Memory/associations in a changing brain

I've been diagnosed with bipolar type ii about 18 months ago, previously diagnosed with unipolar depression, all kinds of meds for both, pretty much typical bipy background. I've been off medications for about a year now (except diazepam 10mg 1-3 times a week, depending on anxiety level and tremors/muscle pain)
I take a multi-vitamin most days and yes, I've heard about Omega-3 fatty acids. I smoke a fair amount of pot and am known to drink, but I've cut back on drinking by a loooot (went from 3-8 drinks per day to 3-6 drinks 2x week) and to a lesser extent i've cut back on pot. I should see cognitive improvement rather than poop, but I'm getting poop. My cognitive performance seemed to be better when I was drinking daily, which makes no sense whatsoever.
My bipolar is getting agitated lately and the water is getting quite choppy in my sea of moods, but that isn't what's been bothering me lately.
I've always been bright ("gifted" was the public schooling term) but I feel like i'm losing my mental... can't think of the word for it, perfect example... "potential" I suppose. my memory is poop. I can never win a debate, for my opponent can discredit me simply by saying, "what was it you just said?" resulting in a pause and failure to recollect. I'm 18 years old and I understand my brain is still developing, but sometimes I feel like a future dementia patient! Also I have problems with balance alot, I find I have to do a lot of footwork to keep myself from keeling over when I'm just roaming my house and such (I look like a doofus but never have actually fallen or anything, it's like a momentum issue.) Depression has been draining my creativity lately, maybe there is a connection to other brain functions? My primary reason for posting this is fear of course, I have heard bipolar meds interfering with memory, that was partially why I got off of them. On the other hand, I feel my memories can be retrieved through emotions rather than trying to recall (a wave of depression brings up many obscure memories long forgotten Where is my mind and why isn't it here? Maybe there's something else at work here other than bp ii. experiences and opinions welcome.

Have you asked your psychiatrist about the possibility of permitting you to have an
MRI of your brain? That will reveal any physiological reasons for your stumbling around the house and possibly eliminate any worry regarding that.

Secondly, you need to stop drinking alcohol. Period. Alcohol makes bipolar illness worse. In addition, it is a depressant, and it kills brain cells. I don't know about you, but I need every one I've got.

And, finally, you need to be on a psychotropic medication of some type that will stabilize your moods. You may not need a heavy dose, just enough to take the edge off your feelings.

Without medication, bipolar illness becomes worse and life span is shortened.

I know that this sounds blunt, but you can't afford to play games with this illness.
It can be serious, but it can also be treated, and you may find that you will live a
constructive and content, if not happy, life ahead.

I hope you will pay attention to this and take action. At eighteen one tends not to be too alert to the need to care for the future, but you are a smart young man who needs to give himself a real chance in life.

Take care.

Genetic

Thanks for the quick post, I have a way of being overlooked on forums.
I suppose the only reason I justify drinking these days is it's similarity to benzos. Alcohol treats my anxiety and tremors just as well as a benzo, and I am very afraid of benzo addiction (irreversable brain damage is common in longterm use, even more so than alcohol.) so I kind of switch between the two to stay afloat without any daily use. An incompetent Pdoc once told me marijuana was just as bad as alcohol for bipolar, but there is no evidence. To be clear, alcohol in particular is a drug that increases the severity of bipolar episodes? what about other drugs? (antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, psychedelics, benzos, opiates, ) It just seems like alcohol= bad for bipolar must mean diazepam = bad for bipolar because they act on similar receptors?

___________________________________________
All medications are acidic in reaction. They all have an acid residue or ash. Individual sensitivity to medications is a very personal biochemical reaction.

Alcoholism is the same in one sense. Some people are alcoholic, some are not. To use alcohol to fight symptoms of bipolar illness is like adding gasoline to a fire. And I did mention that it kills brain cells. I have not seen information that would lead me to believe that all psychotropic medications kill brain cells. Some are not tolerated by bipolar patients; that's for certain.

The best chances for healthy living with bipolar illness are effective changes in the diet, exercise, meditation, using the least effective dosage of medication prescribed (if your system can tolerate it) and having a spiritual foundation supporting one. Having a good support system is helpful and healthy,too.

That's the best I can say about this for you as an eighteen year old.

You've got to come to some conclusions about what you want if you
want to live a healthy life.

At one time it was believed that marijuana could affect DNA replication and could affect one's offspring years later. I don't know if that is true, but time
will tell where in the body and how in the mind marijuana has its consequences--just as smoking cigarettes was revealed in 1963 by the Attorney General's Report which made me give up cigarettes.

Good wishes,

Genetic

Not being on psych meds can cause moods to fluctuate. Moods flucuating, it can be harder for you to remember and be as quick mentally. If the bipolar is controlled with the appropriate meds, then this usually decreases. If a psych med makes you loopy or you can't think, you need to tell your pdoc about it so you can look into a different med. Alcohol use is HORRIBLE for bipolar as any other mood altering drug INCLUDING POT. Pot has a similar affect as alcohol and benzos. Mix all three together and you can be looking at an accidental overdose. All in all not good.

Ah, i see. do you have any personal experience with alcohol affecting your bipolar? I'm getting a "zero tolerance for drugs" kind of vibe here, so I presume you are unmedicated. How do you deal with anxiety and depression? you seem to be a spiritual person so, faith? (this is directed at genetic)

Your cognitive ability seemed better with alcohol in your system because that's what your system was used to. it can take some time even after withdrawals to get your brain used to being without the alcohol.

my ex was just explaining what the alcohol does in the brain. he is trying to quit, and is the worst alcoholic i've ever known.

avoid the alcohol if you can, and get stuff checked out by a doc. hope you're ok. my memory has gotten worse, i think it's age for me, idk.

Antipsychotics are mood altering drugs... also I have read about and spoken to many people who recieve a benzo to cope with bp so what's up with that? it's all very confusing, and I'm not one to trust a drug that is advertised all over a pdoc's office, it seems like a marketing thing to me, like the pharmaceutical companies could pay a pdoc to recommend their product over others that may be more appropriate or safer.

Thanks for the reply, Blue. It is your posts that have inspired me to choose psychcentral as my "online support group"

No, I'm not an alcoholic; I have been given alcohol on occasion by so-called friends and did not respond to it well and didn't like the after-effects.

If you want to know what pushed me into lifestyle changes, read an article by Ruth Whalen called "Caffeine Allergy". It's posted on the website http://DoctorYourself.com Go down the column on the left-hand side until you see the article "caffeine allergy". Ms. Whalen has the most comprehensive knowledge about how a chemical can affect the brain of those sensitive to caffeine (IMHO).

If caffeine can do that, bipolar illness may be, in part, a cerebral allergy. I've removed caffeine from my diet along with tea (containing it in some brands, though tea is more noted for theophylline than caffeine) and made some changes in my diet, moving more to an alkaline diet than one that leaves an acidic ash. Two websites http://alkalinefoods.com and http://acid-reactingfoods.com are helpful for you to learn which foods are best for your system.

Yes, I have a strong religious faith that sustains my emotional balance, along with a small dosage (10mg) of an antidepressant and a food medication called "Deplin" (a concentrated form of Vitamin B9, folic acid).

70% of depressed persons are lacking (genetically) in the enzymes that metabolize folic acid into folate which can cross the blood-brain barrier. Folate acts to increase the serotonin and dopamine neurotransmitters and is a miracle drug (almost) for anyone who cannot metabolize folic acid properly. Only genetic testing can determine that, but my doctor prescribed it without genetic testing on the assumption that, if it worked, I had probably inherited an inability to assimilate folic acid correctly. It worked!

That's how I do it, Thought bubble.

Now it's your turn to do some investigating for your health and happiness.

Best wishes,

Genetic

Deplin seems worth looking into, never heard of it. As for tea, You had no way of knowing I was a "tea fiend" so I will overlook your anti-tea agenda. For me, giving up tea would be giving up a passion that I've considered to be healthy. Faith... I have a hard time believing in deities, for faith has always eluded me, but i find spirituality ("faith" in the truths we can observe) is a new friend to guide me in dark times.

Oh and I don't think I called you "alcoholic", genetic. I asked you if you had had experience with the relationship between alcohol and bi-polar. alcoholic is a term that few take lightly.

No, you didn't suggest that I was an alcoholic; I pointed out that I am not because some people outside the forum who read these posts will think everything in the world about anything they wish to think, so it's important to try to keep clarity as much as possible.

I would add only one point: foods, beverages, etc. that we are addicted to are often the ones that we are allergic to. (This from an allergist who talked to me about wheat and corn, among other things.)

Tea does have some benefits, and who knows whether they offset the injury the caffeine can cause to tissues and organs of the body? I like it, too, but have it only on rare occasions, because not having had it for so long makes me acutely aware of how harmful it is for me emotionally--I get a bit irritable and edgy with one glass of tea.

Take care of yourself.

Genetic

True, psych meds are mood altering drugs. The difference is that with illicit drugs you cannot be positive what they are cut with. True, benzos are fine. It is just a precaution for you that when you add alcohol and pot with the benzo, it possibly could depress your respiratory system so much that you go to sleep and don't wake up. I do agree that some pdocs just prescribe whatever new thing is offered. If that is the case for you, hopefully you can get a different pdoc. I had to search for mine for a long time. Hope my reply didn't sound too judgmental. I truly did not mean it that way. Wishing you the best.

I have personally found a lot of websites saying their may be medical uses for marijuana treating bipolar. I have used pot in the past but not currently using it. Best advice is talk to ya doc.

Meds:
Lithium Carb 300 mg 2 at breakfast 2 at dinner 1 at bedtime
Busiprone hcl 10 mg twice a day
Effexor hcl 75 mg twice a day
Seroquel 300 mg at bedtime

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Thanks guys. Lauru I wasn't really offended or anything but I do have anxiety about being judged by others, so I do appreciate the clarification, and I understand the point you were trying to make. Thanks derek, just out of curiosity, do you have a link to a website or article about marijuana/bp?

Oh, and, if anyone's curious, I'm taking a few days off of benzos AND alcohol, it's good so far (day 3) no cravings or anything just a little antsy and muscle pain i'll be fine with some chamomile tea . I'll see how I feel cognitively in a few days and work from there.

For anxiety, try cardiovascular exercise. Works better than benzos for me. I've recently tried low dose of THC in capsules and it did not affect my mood at all (no high either - just absolutely no effect whatsoever). There is no conclusive evidence about potential effects of pot on bipolar - too many confounding factors at play. But at 18, you ought to get serious about exercise. You owe it to yourself. It will help you no matter what drugs your use or do not use. Exercise will also improve your memory - see http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/0...og-the-memory/

http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07...nts/15496.html

There's much more just google it

Meds:
Lithium Carb 300 mg 2 at breakfast 2 at dinner 1 at bedtime
Busiprone hcl 10 mg twice a day
Effexor hcl 75 mg twice a day
Seroquel 300 mg at bedtime

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I drink naturally decaffeinated tea all day long and am absolutely stable day in and day out. The reason I drink decaf tea? I also have 2-3 cups of coffee a day. Before I started on coffee, I drank regular tea in the morning and perhaps 1-2 more times a day, and decaf for the balance. Life without tea would be boring, being well-hydrated is absolutely key for the prevention of headaches (I need that badly), plus tea provides antioxidant benefits. I also drink I Love Lemon and Cranberry/Apple and sometimes chamomile "teas", for variety. During exercise, I drink Vitalyte (an electrolyte solution); post-exercise, I drink chocolate milk. So decaf tea probably constitutes no more than half of my fluid intake for a day, but even that is a lot.

One thing for sure is the brain is a muscle and you gotta exercise it regularly. Read, research , and push yourself and you will find a difference.

Meds:
Lithium Carb 300 mg 2 at breakfast 2 at dinner 1 at bedtime
Busiprone hcl 10 mg twice a day
Effexor hcl 75 mg twice a day
Seroquel 300 mg at bedtime

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It has been established though that physical exercise is key for prevention of Alzheimer's etc. Just doing what seems to be an exercise for the brain is not sufficient - you have to get physical. Luckily, it is easy to do - simple walking qualifies. Walking for 45 minutes a day makes a difference in how well the brain functions.