[Bubblegum27]

I dont know if Im bipolar. My dad is bipolar and Ive been having alot of the symptoms.
Some of my symptoms are:
Depression. Sometimes I get really down and sad. Sometimes Ill cry for a long time and sometimes I even think it would be easier if I were dead. I get really upset from small things.
Anger. Sometimes something little will set me off. And Ill get really mad and go to my room and cry. Sometimes everyone just annoys me and everything around me is annoying.
Excitment. I get really hyper sometimes. I will talk loud and alot. Theres times when Im really funny and make jokes about everything and laugh alot.
Anxiety. I get really worried about things sometimes. Like if theres something I have planned at say 3 oclock with alot of other people I will freak out. I wont be able to focus on anything and I will watch the clock all day. I have so much anxiety and shyness that its effecting my life alot.
Creativity. Sometimes I will be really creative and want to play the piano or draw something. Sometimes when Im playing the piano I play really fast or feel like I need to learn a new song. Alot of times I will think Im going to draw something really good and its going to be so amazing but I end up spending an hour looking at a picture and trying to draw the exact thing perfectly on a piece of paper.
Self doubt. Often I get really down and think that Im bad at playing the piano and drawing and taking pictures. Even though those are the things I love the most and am good at. Sometimes I feel ugly and insecure.

Alot of times I feel like Im on top of the world and I can do anything and then later that day I feel self pity.
Im having alot of troubles figuring out if I have certaing symtoms too. Like racing thoughts. Im not sure what that means. Whats normal and whats not?
I am almost certain that Im bipolar and I already have a doctors appointment. And after writing my symptoms I can defianetly tell Im bipolar.
Im really nervice for my appointment because Im afraid I wont know what to say when the doctor asks me question. Please help. Im only a young teenager and my dad is bipolar and I have so many symptoms.
Im afraid that if I get medicine I wont have alot of my personality left. Like my creativity and how I can make people laugh easily. I know the medicine didnt change that for my dad but Im different. Will it change it for me?

[BlackPup]

I think that you've done the right thing going to see a doctor - they are the ones that can diagnose you not us. You might need to get a referral for a psychiatrist to get a correct diagnosis and good medical management.
I think its normal to be nervous about seeing a doctor and writing things down is a good way to make sure that you don't forget important points.
My meds don't change who I am they just make my moods more stable, I don't have hypomanic times when everything seems easy anymore but its worth it to not have the depression.

[treehugger727]

I agree with BlackPup. The only person who can give you a diagnosis is a mental health professional. I also worry about the side effects possibly taking pieces of me away or dulling my creativity somehow. I know everyone s different, but I have actually felt more like creating and find myself drawing in my journal all the time, doodling like i used to and still being able to unleash creativity. Personally, I like to believe that there is a treatment plan for everyone. It is important to be honest with your pdoc and advise of any undesirable side effects that you encounter. There may be other options for you that will not leave you feeling like that.

Sounds like you have made that ever-important first step; to seek treatment and take control of your life. Good Job. Stay strong and know that there is support here for you should you need it.

TH

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm on four different medications, and I haven't noticed any change in my creativity (I'm a writer in my other life)......if anything, I'm better because my thoughts are less disorganized. I do have some flattening of the emotions, but this is not a bad thing--- I'm still able to experience both joy and sadness, just without being so overwhelmed. And as for personality changes.....my experience is that the meds have simply made me ME again, only better.