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#1
Feb 15, 2013, 04:56 PM
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Visit with Therapist- "Mixed Episode"
I just came out of my post-ER appointment with my therapist. We talked about why I seem to scare off friends when I'm manic or in a mixed episode, and why I can't seem to keep a job. What do I do or don't do? Do I expect too much from them? I'm I asking too much of a burdon of them when I'm in an episode? I'm still not sure of these, but we did figure that I should blog and post on bulletin boards to help. One thing she did say is that she agrees with the PsychER staff that I've been in a mixed episode: Manic and depressed at the same time. She said I've been depressed and irritable at the same time, having dark thoughts, yet scaring away friends with my insistance and dark writing here in my blog. We talked about how to get rid of the intrusive thoughts about taking pills and that I have two minds: the one that says to take the pills and the one that says, "but then you'll end up in the ER with charcoal down your throat". Its the second one that has been a savior. I am not, however, completely, out of the woods, as I did have some brandy to drink last night and all that did was mess up my blood thinner levels and make me feel hot. Its just that, as I told her, I feel this internal restless feeling- this aweful knawing feeling inside that my brain calls out to anything like Ativan or Benedryl or alcohol to calm me. I end up on my bed as if it were a lift raft, keeping me away from the pills and alcohol, watching tv, desperately trying to keep my attention on "All Creatures Great and Small". I see my therapist in a week and a few days, again, and my psych. dr. on Monday. (Today is Friday.) I think I can make it over the weekend again WITHOUT submitting to the calls of these drugs. Monday. Monday. I can make it until Monday! I did it last week, I can do it again. I got my pill box refilled today, so I have meds to last me. Ken took the rest of my scripts back home with him. We also talked about drinking hot tea to fool my brain into thinking I've had something to eat, when I get hungry late at night from the higher dose of Zyprexa. I sure hope that helps. The feeling of your brain saying, "Eat... eat... eat..." is so hard to ignore!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
 BlueInanna, Darth Bane, faerie_moon_x, ~Christina
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#2
Feb 15, 2013, 05:15 PM
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Sorry to hear your going through this. I just pulled out of a mixed episode they suck. It's good your friend is holding your meds so your safe. I wish you the best and hope you get through this soon.
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“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it ....” ― Henry Ford lamictal 200mg, synthroid 75 mcg, Testosterone injections thanks to lithium causing thyroid problems |
| Moose72
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 Cocosurviving, Moose72
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#3
Feb 15, 2013, 06:34 PM
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I can so completely relate. I've been in a funk about 3 days, idk it's hard to keep track of. I'm totally anxious and crying and so f@&_ing angry. It feels like the world and the people in it aren't safe. My t and I are gonna start cognitive processing therapy soon. Ptsd really acting up.
Sorry you are going through this but your not alone. I feel very alone. 
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| Moose72
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| Moose72
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#4
Feb 15, 2013, 06:49 PM
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Thank you passionskyy.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#5
Feb 15, 2013, 10:37 PM
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Stay strong and hold on. The fact that you have support is really great. I'll be praying for you.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| Moose72
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#6
Feb 15, 2013, 10:55 PM
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Here we go- bedtime. No alcohol! No benedryl. Ativan's at my friend's anyway.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#7
Feb 15, 2013, 11:32 PM
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Actually, I went and had forbidden sex with my partner. I'd group that with drugs.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#8
Feb 16, 2013, 12:12 AM
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Good night sweet dreams.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#9
Feb 16, 2013, 12:16 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#10
Feb 16, 2013, 01:52 PM
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Aww, Moose,
 you've been having a tough time lately. I hope it gets better soon. I'm not sure why sex would be forbidden, but definitely stay away from the alcohol as you try to get back on track.Thinking of you- Bluemountains |
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#11
Feb 16, 2013, 02:01 PM
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Quote:
But if you go beyond normal sex or you don't really love your partner, because of your conscience, you may need to decide who you want to be and being comfortable in yourself. |
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#12
Feb 17, 2013, 04:14 PM
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Quote:
I haven't had another drink since Thursday. The sex thing well its just a complicated relationship is all. Nothing to do with the actual sex.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#13
Feb 17, 2013, 04:16 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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