[dubblemonkey]

..and how much forgetting does it take to remove a bad one?

..and what does a bad memory do to me but force me to seek a good one!

...and how the hell is this accomplished?...considering the time it takes for the well intentioned good event required to produce one...
for that to take full effect?

and the confusion is precisely itself!
cos?

when I'm depressed to death hell!...I cannot remember anything except the immediate misery..and this can go on for months...so the depression is an instantaneous and immediate memory of everything sudden and simply unavoidable!...

this experience becomes it's own living organism and accordingly!....qualifies as it's own memorable event!

...and wait!....mania has arrived!

and without this remarkable sometimes mistakenly diabolical feature of the mis-understood?...

a previously haunted and demented mind becomes only a temporary yet very effective result of the accumulated affliction of the involuntary search for suicide the ultimate self invalidation!

...good memories are not random manifestations of indistinct concerns...but more like emotionally active antidotes to the sickeningly venomous bites caused by their absence!

..the thing?...(now thats a statement in itself!)

the thing about it?...with mental illness...such as this

life seeks life...it searches for itself...just to be...not to become!

..therefore my depression relies on memories of mania to subsist!

and my mania relies on nothing...because my mania remembers most everything and still happily forgets how bad some of it ever was!

my memories haunt me and they are mine and I wish them well...

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