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#1
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Today I was riding the bus and saw an accident. Someone was lying crumpled on the ground. I was sure they were dead. I panicked and had to have an emergency meeting with the counsellor at my school. She said I didn't have a reason to so quickly assume that the person was dead...I was sick and sweating and crying and I wasn't sure I wanted to believe her.
I thought about it later and realized that nobody else on the bus seemed to be panicking. One person commented on 'poor driving', but other than that nobody really seemed to be concerned. Was I having a delusion or some kind of psychosis? Nobody else seemed to understand how horrific the situation was! I couldn't get the image of the crumpled body out of my mind. It's like I just 'knew'. Also, at one point I was obsessively convinced that my best friend's girlfriend was lying to him. It tortured me. I couldn't explain how I knew, I had a little bit of flimsy proof, but more or less an all consuming feeling that I just KNEW somehow that she was lying. It eventually led to the end of my friendship with him, and it's been a few months but I'm starting to realize that something about that seems off, like...why did I think that? Why was it so consuming? It seems that I was wrong. were these things delusions or psychotic episodes? For some reason I'm believing things that don't make sense to anyone else. |
#2
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I will only touch this what I know. When I get delusional. I believe things that are not real. Such as once I believed I could read the way people were feeling inside. I believed God gave me a special ability to be able to sense this in people and that I could manipulate their feelings. Another example. I got a promotion at work and I believed without any experience in this field whatsoever that I would be without one single doubt in my mind the best the company had ever had. I was planning on all this money because i knew i would surpass my quota was about to go out and buy a new car and la-ti-da. No one could have told me any different because I knew what I was going to do and that I was already the best. Its like unreal things get into your mind only there is nothing in your mind that tells you that they are unreal everything seems completely real and legit and normal to you.
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Crystal ![]() Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe become simple. ![]() Bipolar 1 OCD BPD Anxiety with panic disorder Agorophobia viibryd |
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