. But I don't think you included that here, nor discluded ( me own word) it either. And I only mention it in case you do decide to turn this in to an editor somewhere. Which I really think is a good idea!

I agree, debilitating chronic pain is a category of its own. I hope to never have first-hand experience of that...

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by Anika

It is really good Darkheart, and excellent writing, you are right, you are a writer! the only thing for me, and I do not support suicide. Is someone euthanizing themselves to escape from severe chronic and debilitating pain, I'm not even sure about that, as i have never been in that position, I can kind of understand if you are given two years to live, and you decide not to spend the last two years suffering grossly. But I don't think you included that here, nor discluded ( me own word) it either. And I only mention it in case you do decide to turn this in to an editor somewhere. Which I really think is a good idea!

I was talking about suicide for mental illness, you are right. Not for people with other debilitating pain, life ending illness. But there, I don't know about that either.

My mom had breast cancer, you know. And, when she died the doctors said she had only 5% healthy tissue in her body, the rest was all tumors. The doctor in the hospital could not believe that only 7 days before her death she had been walking around, going to the store, driving, and fighting to survive. She was in tremendous pain. When she was diagnosed I was 2 years old, and her doctor said she had maybe 2 years to live. Well, she refused that because she had a baby girl and wanted to see her grow up. She made it until I was 13. I will never forget that time of her in the hospital.

Then also my dad, who is not nearly so brave or strong as my mom. He is actually a huge pessimist. But he has a faulty heart valve, which is genetic. And has had type 2 diabetes for most of my life, and didn't take care of himself. So he has pulminary issues, and nerve damage, and blood cell damage, and other heart damage as well. He's 75 now, and in the spring he had a heart attack, but his condition is so bad that they won't do surgery because it could kill him. So they told him he could have a few months or he could live another 10 years.

And despite barely being able to walk and dress himself, this man who always sees the dark clouds and never the silver lining, has turned his life around, changed his diet, tries his hardest at physical therapy every day, has gotten his blood glucose under control for the first time in my whole life, and is fighting for his life. He said to me, "I wish I was as brave as your mother," but I see him doing this to survive, so I think he's selling himself short.

So, I don't know. That's the only examples I have of that issue, and in both of them neither person wanted to give up.

[hamster-bamster]

Dark Heart, I am really glad that your father has developed this trooper attitude. It is so heartening. Tell him someone he does not know wishes him the best in recovery.

[Victoria'smom]

Thank-you, I spent most of last night reading the site.

I'm sorry DarkHeart. I'll send good thoughts your fathers way too, he is selling himself a bit short I agree.

My sister and mom both had cancer. My sister found out when she was 18. She did chemo and radiations for a pretty long time. Then came a point where they couldn't do anymore and it had spread very bad, my sister had two toddler age children when they stopped treatment. She wouldn't let us help her, she went for treatment and went straight to work after, and took care of her kids. When she went back in and they checked where she was at, she had zero cancer left. So I'm also glad she didn't give up.

Tho on the other hand my mom's best friend had leukemia and that was a different story, she was extremely ill, and despite her best effort things only got worse very quickly, and the suffering was soo bad. Another family friend has full blown Aids. Much different than cancer, although through having this disease he has also developed cancer. He became aware of being HIV+ over 15 years ago, but he now is in the final stage, and there isn't going to be any remission, it's pretty much all down hill. He has no partner or children, family ect. He wants out now. But like you I don't really know either.

I hope none of us here are ever faced with this either.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by Anika

I'm sorry DarkHeart. I'll send good thoughts your fathers way too, he is selling himself a bit short I agree.

My sister and mom both had cancer. My sister found out when she was 18. She did chemo and radiations for a pretty long time. Then came a point where they couldn't do anymore and it had spread very bad, my sister had two toddler age children when they stopped treatment. She wouldn't let us help her, she went for treatment and went straight to work after, and took care of her kids. When she went back in and they checked where she was at, she had zero cancer left. So I'm also glad she didn't give up.

Tho on the other hand my mom's best friend had leukemia and that was a different story, she was extremely ill, and despite her best effort things only got worse very quickly, and the suffering was soo bad. Another family friend has full blown Aids. Much different than cancer, although through having this disease he has also developed cancer. He became aware of being HIV+ over 15 years ago, but he now is in the final stage, and there isn't going to be any remission, it's pretty much all down hill. He has no partner or children, family ect. He wants out now. But like you I don't really know either.

I hope none of us here are ever faced with this either.

I will keep all your family in my thoughts, Anika. When it comes to ilnesses of that nature, I just don't know.