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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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#1
So for those of you who know me quite well, you know I have a zero contact rule with older sibling after naming and apparantly not shaming him as my abuser....
He's been in the country for 3 weeks and you know what I see on all my social media pages despite blocking him? pics upon pics and status' about HIM from the very people I told him about!!! They've been fawning over him all Fkn holiday while I sit at home alone like the guilty party, and the ONE day I take off work he's visiting my mother! Great just fkn GREAAAAAAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I should just drop dead already, nobody loves me besides Jordan, and she doesn't have a choice The world is a cruel cruel place... |
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Anika., Anonymous32897, beauflow, carrie_ann, Darth Bane, faerie_moon_x, Mollie May, Moose72, Secretum, ~Christina
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Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Anywhere where I can grow
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#2
((((Trippin)))
Family and abuse is hard, and there is a lot of ignorance that goes with family and abuse. It does not excuse it at all, and it does not make the pain go away but many hugs to you I am pretty sure a lot of PC members have love for you Trippin I don't know if weather children "have to love their parents"; but I know I have floated around the boards and seen a caring heart from you--- and that can mean the world to a child. Please remember that you are worth so much, and that you have been growing as time passes-- and remember that others don't always grow as you do-- even if it would be nice if they did (((((many well thoughts your way))))) I hope things get better for you __________________ "A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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14 600 hugs
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#3
Thank you Beauflow it's just gut-wrenching to witness them all spending time with him and shamelessly advertising it all over the internet like I never said anything... He was right, I did do him a favour when I told 'the world'.... Now I'm the only one paying for it.
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Anika., Anonymous32897, beauflow, ~Christina
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Veteran Member
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#4
is punching him in the face option??? you can tell someone else to do it for you!!!!
__________________ I am lost in my own mind ! Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams ! Dx - Bipolar II I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!! |
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Karma Kid
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: Great White North
Posts: 2,154
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#5
Trippin, I am so sorry.
It isn't 'just' really at all. And that makes me sick too. Children do not have to love their parents. It is not a given, I don't love my father and even tho he is passed now it still hasn't changed. I felt sorry for him in a not so good way, thats not the same Jordon loves you because she can, because you make it that way and you love her and show her that. It's not because she has to. I Love you sis, and many others here do to as well. You are a beautiful, amazing, soulful woman, kinda hard not to love you I would think. Beauflow got it right. No wonder your head has been spinning. I just didnt know what to say, you know when you care about someone a ton nothing seems like the right thing to say. That fear of saying the wrong thing. How can you shut this down? Like in your heart space..head. I don't understand somethings..this is one of them. I watched this with my sister, and now another sister. I know beauflow said some people don't grow as you do and that is true. Where they are growing from and to where to arrive there..I don't understand.. maybe we are not supposed to. Just know your own truth Trippin, and hold onto it. It's that whole rising above the ashes thing like a pheonix. Which you have done many times. Hold your head high, you have no reason to hide. I understand the avoiding of him, and I would too, but don't let that avoidance make you hunch down and make yourself meak. It's not you. __________________ Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine Last edited by Anika.; Feb 05, 2013 at 04:12 AM.. |
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~Christina
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#6
...wouldn't it just be cool to be able to say or scream... "screw you lot!!"
"I'm outa' here ...off to my island in the sky in another world" where you can be yourself... I'm sorry you're coppin' it right now Lia.. (I know you like tinkerbell ) |
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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#7
I decided I will not hide at a friend's house from him today, but will not face him either... So instead there will be really loud obnoxious metal music with lots of swear words blaring from my room for the duration of his visit today!
Thanks so much you guys, I wish I could get someone to punch him, but ja. OH CRAP HE'S HERE!!! |
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Anika., Anonymous32897, beauflow, carrie_ann, Darth Bane, ~Christina
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Karma Kid
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: Great White North
Posts: 2,154
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#8
Thata girl!!!! Nah he doesn't deserve the energy or action a punch would take for his actions. No fuel at all. Crank your metal and take up your space. Love you heaps!!
__________________ Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine |
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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14 600 hugs
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#9
Love you too sis
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Karma Kid
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: Great White North
Posts: 2,154
12 1,410 hugs
given |
#10
I gotta put my books away and go to bed. But keep your thoughts and words kind to yourself. I hope your day goes well despite this all. If it becomes too much step out for a bit and find some peace. Touch some nature and remember you do have love and you breathe love.
I'll peak in and see how you are when I wake up. make sure it is uncomfortably loud to stick around __________________ Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine |
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#11
sorry trippin!
totally can see how annoyed that will make you ((((hugs)))) |
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,861
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#12
People can be so unfair but it's even worse when it's family Like Anika says, Jordan loves you because you deserve it. We love you here too. Hope he disappears from your life so that you don't have to see him or think about him. __________________ I can do all things through him who gives me strength |
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
(SuperPoster!)
14 600 hugs
given |
#13
Thank God he's gone!!!
Apparantly he couldn't stay too long bcoz his flight is TOMORROW! Thanks guys it's times like these when I don't recognize my famly and just think 'who arrre these people!!!!' Well atleast I have a whole year to pretend they're semi-normal while he's abroad.... |
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beauflow, ~Christina
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#14
You have to wonder, Trippin, what kind of friends he has acquired after being exposed as an abuser. They must be a lovely crowd!
Feel good about yourself, Trippin. You are one nice person and you've done admirably. Sure you're loved; you've just had a bad day. Take care. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: In the galaxy far far away !!!
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#15
i agree with genetic.... you should dump all those friends from your friend lists...
and i am guessing you will still have like zillion friends remaining... since you are nice person everyone on this forum can say that about you... __________________ I am lost in my own mind ! Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams ! Dx - Bipolar II I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!! |
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#16
and this is why it's so important that survivors of abuse face their abusers... normally once the abuser is behind bars and the victim is safe. it can provide closure... and can be one of the hardest things a victim can do in their life.
But in this case, the abuser has the support of all the family and friends... leaving the victim powerless to face him. hmmmmmm... i couldn't imagine being in a tougher spot. being a guy... I think i would have it out with him. At least that's what I think would happen. I don't really know the scarring that would leave. but you don't even have that option. I mean, you could try it, but being a man he prolly could overpower you. hmmmmm... and you already have taken the legal, do not see this person avenue. so you have done all you can do.. and still the bastard comes around! with the support of the immediate family! Oh geez.... And your not as cold blooded as me as to abandon all of your existing family either. I can see feeling stuck and trapped. You have me though, and all of us on these boards. Not that we can fix it for you, but it's just one more thing the bastard can never take away from you. Hope it gets better for you, and I hope that the feelings that his visit surely brought vanish quickly with no fallout. Be well, Ophelia.... If I was there I would have punched him for you! |
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Darth Bane
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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14 600 hugs
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#17
Thanks for all the support guys!
and the friends on FB are my siblings, cousins and nieces, all posting about that fab time they are having with him... I haven't taken legal action, just outed him to all and sundry, except my mom bcoz she's been through enough AND because she will pretend it never happened (she did that to my sister) No punching him is not an option he has obtained muscles nearly half the width of my torso, but I would set him alight given half a chance Just to make him dance... So yes I could delete the lot from my FB but that would be way more troublesome when we get into them attacking me for 'why' and I get defensive and retalliate in a really ugly manner and it will just drag on and on and then they will involve my mom and she will become upset and I live with her and so forth and so forth... Best to just leave the lot to their rotting and pray the good Lord has an escape plan for me and Jordan where I can truely CHOOSE who I see AND when! |
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#18
makes me think of all the houses that I live by.... 3000 square feet for two people and such. there is so much wealth by where I live, and I'm a little guilty of it too. makes me think, with all the wealth everywhere, why can't we make room for those good people that really need it? I mean, if I lived in africa living like I live now, there would be no reason that we couldn't make room for you and Jordan.
just makes me think and gets me a little sick... I saw a homeless girl the other day and I thought the same thing. But I knew that my wife would have a meltdown and accuse me of being hypomanic again if I brought her home with her two kids. But why don't we live in a world where that is ok? I mean, the girl WAS kinda cute and all, but that really had nothing to do with it. I don't want to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, but there are so many people that do that I don't see why I can't share what I have to help them. Because I'm marrried? idk. But I want to... Okay, rant over. hang in there Trippin! you'll find your way! |
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Veteran Member
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#19
you should deal with it as you like ...
but don't worry about his muscles... humans are not physically strong, that is why we have invented so many weapons...Its not that difficult to disable man in a fight... never fight with bare hands... always pick up something which can be used as weapon.. in normal life if you pick up a chair and bring it down on his head,he most probably wont survive... and eyes are like most delicate part of humans or animals... even normal fingers can do enough damage there... you could survive against even leopard if you know how to fight... don't underestimate your strength!!!! __________________ I am lost in my own mind ! Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams ! Dx - Bipolar II I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!! |
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#20
Quote:
Are you...lmao... suggesting that we train Trippin online on how to take this guy out??!! Too funny! We can coach her online and have her go through a training regimint and train her in the art of whooping this guys ***! I love it! You down, Trippin? lol |
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