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#1
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There are two of me. The part that takes my kids to dr's appointments and takes photos and enjoys life. Then there's the part that is in love with researching how much of what type of drug it would take to overdose. Obviously, these are opposite poles of thinking. But even though the Zyprexa has helped a lot, the thoughts are still there; the volume is just turned down. I look up what happens if you take X amount of Benedryl, or I contemplate that too much Ativan puts you into a coma. But how much does not? Usually, these thoughts are at night, but its the middle afternoon right now. I will get through the rest of the afternoon. I have all those appointments tomorrow. That will be a touch point with my pdoc at least. I didn't expect to think these things. But we'll see how tomorrow goes. I'll update after that appointment. Meanwhile, I should find something good to read and the kids come home soon. God I hope bedtime goes well. Its always so triggering for me, even though I have a DVD to watch.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() AeonDM, Anonymous32734, BipolaRNurse, faerie_moon_x
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![]() clash
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#2
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I am going to have to face the night. Stupid night. Long night. Then to my blood doctor appointment where I hope I dont get lost. Then to pdoc. I hope I know the way between.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#3
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It is a good decision to face it. Go through it. You can come out of it stronger.
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![]() clash
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#4
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Do these thoughts always happen at night or in certain places at night?
I used to experience night time depression. Im not sure what changed though. |
#5
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Quote:
Quote:
Stay strong. The battle is worth fighting. ![]()
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#6
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This depression has been a month at least.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#7
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My Zyprexa was upped and it did help but not completely
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#8
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Mostly at night but they are happening today during the afternoon.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#9
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Maybe because of your appointments tomorrow?
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#10
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That should help no? I'm tied enough to go to sleep now.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() AeonDM
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#11
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I have one kid that is supposed to be home by dark and two others home with me. Why am I this tired? Zyprexa ?
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() clash
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#12
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In bed. *sigh*
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() AeonDM
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#13
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Rest. You have things to do tomorrow.
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#14
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I'm in bed. Two appointments and just enough time to drive inbetween. Yikes
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#15
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I still can't stop the OD thoughts.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() faerie_moon_x
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#16
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In bed. Still want to Od. :-(
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#17
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Why why hy me and stupid bipolar ??? Brain is telling me to overdose
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#18
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Hey .. A thought came to me while I saw my T today ...
Since you seem to have these problems at night .. Why not go to bed earlier? and get up much earlier so you will be tired earlier ? Maybe avoid having a long nite ahead of you ? Since you feel better during the day. I do agree with Dark Heart .. you need to fight against the thoughts. STOP researching ways to OD online ... go on Tumblr.com and just scroll through pictures and interesting things , spoofs on tv shows or movies .. Trust me its a great place. You need to stay safe for your kids and for YOU .
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#19
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I got into bed early and napped tonight. I will try tumbler. Tomorrow ill be at appointments most of the day. I've been watching a funny DVD from the library.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#20
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Just so much anxiety
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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