[Jaytee]

Hi everyone,

My husband had suicidal thoughts two nights ago and I got home within seconds of him acting on it. I took him to the ER and they then sent him to an inpatient facility. He has since been diagnosed as bipolar and I am very worried about him.

I guess I am here to understand how he is feeling, and hoping to get advice or support on what to do when I visit him, and also when he gets out.

This actually came as a surprise to me, I did not see it coming. I thought we were happy and in love. He still tells me that he loves me but he is stuck in a loop that he can't get out of. I knew he had depression, but I didn't think it was this bad.

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated, and if you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will try to explain further. I am just really scared, worried and confused....

[BlueInanna]

I know how weird and scary it is to first find out. But there is hope and a lot of help out there. Please try not to think of it as your fault or that he loves you any less. Our minds just seem to trip out sometimes.

I suggest you try not to get him to "explain himself". Cuz sometimes we don't know why we're doing it. Just be there for him, remind him it's gonna be ok (because it is, because you believe in him, because you love him).

I hope the visit goes well. Try to get some therapy for yourself. He has much to process and might make it harder for him if he's worrying about how bad he's hurt you right now. Maybe save that topic for couples therapy. The trapped up well of emotions turns into this self hatred and we feel guilty for everything.

anyway, just some ideas, ask us anything you want.

[Travelinglady]

Welcome! Sorry to hear your husband has BP. Both my husband and I have it, of all things.

There are books available for people dealing with folks who are bipolar. I suggest you head to a big bookstore or look them up on the Internet. See the list on the "sticky" in this forum, too!

Best wishes--and keep in touch!

[Jaytee]

Thanks for your replies, BlueInanna and Payne. I really appreciate it.

Blue, you are correct. He is worrying about how much he is hurting me right now, and is not sure whether or not he wants me to visit. I know I should not take it personally and that it's not that he loves me any less, but it still hurts a lot. I just want to see him and touch him and know that he is ok..

I am currently waiting for him to call and tell me if he wants me to visit tonight. The waiting is the hardest part...

I have so many questions, but I don't know where to start. He is the love of my life and we have been together for 10 years. I will do anything to help him and am afraid of saying or doing anything that will hurt his healing/recovery..

If anyone has any anecdotal experience about having visitors while in the hospital, did it help you or hurt you?

[~Christina]

Welcome to Pc Jaytee

Sorry you are going through all this. You will get lots of help and support here.

I have been in patient numerous times. Sometimes I wanted my husband to visit and other times I didn't. It really had nothing to do with him it was ME and what I was going through. I had a lot of guilt to deal with. So dont take it personal if "right now" he doesnt want you to visit. Inpatient can be exhausting for the patient.

Everyone is different. While he is inpatient, Make sure YOU get rest and take care of yourself.

Post all you want and need too