...yeah I remember the time really well and sure it's an absurd concept as usual produced by the absurd alien brain within my unidentified head!

...yeah I remember the time really well when it was fun ....exactly about the time I never knew I even had mental illness!

...the knowledge does not impress me but just implicates me deeper into my living crime.

there was a time energetic days awake mood swinging up and down experiences joys and disasters frenetic dreamlike consistently inconsistent with the world around me....this was my adventure....this was my freedom!


..now it's 'mania'...it's a damn 'breakdown'....a friggin 'relapse'...somethin' to 'panic' about...where are my stupid pills? oh I forgot to take them on time will I "LOSE IT?"

I feel hopelessly trapped in my diagnosis I hate it!

years ago humans died of cancer they didn't even know they had I expect?..because nobody knew what the damn thing was?

...so my question is this: does the enlightenment really lighten me? does it make me suffer more give up?...or fight to defend myself from the affliction? ...and is that why the good die young because at least I was innocent then.

[Miswimmy1]

I agree with you... I think it's harrd to know whether knowledge is better. I often think about it and have decided that diagnosises and medications are a gift and a curse at the same time. It is all about how you think of it. The important thing is to not let it define you... It is something u HAVE. It is not YOU. I think if u look at it that way, it is easier to find peace within yourself...

Monkey... You are great with projecting your thoughts my friend.

I have asked the same questions myself. I made it 43 years fooling the humans here on planet earth. I always thought my brain was just not like anyone else's, both good and bad.

I knew I could be smart, yet make stupid choices, I knew I had impulses I could not control, so I tricked myself by avoiding situations that would be disastrous (Most of the time) I always felt like I over-sold myself because I had a good job and a pretty wife, but always knew my brain was going to give me away at some point. I'm not that smart or that good of a husband because of the things I fight everyday inside my brain.

My diagnosis was shocking to me, wonderful, everything made sense after the DX. Meds helped a lot, but now I knew I was truly defective and the ADD could be pushed down for a while, but it was always and still is there waiting for it's chance to get out.

I was unique before, now I'm labeled with a disorder that most people joke about, sadly as I used to do. The joke is on me now...

The monkeys in the beautiful 1975 AMC Pacer Wagon is AWESOME!

We see things differently from the NT's out there, so what... We can find humor in things that others cannot even comprehend. So lets let it be an escape like it was before we knew what the hell "It" was

Monkey... I know you help me out with your words and images, so I say Thanks to you

hehe...you know your cars YYZ...

I didnt have a clue what it was just the monkey in the cab...and his 'crew' on the back.

I sure understand what you say yes...as I always do you make sense to me also and thankyou.

I'm not ashamed of what I'm considered to be by the world around me...just madly displaced like I am homeless in my own head my identity...

and everything I build for shelter I demolish anyway...



now that I know what I am!

thanks YYZ for the encouragement I will have to read what you wrote again and again!

One thing Monkey... You are Not the disorder
It is a part of who we are, nothing we can do about it other that understand it and keep those impulses on a short leash.



I can make fun of my quirks and if I get to the point where I cannot and lose my sense of humor, then I'll KNOW I'm in trouble

..yeah thats what I'm worried about, lately I have no sense of the humour that is inside outside upside and downside of everything.

it only takes a few days without laughter and it sure feels like it's all over it's a desperate situation for a quirky person.

...even one day without a good laugh just a smirk even...this is like a disaster!....and the habit of melancholy is quick to establish itself.

("cool dog")

Break out the "Airplane" movies, STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!"

WOW!!!! I don't know where to start with this one. I think you all have cured my bp.....or maybe you made me grab it by the horns. Dubble, we have to use the knowledge to look at ourselves in the mirror to see what we are about to do.....there's no going back now. Either slap yourself and stop, or grin like an alien beast and except what your about to do. I seem to destroy everything I touch as well, but hey, we still have our minds. And Zadd, yeah we are smarter yet make stupid choices. But does that stop us from learning from them? Humor is hard to come by because we find humor in more intelligent ways. So let's all jump in the back of the car with our monkey arms high in the sky and let Dubble drive; we may get laughed at, but atleast we can laugh at ourselves too.

...never not works YYZ...that movie was the ultimate parody!
thanks for the reminder...I like it when "jack" (is it?)...jumps out of the back of a truck and then immediately reads a newspaper showing 'him' doing just that...."fugitive on the loose"...or somethin' like that

I was watching "no country for old men last night"...and despite it being very serious!....there was a classic line.

theres a drug deal gone wrong massacre and bodies everywhere in the dust.!

the deputy says..."aint it a real mess Sheriff?"
and Tommy Lee Jones says..."yeah well if it aint?...then it will do till the real mess arrives!"

maybe thats how we can look at ourselves?...dunno?

If I aint a mess then I will do until the real mess arrives.!

"No Country for Old Men" is one of my favorites... Dark, Serious, yet Funny?!? Sounds like me

I can listen to Godsmack at High Levels and tell you "The glass is half full" ?!?!

Originally Posted by WNT2bNRML

And Zadd, yeah we are smarter yet make stupid choices. But does that stop us from learning from them? Humor is hard to come by because we find humor in more intelligent ways. So let's all jump in the back of the car with our monkey arms high in the sky and let Dubble drive; we may get laughed at, but atleast we can laugh at ourselves too.

The NT's might laugh at us, because they cannot "Get It"

If we cannot find the Wayne and Garth mobile,



then we can use my Buick (Opel Insignia to Monkey )

WNT2bNRML... Normal... Isn't that another way to say "Average"?

Went to concert with Godsmack with Matallica. TOO AWESOME!!!!!!!

Only average in the control of "just letting it go" like so many others do after being around me. "PARTY ON GARTH"!!!!

Originally Posted by WNT2bNRML

Went to concert with Godsmack with Matallica. TOO AWESOME!!!!!!!

I've seen Metalica, but not Godsmack...

I've seen Rush a number of times

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

I agree with you... I think it's harrd to know whether knowledge is better. I often think about it and have decided that diagnosises and medications are a gift and a curse at the same time. It is all about how you think of it. The important thing is to not let it define you... It is something u HAVE. It is not YOU. I think if u look at it that way, it is easier to find peace within yourself...

Originally Posted by WNT2bNRML

WOW!!!! I don't know where to start with this one. I think you all have cured my bp.....or maybe you made me grab it by the horns. Dubble, we have to use the knowledge to look at ourselves in the mirror to see what we are about to do.....there's no going back now. Either slap yourself and stop, or grin like an alien beast and except what your about to do. I seem to destroy everything I touch as well, but hey, we still have our minds. And Zadd, yeah we are smarter yet make stupid choices. But does that stop us from learning from them? Humor is hard to come by because we find humor in more intelligent ways. So let's all jump in the back of the car with our monkey arms high in the sky and let Dubble drive; we may get laughed at, but atleast we can laugh at ourselves too.

you both spoke similar things I would be foolish not to subscribe!

...ok so tell me if I'm off track here...

I'm hearin' we can still have FUN?

re-educated on the way to "world school"



thankyou both

Originally Posted by YYZadd

"No Country for Old Men" is one of my favorites... Dark, Serious, yet Funny?!? Sounds like me

I can listen to Godsmack at High Levels and tell you "The glass is half full" ?!?!

I've always acted like the glass just aint damn big enough to begin with...

Amen on the glass Dubble, but we will always reach the bottom of the glass at some point. Just hope your still standing when you do. And yes we can still have fun. Take for instance sitting on a whoopy cushion in the isle of a crowded grocery store, or doing a burn out on the road infront of your house, or even painting pink racing stripes across your car just cause you can. FUN FUN FUN!!!!!!