[dubblemonkey]

...I'm fascinated with historical stuff!

so many millions of humans have come and gone before me...

so many experiences so many loves and so many hates and so many inbetweens and so many freaking accidents and so much death....and I just cannot comprehend death...I cannot comprehend it!

before this age of convenience?...humans just fell! ... morning...mid-day and night...and furthermore during.....

did you know that the word 'lunch' was derived from what a person could hold in their hand at one time to eat?

and 'tea time'...was just a drink!....and dinner was always before the sun went down...

organisms flourish at the expense of their subordinates!

...and we humans subordinate everything!

...and yet I am so mesmerised by the reality of whats' personal to each and every one of us...

and please don't confuse me with someone capable of caring ...because I have not got the capacity!...and taking into consideration my failures and all the evidence to not only suggest but support my inadequacy at contemplating intimacy at any level...in particular the life sustaining level of love required to motivate our species I don't belong in that category!

...am I a product of my environment?...can I make up new names for my experiences...just as my ancestors and their mates did?

I never fast so why would I break it?

and supper might just be a super snack...

I even lost myself there...cleverly disguised infiltration of confusion!

so why?...are the mentally disabled allowed to live?
...it's not about compassion...more like insistance!...maybe?
it's gotta be something right...I have never been in a position to think I'm any better than anybody else!...

and yet?...the pressure is on!...right!
I must produce something...something within me...something superb...something that realistically justifies my existence...

to those that never feel like they need to.

and... "the meek will inherit the Earth"

how very wonderful!...superb!

...apparently I'm meek...but I don't agree.

and seems thats the only way to prove it...while the world insists on believing in itself...

I just get more lost...