I can't do this

It's getting the better of me.
Ive woken to my other half - he consequently slept in the lounge.
I am lonely - I can't do this. I can talk openly to someone I care and get treated like this.
Aaaaaaaaaaa

Suga,

I am sorry that happened. You shouldn't get treated like that for talking and being open.

I know that kinda thing hurts a lot. I know loneliness hurts, and when you are not alone and lonely still.. hurts bad.

i wish I had something better to say. I get it tho. And I am sorry that you are having a rough go right now.

Thank you Anika - I don't expect anyone here to have a simple solution

It's never simple. Nope, when do you start your therapy Suga?

I go back on Thurs - 30 or so hours to go; juts have to survive and be safe til then

Yes, keep yourself safe, first and foremost! I hope the therapy will help you break through this.

Klonopin ans Ativan have been lifesavers

I just want to be normal again

You can get back to being you, I think Suga. I know I don't always have popular approach to mental illness around here. But I do believe we can get back to being ourselves. I think your therapy will help you a lot, if you can be open with your T.

Sometimes we just have to find a few stands of hope to climb with. But it's hard to find them when there is no break in the pain. I hope therapy can help you find that again.

Hang in there suga. You have gotten through tough times this is just another one of those that will pass before you know it. Just hang in there. Were cheering you on.

Thank you too x

Thinking of you Jacky I know how aweful it is to be in a relationship,& still feeling alone in the world would your bf be open to attending a session with you in the future? I know he's not interested in bp education, but he could atleast try to understand what his lack of support does to you... I'm really sorry,I dont have any words of wisdom that you'd be open to receiving, you know my stance on partners who refuse to play their part, and I hear why you choose to stay,thinking of you my friend

Thanks Ophelia - I just need some IRL support.
My bf has too much stress of his own and we can't really help each other at present

How u doing today?

Better - thanks

Glad you are feeling better today, suga!

Sooo hear you on the BF being totally stressed, them being there but not there and needing some IRL. Describes the situation here too. It's no fun.

So it's Thursday now (here at least, and I think you are ahead of us by a number of hours). How did your appointment go?

Hope your appointment went well and things are better.

IRL support can be hard. Been there, done that.

IRL support hardly exists. My sui thoughts have just about gone, and I think I have faith in this T. I just have no energy @ the moment

dealing with the suicide thinking is exhausting

...like seriously exhausting

the sleep that follows can be like angels in bed with you!

I sure hope you get a beautiful rest soon suga...

Yeah, it is hard work. And I am very grouchy at the moment.
I felt safe yesterday; for once I just didn't want to leave.

...no way not grouchy sweetheart!.....what the?

and where to run to when our feet are faster than our hearts?

....we catch back up and go oooooh!....ummm?

yeah I'm upset

I can't do this

"this" is gonna be done anyway....

so we can do "that" instead....

whatever that is....it's gotta be better than this.....it's called "hope"...I hope so

lv, dm

Thank you

you are welcome