...knowing who you are and knowing who you not are...

we asked

we did

I wish I knew?

nobody knows who they are!

they just make out

I'm learning what I'm not, but it's what I am that is the problem.

I'm really bad Dan....right now
I dont know what to do
can you help me

Yes.

What are you struggling with today?

Of course! yes I will try to help. are you struggling with the past?

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

Of course! yes I will try to help. are you struggling with the past?

yes.....

the key is to accept without obsessing over. it's like a snake... a venemous snake in the room with you. If you pay it too much attention it may bite you, but if you accept it and ignore it enough than it should leave you alone. You will always be aware of the snake and keep an eye on it, but you don't have to let it rule your life also..

okay.. so the snake wasn't a good analogy. hmmmmm

it was a good analogy

okay.... James... you have to accept it. So you did those things. Okay. You hurt and made people mad. Okay. People have hurt you too... as long as your not doing it anymore... I ask that you forgive yourself! It's key to accepting your past...

OOOOhhhhh.... hold on.....


Accepting yourself and forgiving yourself!!!!!! Boom. Right there! Concentrate on this, and not the past! Seriously, if you accept yourself first, then you can learn to accept the past too... but if you don't accept yourself, you can't accept the past cuz it's part of you.

We need to get you out of the past and into the now! Fill your head with ideas and images of how you are now... not how you have been before

I know from experience that it all starts with accepting how you currently are, and once you do then images from the past will slowly make their way into your life in small amounts and they are not too bad to accept, but you have to accept yourself first. accept and forgive

So how does one go about accepting and forgiving oneself... learning to love who you are and care about yourself? lol I actually know this one....

the answer to the age long question is.............

You have to start liking yourself!!! There are things that you like about yourself. Things that you do or ways that you think. Even the most self defeated person will have one thing that they like about themselves.... FIND IT! find it and EXPAND on it. Focus on it and obsess about it! seriously, obsessing about it would be good right now. lol.

Maybe you can borrow traits from others that you like and incorporate them into your personality. I know that people may critisize acting like others... but we all do it. Just forget stigma's and stereotypes on this one. Take what you like from others and have fun doing exactly that!

but the point is.... once you like yourself, then you can accept yourself. once you have accepted yourself, you can accept things about yourself like past issues. But it has to start somewhere and I believe it starts with accepting yourself

ok...

I read

and that didn't seem enough

it wasn't enough Dan...

it wasn't enough

....I mean...my effort wasn't enough

I think the most important thing is to do what feels right. If it feels wrong than don't do it cuz it feels wrong for a reason. Take the path that is fun and that feels right and start there. If it's fun... you are more likely to stick with it.

I'm not talking bout using or drinking, I'm talking about taking a part of you that you like and expanding on that in a fun way

let me think for a minute

think for two minutes buddy

ok. here it is.....

ok it's about time I gave you credit brother....!!

for what you do...

you have to know that nothing goes past me you help me try always Dan.....

you do alot more than is possible.....

but this thing Dan this condition is insane...madness!

don't know who am

badly broken man

hate takes over
he hates himself
loathes the things that he is doing
loathes the ways that he exists
he just doesn't care anymore
but there is something
in someones words he has found a little something
almost too small to focus on
just enough to for him to recognize
he tries to focus on it
he tries to expand on it
but he just can't
this glimmer that he has found has aggravated things
it has opened a hole inside of him
a hole that he needs to fill
it brings back urges to use drugs
it brings back the desire to drink

but with it it has brought a desire for more
it has brought back a desire to be better
fighting the urge to use... he want's more out of life again

won't someone enter his hell
step outside of themselves and join him there
someone who knows what it's like to die from the inside out
to be rotting, waiting....

won't someone just care enough to do that
show him he is not alone
and maybe, just maybe he can follow them out
see the steps that they take
ones he had never considered before
to show him the way


I take the love that I have for others, for someone special and I use that to better myself.

I picture them in my head.. caring for me and loving me.
I know what they want for me.
I know what they expect from me
I know that I can not let them down

it is in this way that I take my spite, my self hate and my loathing and I use it to meet the expectations. Not that I want to, but I do it out of spite.

I do it and a funny thing happens..... I keep doing it and I lose the spite and self hatred. I start doing it for the right reasons.

reasons change, but actions never will.

out of spite... focus on the good
out of spite... accept yourself

in the name of self hatred and spite... do this one thing that you know will hurt you. Use the self destructiveness and hurt yourself.... by accepting yourself.

I do this. The end result is like nothing you have ever experienced before. The spite and the self destructiveness and the hate does go away... and you are left with more of a clean slate and a great start.

use your self hate and take it to the next level. use it to do something good for yourself. You know and I know that doing something good for yourself has a big chance of hurting. change hurts and letting go hurts. strive for that hurt. that's the kind of hurt that you should be feeling and do it out of self destructive behavior.

strive for the hurt of healing. it does hurt... find it... seek it out.... the pain of having something to lose....
the pain of letting go of your past....
seek out that pain the way you have sought out your past.....

what do you have to lose

thats just incredible....

Dan!

amazing man!

I have to go... but I hope that this was enough for now. I'm really sorry if not... then I have failed