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#1
Mar 12, 2013, 06:50 AM
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...a game right?
well not exactly!...  ... ever been tackled by police?... had your body so physically detained?... and then the needle! from the ambos? the knees in the neck and the twisted arms and the head in the gravel! the needle?...just that one 'pin prick' and it is not enough... it just infuriates me more I am now certifiably insane my mania has peaked!.. and they hit me again!...I already forgot my body now there are more police on top of me... the power I exert is even beyond whats possible relative to the energy I have introduced to my body for the last week and a bit I guess... I'm right out front my house...in the street...the people who live next door?..... well? they are all here now!...not that I ever wanted them!...but if I ever needed them..it's not right now...but people love to watch another crash... maybe it makes them feel better and I know it does I have been there...hardly long enough I can't think about this right now I am severely subdued ...all my efforts are compromised!...society has solutions prepared to deal with damaged people...even on the footpath..the (sidewalk) for you Americans... ...and what?...it's still not enough!... they hit me again... and now I'm really out! and I awake in shackles with some weird scuba gear on my face... __________________________ this has been regular behaviour for me for a few years now... but something happened...something different. I found out that I scared two people....I really freaked them out! they were unarmed and alone with me...they were paramedics... I armed myself....with the intention of hurting myself.. but they were not to know my intention...I was psychotic... this court case is still going... I have typically hit the hospital at least 4 times a year for the last 8 years...and it's never been fun...and it's even worse getting home recovering from the sedation and the memory of insanity. this illness 'they' say I have?... it's not a sport... we can be ill and still aware...this is what I am learning... it might just cost me this time round this last sidewalk superbowl! but I break the golden rule during intense mania...and thats no excuse! treat others how I want to be treated. thats all I have to say about this dm |
 BlueInanna, kindachaotic, pegasus, ~Christina
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 optimize990h
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#2
Mar 12, 2013, 08:37 AM
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I am sorry you have those memories, monkeyman.
__________________
I get fed, don't worry.   (Buddy putting in his 2bits worth)
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| dubblemonkey
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#3
Mar 12, 2013, 06:14 PM
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James, I know this whole mess is weighing on you ... Just hang on, there is hope.
Love you
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| dubblemonkey
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