[laur88]

So I went off my meds (lamictal and adderall) this summer. Bad decision. I didn't consult my psychiatrist nor did I tell my parents what I was doing. And I was fine... for maybe a month. Then I started to get increasingly irritable, tired, anxious. I mean, my family went on this incredible trip to Norway (I'm talking once in a lifetime type trip) and most of the time I just felt tired and irritable. And now I've been back in school for about a month and I just feel... drained, depression, anxious basically all the time and so irritated at everyone. I seriously hate everyone. They annoy me in so many ways. And that's just not me. I normally love people and find them amusing and interesting but right now... I could seriously bite some people's heads off!! I hate myself right now. I hate feeling like this because I know that this is not ME. I'm not the type of person to hole herself up in her apartment all day in order to avoid seeing people. I'm not the kind of person who can't even close to productive because of exhausting and mind-numbing anxiety. It just stinks.

I'm going to my psychiatrist on Monday and I'm anxious about that because I think he's going to be angry that I went off my meds without telling him. And I know it was a stupid thing to do... I just wanted to be absolutely sure that what I was taking was helping, I guess. The idea of taking meds for the rest of my life is just something that I really struggle with. If only there was a blood test that would give a clear diagnosis for all this stuff!!

Anywaysss I just needed to vent because I'm tired of feeling like I'm on the brink of imploding. I'm tired of feeling like crying/crying at the drop of a hat because I'm so anxious and lonely and angry all at the same time. And I'm tired of the physical and mental exhaustion I've felt all day every day for the past month. So I just need to make it to Monday at 3:15. 5 days, 11 classes, two tests, and one french essay stand between me and that appointment and I'm gonna try my darndest to get through them unscathed. Now I'm gonna take an ambien and hope that it will shut my anxious mind up for the night.

[WhiteCruelty]

You have seen that not taking meds was so bad for you but have you thought if you were same before taking them? It could be meds do changing your personality before and after. I dont like meds so much but i think in some cases it is very neccesary.

How long did you lead with them? Why? How old are you?
Taking meds if you are a teenarger/young seems me a crazyness.

In these times doctors sometimes order taking enough meds and sometimes it is not as neccesary as it seems. Some Illness diagnosed without really evidences.. it usually happens with atention deficit in kids,depression and bipolar disorders as well. Prozac nation, have you heard?

I dont know how heavy it is your case but if you are young you could try anti-stress techniques. But i go to say you something, although your doctor is going to be angry, i believe you did well went off your meds for a time. Sometimes it is good checking the effects what we take.

A person I met took many pills for stress, lots of them, and had very swollen her legs, she doesnt need such pills so she began to take less. Doctors are not always right.

Hugs.

[sugahorse1]

Stopping meds is hard!
Please work on this with your psych if you really feel you want to, because the withdrawals can be terrible.
Can you not get in to see your pdoc earlier? It kind of is an emergency, as you need to get stable again

[Trippin2.0]

Glad you atleast gave it a go. But as mentioned above, do compare symptoms before, during and after meds for a clearer picture. I started cycling like crazy when I started meds, and it only slowed back down to 'normal' after withdrawls were over... Coincidence? I think not. I refuse to be medicated unless I have a full-blown manic episode that renders me dangerous or useless. Which is impossible unless I 'progress' from bp2 to bp1, which is quite unlikely from this angle... hope you feel better soon

[hamster-bamster]

A good doctor would not be angry. If you doctor gets angry, look for a better one.

[WhiteCruelty]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

A good doctor would not be angry. If you doctor gets angry, look for a better one.

Some doctors are unpleasant and arrogant. Some. I said.

[Seaswept]

Be honest with your doctor when you go and...don't think about it as 5 days 11 classes etc. until Monday, just try to make it thru each day. You made it through today. When you wake up tomorrow you could say - I just need to make it through today... don't think about the next day. That's what helps me anyway.

[Seaswept]

Originally Posted by WhiteCruelty

Some doctors are unpleasant and arrogant. Some. I said.

My last doctor who I only saw for 1 year was an arrogant bastard.
That is why I fired him.

My 1st Dr. was awesome but he closed his private practice and is only doing hospital work now.

[cocoabeans]

It takes time to adjust to being off medication just like it takes time to adjust to them. Lots of ******* time.

[Cape Cod]

Simply put...lots of illnesses require meds every day for the rest of our lives. If you are diagnosed with a disease and meds are prescribed, your doctor should always be involved when you have concerns about whether to stop taking them.
Don't worry about your doctors reaction...just take care of yourself and be honest with your doctor.

Remember you are strong minute by minute...don't worry about the next hour or the next day until it is upon you and you will make it through!

Take care!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Seaswept

My last doctor who I only saw for 1 year was an arrogant bastard.
That is why I fired him.

My 1st Dr. was awesome but he closed his private practice and is only doing hospital work now.

He probably got tired of dealing with the insurance.

[Seaswept]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

He probably got tired of dealing with the insurance.

You are probably right Hamster.

I miss him though, sometimes I feel like calling up the hospital and saying just keep me as your patient lol.

[laur88]

Thank to you all for the support. I'm taking it day by day (good suggestion, Seaswept!) and I got through one of my tests today so some of my anxiety has been alleviated a little. It's really wild how such small stressors cause such huge havoc on my emotional and physical being. I just don't cope well sometimes and now happens to be one of them. Inconvenient? Very.
I'm thinking that I'll probably have to go back on my meds. I mean, I've been off of them for a solid three months and clearly something is not working. I was at a good place emotionally when I stopped taking them and I had been on them for about two years so I figured it was a good try to try going without them. Alas. It seems that they benefitted me a lot more than I thought they did...
We'll see what happens on Monday. I will certainly have a lot to talk with my doctor! I still can't help but feel anxious about it (among many other things) but it's not because my doctor is a bad doctor. I just... I don't know... I suppose I hate admitting defeat? Or that I made a mistake? And I have an irrational fear of what his reaction will be... I honestly can't explain why I feel the way I do when it comes to most of my anxieties. They just are what they are.
Good night everyone!