[bandits_mom]

hi - thanks for letting me join and hopefully meet new friends that will give me some advice. my son is 33 years old, a recovering addict, clean for three years. He developed a relationship with a bi-polar woman of 27 who got pregnant and went off her meds for the sake of the baby. Baby was born in December; I have never met her or her mother. She is very cycling , not on her meds and goes from hating me to liking me. I am planning a trip to see the baby and do not know how to deal with her and her family. In December she was fine, sending me pictures and talking and texting, then abruptly decided I wasn't someone she wanted to have contact with. I am planning my trip in ten days (they live 1700 miles away) and she has not yet decided if she will allow me to see the baby. My son has not lived with her since she was six months pregnant because of her rages, mood swings and arguments. I don't know what to do, say, handle any of this, and my son is so sad, I don't know how to talk to him either. Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by bandits_mom

hi - thanks for letting me join and hopefully meet new friends that will give me some advice. my son is 33 years old, a recovering addict, clean for three years. He developed a relationship with a bi-polar woman of 27 who got pregnant and went off her meds for the sake of the baby. Baby was born in December; I have never met her or her mother. She is very cycling , not on her meds and goes from hating me to liking me. I am planning a trip to see the baby and do not know how to deal with her and her family. In December she was fine, sending me pictures and talking and texting, then abruptly decided I wasn't someone she wanted to have contact with. I am planning my trip in ten days (they live 1700 miles away) and she has not yet decided if she will allow me to see the baby. My son has not lived with her since she was six months pregnant because of her rages, mood swings and arguments. I don't know what to do, say, handle any of this, and my son is so sad, I don't know how to talk to him either. Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you

You would be taking a really high risk traveling 1700 miles to see such an unpredictable person.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

You would be taking a really high risk traveling 1700 miles to see such an unpredictable person.

True, but it is her grandchild she's really going to see. The poster probably doesn't have any legal rights, but she can give it her best shot at making peace, helping out.

[hamster-bamster]

True, but given it is 1700 miles, not 170 miles, maybe some intermediate steps can be taken first. Say, sending layette to her or some other gifts. Her accepting the gifts would be step one.

[manicminer]

Before you decide to make such a trip, I would first make arrangements that both you and your son (the father) make the trip together. This would provide support for both of you and give both of you a chance to see your grandchild together.

Just a thought: If the mother is so unstable that the father does not find her fit to be with, how was/is she deemed fit to have custody of the child in the first place?

[Bipolar mom]

Originally Posted by manicminer

Before you decide to make such a trip, I would first make arrangements that both you and your son (the father) make the trip together. This would provide support for both of you and give both of you a chance to see your grandchild together.

Just a thought: If the mother is so unstable that the father does not find her fit to be with, how was/is she deemed fit to have custody of the child in the first place?

Welcome to pc! I agree with manicminer.

[BlackPup]

Welcome to PC. I also agree with manic miner. Maybe the doctors can encourage her to go back on her meds so she is better able to take care of her baby.