[southpole]

Hi All, time to vent ...

I'm so sick of people calling me "oversensitive" because I react to things by crying or getting angry when I feel someone has said something hurtful. I fluctuate very easily from being calm, together and happy to being really upset/raging mad. Since my BP dx I understand now that these swings are a part of the illness which has been a relief to know, but I can't seem to escape this label of being "oversensitive" or "overreactive". According to certain people I am close to, and even to my pdoc, I should be more "rational" in my responses.

Personally I feel like my sensitivity or reactiveness are not necessarily "over" the top. I know that most people react with words, well I have learned to react with emotions because I have been made to feel throughout my life that talking back is not ok. Generally I have also been taught that emotions are also not ok so I bottle them up. I end up not wanting to talk about them so I just cry or rage instead. Often this is the only way I can feel relief.

It seems to me that in most people's cases, reacting to criticism or other hurtful things is ok. But crying and anger are something to be ashamed of.

I want to learn how to manage these emotions better and not get to the point where I explode, and to be able to use words to respond to people or situations. But in the mean time I just want to be accepted as me with all my particularities and weirdnesses.

Does anyone else have a problem with being "over" sensitive like this? How have you dealt with it?

[Bipolar mom]

I am extremely over sensitive. I have been since very young, and I am still looking for s way to cope.. As I got older I have learned to cry less in public by trying to rationalize what ia going on and finding a better way to react, but believe me I still have my melt downs at home. You are not alone <3

[manicminer]

One good way is whenever you feel like exploding on someone, come here to explode instead. Often times writing out how you feel can be as relieving as speaking it, in my case at least.
No one will think any less of you if you vent on here.

[rossiv46]

I too have been told I'm so sensitive or "delicate". I don't know how to deal with it. Sometimes I just avoid those people or try and keep it in and stay quite. Don't know what else to do.

[southpole]

Thanks guys. It's always good to post on here and get it out, and to know I'm not alone.

Originally Posted by rossiv46

Sometimes I just avoid those people or try and keep it in and stay quite.

Yes me too. It's hard when its family though, or a pdoc. I have to just deal with it. But I hate it - I find it hurtful to be called "over sensitive" because it is usually done with an air of judgment and dare I say it disdain. Which of course just adds another layer of shame into the mix. It's like a self-defeating cycle. Someone says something hurtful so I cry, then I get told I'm oversensitive for crying, and then that adds insult to injury and I cry some more. And then I feel totally stupid. ARGH! So sometimes I think "I will just never say anything to anyone about how I feel ever again!"

[Lauru]

I think we are all just human, with differences that make us all beautiful. It is a blessing that we can feel. There was a time I felt nothing, ever. Then there was a time where I felt so much all the time. I am a little more in the middle now.

I generally hate people who say that too...

If you make an insulting, degrading, disrespectful comment towards someone, you take the consequences, you deserve the consequences. Generally, insulting comments hurt people because they are intended to hurt people.

It's that these people, who make these comments, turn around and say, "I said something insulting, but I get to control how offended you feel about it"

Those people are idiots.

[BipolaRNurse]

So-called "oversensitivity" and bipolar disorder go together like salt and pepper. I don't know too many BPers who aren't acutely sensitive to every sling and arrow that comes their way, whether real or imagined.

Personally, I'm not much of a crier---I get angry instead---but I certainly tend to overreact when I feel I've been slighted. Just the other day at work, we had a staff appreciation party, and I was turned away at two different tables I tried to sit down at because people were "saving seats" for somebody else.

Well, I thought, if I was going to relive third grade, I wasn't about to stick around. You know the whole "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go eat some worms" thing. So I stomped off to my office, only to be intercepted by my boss who said "It's OK, I'LL sit with you---come on." And he did, even though by this time I was feeling pretty foolish acting like a 9-year-old at age 54!

[bpinOk]

I to am called "oversensative" I usually respond with anger

It goes with the territory, I think. Bipolar people are often gifted, and giftedness has
as one of its characteristics extreme sensitivity. Makes me wonder in what field (s) you are gifted: is it art (usually the case), sculpture, design, music, engineering, or what?

Enjoy it and disregard what critics say. It's inborn and meant to be helpful in fulfilling your life's dreams.

[Anika.]

All my life I have been called oversensitive, overdramatic, overemotional. I have even been called overemathetic. Some people even view the sight of tears as a manipulation tactic.. So far from the truth I think in most cases. My children are also like me this way. I respond to emotions with tears, even happy ones. I respond to anger with tears as well. That is how I release emotion. In my opinion there is nothing wrong or inappropriate about it. What seems wrong is shaming people for it, or shaming oursleves.

I don't know how many times I have been told to get thicker skin. Even here on PC once someone tried to shame me and tell me I should adapt to their thick skinned ways. This is the skin I was born with, it's not a defect or a flaw. It's just designed differently then some others. All types of personalities help this world go round. We all offer different things that are needed.

You maybe want to google search highly sensitive people or personality and see how much you relate to that. It's not a disorder or anything tho. Not wrong, nor right, just is. And can be used as a gift. Like most things in life learning how to work with it, not run from it can benefit us and others.

This reminds me of how there is something wrong with being an introvert and everything right about being an extrovert. How appearing shy is defective self esteem, where being more obnoxious is more acceptable. And I am certain that all these traits are often misunderstood.

Managing the emotions so that the emotions can be used for the betterment of your life is probably a good idea, and putting a gift to use. Letting the emotions run you over into explosion I am guessing probably doesn't feel very good. I think you have the right idea about not changing the sensitivity, but just learning ways to work with it.

[southpole]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

So-called "oversensitivity" and bipolar disorder go together like salt and pepper. I don't know too many BPers who aren't acutely sensitive to every sling and arrow that comes their way, whether real or imagined.

Originally Posted by genetic

It goes with the territory, I think. Bipolar people are often gifted, and giftedness has as one of its characteristics extreme sensitivity. Makes me wonder in what field (s) you are gifted: is it art (usually the case), sculpture, design, music, engineering, or what?

Enjoy it and disregard what critics say. It's inborn and meant to be helpful in fulfilling your life's dreams.

It does very much seem like a BP thing. Unfortunately it has a major effect on my mood - I quite easily swing due to triggers, so that aspect of the sensitivity I'd like to manage better as it does at times make me too low, not just a bit teary. But yes I am sensitive to 'every sling and arrow' that comes my way, most definitely. It can be a hard way to live at times but at the same time it's just me.

I like the idea of channeling the sensitivity, and that it might help me fulfill my 'life's dreams'. It has at least at some level helped in this way. I am a 'gifted' writer and musician. I am also an empath although that gets taken advantage of now and then, though I have now learnt how not to be swallowed up by other people.

The idea of giftedness is an interesting one too - I read Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child" and it made a lot of sense to me. How bout the rest of you? Have you been able to channel your sensitivity into a creative outlet?

[southpole]

Originally Posted by Anika.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong or inappropriate about it. What seems wrong is shaming people for it, or shaming oursleves.
... This is the skin I was born with, it's not a defect or a flaw. It's just designed differently then some others. All types of personalities help this world go round. We all offer different things that are needed.

Thank you for sharing this Anika It helps to know that other sensitive people have also had to fight against the shame that has been out upon them by others, which eventually becomes the shame that we put on ourselves. I am ashamed of reacting, then I become ashamed of shame. It is not a healthy way to live. I would like to get to the point where I feel accepted (both by myself and others) even in the midst of an "over" reaction, in the midst of tears, or misplaced anger. It doesn't help me to try and hide it because I am worried about being judged. It has to come out, some time. Preferable not as a massive explosion of emotions. But, hey, if that does happen, I'd like not to feel ashamed about it either.

[Lil Ant Lady]

I got told because of my over sensitivity I must be bpd more than bp.

Confused after reading this cos I don't really fit the Dx criteria of bpd at all

[southpole]

Originally Posted by Lil Ant Lady

I got told because of my over sensitivity I must be bpd more than bp.

Confused after reading this cos I don't really fit the Dx criteria of bpd at all

Lil Ant Lady, I wonder if I am BPD sometimes not only because of the oversensitivity but the anger and the tendency to cut people off when they upset me. I'm trying reaaalllly hard not to do that any more. It's left me feeling like I can't be close to anyone which is what I am trying to rectify after many years of feeling lonely, even with people around me. But I haven't been diagnosed as BPD ... just BP II with comorbid GAD, OCD and Panic Disorder. So many things wrong :-( Blah ... I just tell myself that dx is just dx, not "me", but at the same time it really helps to know what's "wrong" with me so I can put it into perspective. So I have no idea about BPD versus BP. But from what I am now reading oversensitivity is definitely a product or symptom of these kind of disorders.

Stupid brain chemicals

[Broachellen]

I think being over sensitive comes with the bp. I try to cope with music a lot. Sometimes the right song can swing your emotion in a good direction