Obsessing

Melmo · Mar 27, 2013 at 08:33 PM

Anyone else feel like this?
I find myself constantly thinking an obsessing about SOMETHING. Even when watching TV...I find myself not paying attention, because I am thinking of something else. I have to go on my laptop to look something up. For example lately I have been thinking a lot about weather bipolar people can have successful romantic relationships long term, so I am obsessing about looking up personal stories from bipolar people who are in long term relationships or married. It's always something I am thinking about. My mind can almost never just be blank.
I used to obsess about my weight, and eating habits and felt like I was defined by how much I weigh. I am working on being happy no matter what size I am and am finding myself much happier. Now, I am defining myself by being bipolar. I need to just focus on being a regular PERSON, and not my mental issues.
Can anyone relate? I am making it a goal to stop doing it so much, and make an effort to just RELAX.

hamster-bamster · Mar 27, 2013 at 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

make an effort to just RELAX.

Look up mindfulness. "making an effort to relax" is an oxymoron. You cannot do that.

Mindfulness literature would tell you about observing without judgment, just being with you, with yourself, and just the way you are, etc.

Say, just observe your breathing the way it is and stay with your breath. Do not try to breathe more deeply but just observe the way you breathe without WILLING to breathe any differently.

"making an effort" = willing, and that is not the best way to go (plus, it is not possible)

On a completely separate note, if you are watching TV and not paying attention, why don't you turn off the TV?

manicminer · Mar 27, 2013 at 09:15 PM

Sometimes I'm not sure if I remember how to relax or what such a thing feels like.

Everyone from my co-workers to my chiropractor is constantly telling me I just need to relax.

Even got "Cool your jets!" from a safety training instructor here at work once.

liveforfish · Mar 27, 2013 at 09:38 PM

I know what you mean. My mind never shuts up. I only find relief while reading a good book.

As far as people w/ BiPolar having long relationships, the answer is yes. I have been married for 20 years in May. We have been together 24 years. I have BiPolar.

Melmo · Mar 27, 2013 at 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by liveforfish

I know what you mean. My mind never shuts up. I only find relief while reading a good book.

As far as people w/ BiPolar having long relationships, the answer is yes. I have been married for 20 years in May. We have been together 24 years. I have BiPolar.

Thanks! It's nice to know it's possible

liveforfish · Mar 27, 2013 at 09:51 PM

Welcome!

Melmo · Mar 27, 2013 at 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Look up mindfulness. "making an effort to relax" is an oxymoron. You cannot do that.

Mindfulness literature would tell you about observing without judgment, just being with you, with yourself, and just the way you are, etc.

Say, just observe your breathing the way it is and stay with your breath. Do not try to breathe more deeply but just observe the way you breathe without WILLING to breathe any differently.

"making an effort" = willing, and that is not the best way to go (plus, it is not possible)

On a completely separate note, if you are watching TV and not paying attention, why don't you turn off the TV?

I don't always articulate what I mean to say very well so maybe what I am typing isn't what I mean to say but I will try anyways.
As time goes on, I become more aware of my feelings, and am getting better at identifying how I feel at that point in time. I am becoming more aware that I obsess too much. When I say I am making an effort to relax, I mean I am making an effort not to pick up my computer and google everything like how to stop binge eating...etc. I am trying to read a book, watch tv and trying to concentrate on that activity and enjoy it without my mind wandering.

Bipolar mom · Mar 27, 2013 at 10:08 PM

I obsess over everything as well. Right now I'm obsessed with the fact that I think my husband is having an affair, even though hes not. I can't stop thinking about it, making senerios in my head. It sucks

Melmo · Mar 27, 2013 at 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolar mom

I obsess over everything as well. Right now I'm obsessed with the fact that I think my husband is having an affair, even though hes not. I can't stop thinking about it, making senerios in my head. It sucks

I was never the jealous type, and I never even thought that my ex would cheat on me while we were together. He was accused of it while we were together, and I brushed it off because to me, it was ridiculous. I was sure he would never do it. I found out later that he did cheat on me with a girl we know, (and got her pregnant) and then not too long after that also found out he cheated with my best friend. (now ex best friend) I have since found out that he had been cheating on me for the whole year and a half we were together with the girl he got pregnant. Nice huh.
So yea, now I am paranoid when I think of the guy I am seeing talking to other girls, or female friends of his. I don't ever bring it up because I don't want him to think I am crazy and possessive. I don't want to be that way. But I can't help it

~Christina · Mar 27, 2013 at 10:25 PM

Do you have a T ? A good Therapist can help you work on being obsessed and the non stop running mind.

Biggest thing that has helped me is Mindfulness..

Try to get outside that always helps slooooow things down in your mind.

Melmo · Mar 27, 2013 at 10:33 PM

No I don't have a therapist. I just see my family dr, he was the one who prescribed my meds. I see him every month or so to see how I am doing and adjust meds if needed.
I do love being outside, I feel much more calm. Now that spring is here and warmer weather is coming, I hope to get outside more. I always feel much more depressed and anxious in the winter time.

~Christina · Mar 27, 2013 at 10:44 PM

Just some advice.. A regular Doctor just doesn't know enough about Mental illness and medications to treat most anyone.

I think everyone on the board is ready for some sunshine and getting out doors

Mar 27, 2013 at 10:46 PM

JustWantToBeNormal, yes, it's possible to have a long-term marriage that really works. There's no reason that you shouldn't, but I agree with Christina that you need to have therapy to get rid emotionally of the terrible situation you found yourself in with an X who cheated on you often.

That's probably a major cause of traumatic stress syndrome, and you need help to realize that you made the very human mistake of falling in love with someone who was unstable--big time.

You'll hear us say that meditation is a very good way to help alleviate the
obsessive thinking and checking into many things. Be glad that you can do that! Depression leads us into the "blahs"--no interest, just stale and empty. You never want that to happen.

Take care and keep working on calming your system and thoughts.

hamster-bamster · Mar 27, 2013 at 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

I don't always articulate what I mean to say very well so maybe what I am typing isn't what I mean to say but I will try anyways.
As time goes on, I become more aware of my feelings, and am getting better at identifying how I feel at that point in time. I am becoming more aware that I obsess too much. When I say I am making an effort to relax, I mean I am making an effort not to pick up my computer and google everything like how to stop binge eating...etc. I am trying to read a book, watch tv and trying to concentrate on that activity and enjoy it without my mind wandering.

I got it.

then, try a physical activity instead of watching a TV or reading a book. That would help better.

Mar 27, 2013 at 11:57 PM

JustWantToBeNormal, I just read several articles on Meditation and would like to recommend one to you. I think you might find it under this website:
http://www.buddanet.net/psymed1.htm It's an article by Jack Kornfield called
"Even the Best Meditators Have Old Wounds to Heal". I found it helpful in
understanding how meditation brings one to "a complex path of opening and awakening".

There are several safe sites regarding meditation. You might wish to investigate
a couple of them.

Take care.

Chupacabra · Mar 28, 2013 at 12:21 AM

^That. Meditation does help... When I allow myself to focus on it!

I totally understand. Even when the thoughts aren't racing, it's like they're always going. I also have OCD & anxiety issues so my obsessing is more like worry, but I got ya.

Also, I've been with my boyfriend (technically fiancé) for 7 years, it's pretty clear neither of us are going anywhere. He's seen me at my absolute worst, so at this point I feel pretty safe that I won't ever scare him off. Just takes the right person <3

Darth Bane · Mar 28, 2013 at 03:49 AM

i had that problem when i was depressed. that was 2 years ago. i am not taking any meds but now i am bit manic and i dont feel that problem. i am overconfident,too positive,hopeful but dont feel like i am thinking about two things at a time.

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liveforfish Member Member Since Apr 2012 Location: NH Posts: 469 12	Mar 27, 2013 at 09:38 PM #4 I know what you mean. My mind never shuts up. I only find relief while reading a good book. As far as people w/ BiPolar having long relationships, the answer is yes. I have been married for 20 years in May. We have been together 24 years. I have BiPolar.
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liveforfish Member Member Since Apr 2012 Location: NH Posts: 469 12	Mar 27, 2013 at 09:51 PM #6 Welcome!
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Bipolar mom Member Member Since Oct 2012 Location: New York Posts: 199 12 14 hugs given	Mar 27, 2013 at 10:08 PM #8 I obsess over everything as well. Right now I'm obsessed with the fact that I think my husband is having an affair, even though hes not. I can't stop thinking about it, making senerios in my head. It sucks __________________ Diagnosis: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Rapid Cycling Bipolar 2 with mixed episodes. 10mgs Prozac
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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 13 12.7k hugs given	Mar 27, 2013 at 10:25 PM #10 Do you have a T ? A good Therapist can help you work on being obsessed and the non stop running mind. Biggest thing that has helped me is Mindfulness.. Try to get outside that always helps slooooow things down in your mind. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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Melmo Grand Member Member Since Nov 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 860 12 32 hugs given	Mar 27, 2013 at 10:33 PM #11 No I don't have a therapist. I just see my family dr, he was the one who prescribed my meds. I see him every month or so to see how I am doing and adjust meds if needed. I do love being outside, I feel much more calm. Now that spring is here and warmer weather is coming, I hope to get outside more. I always feel much more depressed and anxious in the winter time.
	Reply With Quote

~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 13 12.7k hugs given	Mar 27, 2013 at 10:44 PM #12 Just some advice.. A regular Doctor just doesn't know enough about Mental illness and medications to treat most anyone. I think everyone on the board is ready for some sunshine and getting out doors __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
	Reply With Quote