[Miss Laura]

Hey guys,

Me again!!

Pretty much as the title says been a complete idiot and have been off them for over 2 weeks. I feel quite manicy today and I have been eating like a horse tonight. I told my Support Worker this afternoon and she said she could tell by my eyes... I am intrigued by this theory lol!! She said I seemed ok on Tuesday when we were Swimming and I said ye I am good at hiding it huh!! She has said I have to go back on them. Ironic thing is I just saw the Psychiatrist on Tuesday and I never told him. I just couldn't. I am seeing my CPN on Tuesday and I am dreading telling him that yet again I have came off them and have let everyone down who cares for and about me. I wish I could stay on them but I find it so hard and no matter how many times I come off them I always say this is it I am back on for good..... that doesn't last long!!

I feel dead but alive.... I feel like my head is whizzing but my heart is dead. Pah!

[hamster-bamster]

You SWIM with your support worker, seriously?

[Miss Laura]

Lol!! Yes we go swimming with a few other's once a week. The Support Worker's also take us to any activity we would like to do. I use to play Badminton and go to Tai CHi with them too I now fly solo at the Badminton have done for over 6 months since my anxieties lowered the more I got into it

[hamster-bamster]

I plan to start playing Badminton this winter. I look forward to it! Americans as a rule do NOT play badminton, but I live in an area densely populated by Chinese people who do hence there is a community center with badminton lessons.

[Miss Laura]

I absolutely LOVE Badminton...... I am so glad I started attending it. I even bought my own racquet. Where I play its a local Community Centre and they supply the equipment. However there are a few guys who play who are pro's they play in the divsion and they have been teaching me...... 1 said I should buy my own racquet so I did and another said I should come along and play on a Wednesday night..... the pro's play here!!! I was gobsmacked..... would love to but where they play is too far and it gets dark here at 3-4pm so I will wait until the lighter nights come next year

[Livebythesea]

I used to love badminton and even have a set for the backyard that I got a yard sale. I used to play tennis since that's the closet thing in my area but no one I know is at my level...not very good but I can at least hit the ball each time.

[NDNOutlaw]

Geez that's a rough ride dropping your meds. Usually if you must cut med it goes down to half one week then down to a quarter the next week before it gets dropped. It'll take you up down and sideways

[Miss Laura]

Hey guys,

I re-started this morning. I feel absolutely crap! I have had a stinker of a headache 24/7 for the past week. Tonight I am at a Family party so I decided I wouldn't take me meds until Sunday morning. Well I decided this morning I needed them. I have been so stupid coming off them. Why do I do this to myself. The last time I came off my meds was end of September and went back on them mid October. I can't keep doing this!!

[sugahorse1]

Miss Laura - it's going to be a roll- coaster getting back on the mess, but pls try stick it out

[hamster-bamster]

Miss Laura,

If you have the self-discipline to attend swimming and badminton sessions regularly without fail, you can take medications regularly as well.

[canacrip]

My wife says the same thing about the eyes! I met a nurse last time I was in the hospital who said the same thing. She said that when she asked how I was doing, she already knew, she just wanted to see if I was willing to discuss it. Wear sunglasses!