[Debi54]

So I saw my doctor yesterday, thank God, and he seems to think the way I feel right now is normal. I can't remember a doctor ever telling me that. He started the session out by asking his usual, "How're you doing?", to which I answered, "I don't know." Which is the truth. I don't know. I have had stress and drama in my life for so long, and felt anxious and stressed out for so long, that now that all I'm worried about is money, like a "normal' person, I'm not sure how I feel. He said it's because it's I haven't experienced it in a long time. I said probably ever. He took my drawing again as a really good sign, said that in some degree that I felt safe again. I don't see how. I'm i danger of losing everything, but maybe that really hasn't sunk in yet. I know I only have about 10 days left to do something about it, but somehow I'm not freaked out yet like I normally would be. Usually there is someone here to help fix it, but even when I had people here, no one helped fix it, they were just making it worse, so maybe that's why I feel better. And I don't have anyone watching me. I'm not by nature a paranoid person, but having my daughter and everyone around was making me that way. I am happy to have rediscovered my art, and I feel better having gotten my Diazepam filled. At least now when I go to the post office this morning and get my bills and it all becomes a reality to me, maybe I won't freak out so bad and can figure out what to do. I wouldn't worry so much if I didn't still have a child at home, but I do. Even tho he is 16, he is not adult at all, and I have to take care of him. It's funny, when I was younger, it seemed like I could handle anything that came up. I might freak out over it,but I handled it. Now is the first time in my life where I just don't seem to know what to do. I'm ready to just pack my stuff and go to FL, but my dad wants me to wait till my son gets out of school, and once I've made up my mind to do something, I want to just do it. Now I can't, and it's making me crazy. I don't know if I can hold out that long.

[thickntired]

Hi Debi,

What I started doing is writing down what I want to address my Doctor with - keeping it short & to the point. I get tougue tied sometimes and forget that WE hiried the doctor WE are paying for the service and WE deserve to have our problems addressed without feeling like your putting someone out. Some physicians are condencsending and dismissive.

Peace & Hugs,

TnT

[faerie_moon_x]

Sometimes feeling a certain way is normal. But if you need your doctor to really see your lows and highs and triggers/symptoms, it's best to keep a mood tracker. Because sometimes it is hard to articulate how you felt two months ago vs. yesterday and today. And you will appear different in different cycles.

I recommend optimism online for the tracker. It's totally free and you can customize it to what suits you best.