[Happy Camper]

I've been looking for an active bipolar forum for a while now. I mostly use psychforums, but their forum gets only a few posts a day.

Anyways, I'm diagnosed Bipolar 1, doing relatively ok at the moment. I really just want to talk to people that have this disorder.

For a few weeks now, I've been feeling a little hypomanic...It's 4:23am now and most nights I'm awake until almost 5/6am and sleep until noon.

I was only just diagnosed earlier this year, around March, but I have a long history of depression, and clear bipolar symptoms starting around age 17, but possibly as far back as age 8. Luckily, I graduated high school last june on schedule, considering I missed 2 years of it due to my illness.

It started as a severe depression that lasted about 18 months, followed by a few months of normalcy, then a hypomanic episode where I went to get treated at a hospital for insomnia, but had mentioned the mood swings and was given Risperidone. A few days after taking it, I began cycling between mania and depression at least 2 times a day for a few weeks. I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt and subsequentially diagnosed bipolar nos. A few weeks after my discharge, I was seeing a therapist that told me to decide on a goal to work on. Since I express my thoughts better in writing, before the next time I saw her, I stayed up a few days and wrote a 12,000 word essay (30 pages in small font), and gave it to her the next time I saw her. She looked at me like I was psychotic and had me go to the ER. I waited there for 4 hours to be seen, and was treated for tachycardia and dehydration, then admitted to their mental health inpatient wing for the next 12 days. I was a little too honest with the person who evaluated me, as they said my hospitalization would be involuntary if I didn't volunteer (how exactly is that voluntary?)

It was there that they determined I was actually in a mixed state, and was diagnosed Bipolar 1 since the current DSM doesn't allow for it in other forms.

I tried a handful of different medications but couldn't tolerate any of them...lithium, serequel, risperidone, geodon, depakote, and I've taken plenty of SSRIs before the bipolar diagnosis without any results, good or bad (may as well have been taking sugar pills).

The psychiatrist I was seeing outside the hospital afterwards wasn't sold on the bipolar diagnosis, and the last time I saw him, he said I don't need to be on anything since I seemed to be doing fine (by what I reported to him).

I'm currently not taking anything, and I feel like I'm going manic. Not in the "out of control sense", just in the "not sleeping or taking care of myself" way.

I'm about 95% sure it was the risperidone that caused my initial mania and depression ultra-rapid cycling. I had a huge number of side effects on it, and I felt very unwell until it was completely out of my system. The other meds also had their fair share of side effects, but can't even compare to how bad the risperidone was for me.

I really don't want to go on meds since I feel I can manage and am better off without them. The fact that I've yet to experience any benefit at all from every psychiatric drug I've tried to date is also discouraging.

Just had to get this off my chest. Looking forward to using this forum.

[treehugger727]

Originally Posted by Happy Camper

I've been looking for an active bipolar forum for a while now. I mostly use psychforums, but their forum gets only a few posts a day.

Anyways, I'm diagnosed Bipolar 1, doing relatively ok at the moment. I really just want to talk to people that have this disorder.

For a few weeks now, I've been feeling a little hypomanic...It's 4:23am now and most nights I'm awake until almost 5/6am and sleep until noon.

I was only just diagnosed earlier this year, around March, but I have a long history of depression, and clear bipolar symptoms starting around age 17, but possibly as far back as age 8. Luckily, I graduated high school last june on schedule, considering I missed 2 years of it due to my illness.

It started as a severe depression that lasted about 18 months, followed by a few months of normalcy, then a hypomanic episode where I went to get treated at a hospital for insomnia, but had mentioned the mood swings and was given Risperidone. A few days after taking it, I began cycling between mania and depression at least 2 times a day for a few weeks. I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt and subsequentially diagnosed bipolar nos. A few weeks after my discharge, I was seeing a therapist that told me to decide on a goal to work on. Since I express my thoughts better in writing, before the next time I saw her, I stayed up a few days and wrote a 12,000 word essay (30 pages in small font), and gave it to her the next time I saw her. She looked at me like I was psychotic and had me go to the ER. I waited there for 4 hours to be seen, and was treated for tachycardia and dehydration, then admitted to their mental health inpatient wing for the next 12 days. I was a little too honest with the person who evaluated me, as they said my hospitalization would be involuntary if I didn't volunteer (how exactly is that voluntary?)

It was there that they determined I was actually in a mixed state, and was diagnosed Bipolar 1 since the current DSM doesn't allow for it in other forms.

I tried a handful of different medications but couldn't tolerate any of them...lithium, serequel, risperidone, geodon, depakote, and I've taken plenty of SSRIs before the bipolar diagnosis without any results, good or bad (may as well have been taking sugar pills).

The psychiatrist I was seeing outside the hospital afterwards wasn't sold on the bipolar diagnosis, and the last time I saw him, he said I don't need to be on anything since I seemed to be doing fine (by what I reported to him).

I'm currently not taking anything, and I feel like I'm going manic. Not in the "out of control sense", just in the "not sleeping or taking care of myself" way.

I'm about 95% sure it was the risperidone that caused my initial mania and depression ultra-rapid cycling. I had a huge number of side effects on it, and I felt very unwell until it was completely out of my system. The other meds also had their fair share of side effects, but can't even compare to how bad the risperidone was for me.

I really don't want to go on meds since I feel I can manage and am better off without them. The fact that I've yet to experience any benefit at all from every psychiatric drug I've tried to date is also discouraging.

Just had to get this off my chest. Looking forward to using this forum.

Hi!

That's what we are all here for. A little support and fellowship is definitely present here on these boards. I may recommend checking out the Mindful meditation group, the BP support group, and possibly the forum about other treatment methods. There are some things one can do to control some of their symptoms.

Keep posting and hopefully you can get some support here. Best of luck

[Clinte89]

You will like it here I'm sure, all nice people and very supportive. It sounds like you've been through a lot and sorry that meds have not helped but as long as you can handle it well on your own then go for it. I envy that.

[BlueInanna]

hi, welcome

Glad to have you on the forum. Take care of yourself well.

Genetic

[Victoria'smom]

Welcome. We have people here that take medication and people that do not take medication. So you won't be judged either way. You seemed a bit worried about that.

[hamster-bamster]

Your username is refreshingly happy!

[moremi]

Welcome Happy Camper, you will find lots of support and information here. Be well.

[Trippin2.0]

to the bipolar express Happy! This is a great place to share as there are always other passengers onboard this roll ercoaster of ours! I'm sure you'll love it here

[BipolaRNurse]

Hello, and welcome!! I'm pretty sure you'll find what you're looking for, as this is a very active forum with a lot of different takes on this illness, from all walks of life. Some members are young and have been diagnosed for years already, while others (like me) are much older, but relatively new to this diagnosis. We come from all over the world, and just down the street. What unites us is our common enemy, bipolar disorder, and because of that we have access to a wealth of knowledge, coping skills, and helpful hints from the true experts---other people with BP.

Once again, welcome, and enjoy!

welcome to our family... good to have you along!.

[bluemountains]

Welcome Happy Camper,
I'm glad you are joining us. We all are related in some way with bp, whether it be us or someone we are close to, and there is judgement here, just lots of support. Sometimes, there are some good laughs and great inspiration, too!
Bluemountains

[BNLsMOM]

Welcome happy Camper! I have found tons of support here, and I hope I can offer you the support I have seen. I have had a similar journey with meds, but I am on a better path now with my treatment. I have ECT treatments every 3 weeks and take a med combo that has had me stable since July. I am having a little trouble now, but I think it is a combo of the season and some crap going on in my life. What I do have now is insight and that certainly helps. It sounds like you have quite a bit of insight as well. Anyway, welcome!