Hi all! Here's the deal. I know someone who very very VERY much needs to learn some self-soothing techniques. I promised to send him some links to help learn some (because texting techniques is quite cumbersome, eh?). Then it occurred that with all the accumulated knowledge here, PCers likely have links they really like on this topic.

Now, this is important. The guy that they are for? Frankly, kind of a skeptic ("in meds we trust"), so straightforward simple techniques would be best. The most effective for the least effort. Nothing too esoteric or requiring beliefs, ok?

Links are ideal, but if you've got one (or more!) technique that you really like that isn't a link, just describe how to do it, and I'll pass that along to him too. Thanks so much, guys! Sure, I'm asking on behalf of a desperate skeptic, but I really hope we can all get something out of this exchange.
Because who couldn't use some relaxation, right?

[Darth Bane]

you know zen... those people who are doing mediation with eyes closed and all... basic thing is you have to completely stop your eye movement... stare at single spot... or try to concentrate at spot between your eyes or just above that... if you succeed in it you can stop your whole thinking ... your mind will be blank and peaceful.... try it now... stare at any letter in this post,without moving your eyes and try to think about anything... you wont be able to do that... even when we are dreaming our eyes are moving...

[Victoria'smom]

I stop and count with my inhales.

[bunnifoo]

One of my therapists taught me this -

Sit down. Put your feet flat on the floor. Place your palms flat on thighs. Close your eyes. Take deep, slow breathes. (For example, inhale for 2, exhale for 2) and do this until you feel calmer.

[AeonDM]

Might not be helpful, but ... http://rufusmay.com/index.php?option...d=20&Itemid=37

[~Christina]

Weird but I swear it works .. My T taught me this.

Slow deep breathing, Focus on how the air "feels" going into your bronchial tubes and lungs .. feel the sensation ...

Yeah weird but it works for me 99% of the time

Thanks, guys. I was just talking with him and passing these along. The slow breathing focus one is a real go-to, isn't it? It's so highly "portable". Though if really freaking out, I do find laying down to do it extra good. The sitting one's good too (and more appropriate if in public. ). Do you try to count to higher number, Mm, or use it to help measure the pace? That's an interesting one, Darth. I've often stared/zoned/focused on one small thing, but was never aware of the eye thing. It does take total focus! Heheh, first tried it on the little hug guy, but then it looked like he was moving (maybe the computer pulsing thing?? Or the effect of the gradient color, maybe.) Most likely explanation was me doing it badly, lol. Then worked on something on the room. That didn't move. I'll have to watch the videos (as I wasn't on the computer today before talking with him). Thanks, for those Aeon. With a number of them to choose from, there will surely be at least one that strikes a chord.

Explained to him about mindfulness, since that is something all of these entail. Oh! Was tensed trying to sleep last night, which brought to mind another one.... progressive muscle relaxation. From reading, it seems that many people will tense a zone before relaxing it fully. I've only tried it that way a few times. (Maybe because I tend to already run quite physically tensed up??) One thing I've added to it though is after really relaxing it, trying to bring it down even more by imagining melting(!) Like ice cream on a warm sidewalk. It's great to be able to do the whole exercise, but must admit to often just doing a particularly problematic area. (Talkin' to you -- neck, shoulders and upper back!)

I should look up a good solid explanation of it, but atm, no time (BF's move day suddenly got moved up from 3 weeks away to 2 days(!) Long story. So hooo-doggies, he's needing these! Loads of stress. And on this end I really need to get his plane ticket tonight.) Anyhow! Essentially, for anyone unfamiliar with it, while laying on your back, close your eyes and start at one end of your body. Taking it a section at a time, put all your focus on fully relaxing that area (or tense then release and relax if you prefer). Focus on the physical sensation of relaxing, then relax further. You progressively (hence the name) relax your body from one end to the other. As mentioned above, being one to have a hard time truly relaxing, I find the visual/sensory imagining of a "melt" helpful. It does take considerable focus to really relax. (Heh, it sneaks back up on me, and I need to go back to really convince those muscles to stay relaxed. They are very stubborn. The shoulders seem to really want to hang out in proximity to the ears, because they'll sneak back up every chance they get.)

Someone probably has a better explanation of it. Hope to hear others and maybe variations you find helpful. Hopefully everyone will get to try something new.
One can never have too many!