[moodiegirl]

I wonder if this is something that has to do with my low self-esteem and my perfectionism but I often feel embarrassed, in various situations. Then I can't forget the embarrassing situation and it keeps spinning inside my head over and over again.

It goes from stupid, simple situations such as my phone going off in class or me knocking off a stand with brochures at the dentist's, to me not remembering the right word at my thesis presentation and going eeeeemmmmm for what seemed like an eternity. Other situations have to do with the fact that I'm bipolar: at the beginning of my diagnosis, I was kind of obsessed with it and would tell everyone about my illness, and I can't "untell" that now. When I'm manic or feeling a bit hyperactive, I tend to talk too much and say stuff I regret later. Does this happen to anyone else?

I don't really know what the point of my post is, I guess I'd just like to know if I'm the only one overthinking things like these? And how to overcome the thoughts and feelings of embarrassment?

[BlackPup]

I used to be like that all the time. Now I give myself a break, I'm allowed to make mistakes - I'm human. It's slot easier to live with if you can shake off those petty embarrassments. Part of it is learning to forgive yourself when you make mistakes.

Good luck. I hope you can get past this too. Have you got a T to talk this through with?

[moodiegirl]

Thanks BlackPup!

I don't have a T, I go to my pdoc every once in a while, and it's mostly about meds. I don't know why I'm so unsure of myself, especially since I first got sick. Will keep reminding myself that it's human to make mistakes. Thanks for reminding me there is hope

[BipolaRNurse]

Over-thinking and analyzing things to death are part of the whole bipolar experience, I'm afraid. We're experts at it. What helps me is to imagine a big red STOP sign and saying the word to myself loudly and firmly; doing so usually flips a switch in my brain to the OFF position, and I can go on to think about something else. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but it's always worth trying.

[BlackPup]

If you don't have a T then try keeping a journal. Writing things down helps you process your feelings a lot like talking does.

[roads]

BlackPup's suggestion of a journal is a super idea. I've had one on computer so I can easily search subjects. I can see where I've been before with ideas and worries. Often it comes down to the same meds & I can talk with pdoc--easy solutions!
There is life after being diagnosed bipolar. We can put things back, not the same way but in ways that work. And not always simple, but do-able.
Roadie

[moodiegirl]

I will try journaling again, I used to have issues with irrational jealousy and stopped writing a journal because I was kind of afraid of my own thoughts. I managed to somehow overcome those feelings or thoughts (or their intensity at least), so journaling might be a good idea again.

The STOP technique is a good one, I'm a beginner at it but it's proving to be effective.

Thanks for all the support, I really appreciate it!

[faerie_moon_x]

Up until I was about 26, I couldn't sleep because every night I would lay in bed and go over every single thing that had went wrong over and over. Not just things I had done but the bullying I encountered as a kid and a teen. Even all those years later I would go over and over everything until I was going crazy.

Sometimes when bad things happen I just obsess over them and can't stop. It's very difficult. I have to get to a place where I feel "safe." Sometimes that's really easy. One trick for me is sometimes I talk to my husband. He tends to be very logical about things. Sometimes just having that conversation of "this isn't a problem because...." will make it stop. When he's not available it takes all of my coping skills just to get through the day.

[moodiegirl]

Thank you dark heart for sharing! I feel exactly the same, although I never encountered bullying - that must have been awful for you
I feel better if I share those thoughts with my husband as well. I'm truly blessed to have him.
I hope we both get better in overcoming those thoughts and feelings dark heart