Damn - it never gets easy *Trigger*

I have been battling.
Feeling needy
Having those thoughts
Feeling lonely and pointless
Just wanting to sleep
Not wanting to carry o
Crying (for the first time in months)
Making drastic decisions

I just want this to end!!!

I know it sounds cliche but hang in there the good days are just around the bend. It's always darkest before the dawn. They are cliche but so true.

I love Mark Twain! I also hate the muck and mire of depression, like thick, deep mud that tries to suck you down with each difficult and exhausting step. I am sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I know those feelings all to well. Did something happen, that you're aware of, to trigger this depression? Usually there is a trigger somewhere. Not always, but usually. Give it some thought. Sometimes, I discover something that seemed benign at first, has really dragged me down and putting my finger on it helps me a lot. I hope you get through this soon!

No, this is not a good space to be in

Hey Suga!!

Awww I am sorry you are feeling like this. Is there anythign you can do to take your mind off of everything?

I'm going to go to sleep. It's night time here. 11 PM but I feel wide awake. I know I need the sleep else I won't cope at work. And while I'm sleeping I hopefully can have a break from those thoughts. They're always lingering. Yesterday I even wanted to Google it. It's absurd!

Hmmm that is defo not good. Have a good night's sleep and see how you feel tomorrow. I hope you feel better.... keep us posted ok!

, Suga! I feel you so much. Since Beans was burned I have felt like throwing in the towel so badly but I am so grateful I found this group and you all encouraged e to go to a P dr bc if I didnt have the meds and support right now I know I would not be functional atm.

Hi suga -- really sorry you are in such a dreadful place mentally. You had started going back to see a therapist. Are you still having appointments? Either way, please give them a call, ok?

Suga, I am sorry your in that ugly place .. If you can get into see your therapist.

I do still see my T weekly. Will prob go see a new pdoc in a month, but in the mean time I'm on my same old meds.
Let's get through this day

(((((Suga))))) Hope you feel better soon!

Thank you so much

I want to climb into my bed. Hardly slept. Couldn't fall asleep. Then had nightmares. Major anxiety. Heart racing. Head racing...

Back on Klonopin. It works for me. Not sure how healthy it is. My T will be upset with me. But I don't want to feel things anymore

Call your T. You know it means inpatient but you need relief.

Suga I'm in the same boat as you. In fact, I think we are sharing a paddle. Sorry your having a tough time, if you're struggling the way I am, which it kinda sounds like you are, I truly hate it for you. No one should have to feel this crummy over living. Anywho, I'm thinking of you and if you need some one to talk to or just to listen, I'm always available.

Hope things get better your way soon!

Thanks Butterfly.
Miguel - I have a session with my T today. I'm just not moving forwards. Even send me bf a snotty message right now, because when I started trying to talk to him last night, he just steam-rolled me.
I don't want to fight with him any more, nut I can't do this alone anymore. And I'll run out of Klonopin

I am finished. I can't do this any more

You can.

And I know you probably know this yourself... but the excesive use of benzos is not good for you. They are downers. They are not gonna make you feel good on long term... and you are accumulating problems by this behaviour.

You need to get out of this rut... and do whatever it takes to get out of there.

Do you have a good relationship with your boyfriend? Unhappy relationships can cause a lot of stress.

No, right now the relationship is rocky too

I hear ya there