[dubblemonkey]

...

what a wounded little boy I am what a child what a baby overwhelmed staring at my adult self!

I was nursed into life I was enabled I was nurtured I was treated with love to become alive more than I was able to do alone!

I wandered the streets alive dreaming death I wandered the streets hoping for no more breath!...

I didn't know who to trust or what to trust

I split from reality like I do everyday anyway...

all grown up now and outrageous displaced and contagious...

I can't find my way out of here I know I am ill I know that!...I see the ridiculous make stupid nonsense right in my face...

and yet I can survive for days unfed unbed.

manic like separated from existence the true meaning...

it's all gone

swallowed up in my abundance of hungry emotions

I feed on anything that keeps me alive and my death is just the inspiration I need

...maybe I am manic right now...I believe so

I never ask for help much

I'm one of these freaky dudes who just stay alive for the fun of it!

I came back here because I really need you

I could not handle being away from you

I owe you my life

[Victoria'smom]

Please eat, I'm sorry your manic. We need you too.