Unintentionally mean?

When I'm angry I get mean for no reason. As I say to myself the things I'm going to say or write to others it sounds fine, but then when I see peoples reaction or read what I wrote later I notice that I have been unintentionally mean or aggressive. Do you have this? Do you have a way of overcoming this? I am not writing or saying these things in strong affect, they just come out as if I did.

yes i have this

what i do, isusually say afterwards.. i hope i didon't offend you, or something like that.

it's not much- but it's the only thing i can reaqlly think of that works for me

I've written things I later regret. Part of it is reactive and/or impulsive. Something that helps me sometimes is to use the 'preview' option (sometimes more than once) to read over what I've written. Sometimes I'll write something but then realize I'm unsure if the OP meant what I think they meant/read what I thought, so I'll get rid of my response and go back and read again what the OP said, more carefully this time. Because of this it can take me some time just to get one post out, but when I do manage to do it, it has helped.

It's good of you to recognize it, many of us probably do this, one way or another, at some point or other.

When I get really angry I cry. I used to get mean and I still can at times. Now I have learned to walk away from the situation and do something physical, a walk, weeding, whatever. Usually in about a half an hour I feel better. Then I can deal with the situation without blowing up.

Yeah, me too - I get a bad mean streak and I hate it. Cuz usually next day or two, I have a calmer opinion on the matter.

I almost sent a page long text to this real estate ex-friend person who betrayed me, and she was offering a gift to my son... I somehow stopped myself and deleted it, and just said, "that's a very kind offer, but no thank you." I figure I'll tell her what I really think at another time. Then she wrote to me that she was getting ready for her mother's memorial service the next day - I had no idea, and so glad I didn't go off on her right before she has to deal with that. I'm not going to go back to being friends with her, but I have some true morals and that would've been a horrible time to tell her what time it is.

Maybe age and experience and enough regrets tell me to hold off - hopefully - wait and see if I'm still so upset before I approach someone about something. I know about myself I'm so sensitive and should take some time to wrap my head around the thing before I make a move.

But the things , the mean things, that I tell myself -- really hard to control. I'd like to go back to mindfulness therapy for more help with that - it's expensive but worth it. And I should be more disciplined with regular daily meditation too.

Apparantly I'm quite mean. Well must be true everyone says so, even my daughter and bf
Thing is though, they know its hardly ever fueled by malicious intent, its just my way, I'm a biyotch by nature. Like how some people don't swear, and how "fk" is part of someone elses regular vocabulary...

People here, well my friends anyway, they know me well enough to know when I'm just being me, or downright mean. So I dont always censor myself, but with new members I do use buffer statements to soften my words or take the venom out of my post, because the person might be really sensitive at that time, or might read too much into what I'm saying, without knowing my personality.

That being said... I have impulsively gotten wayy to angry irl and here, but I do make a point to apologize when I realize I was way out of line. If I believe my reaction was warranted though.... well that's another story, I'm not one to hold my tongue.

Uhm.... So yes I get mean, and when I'm trying reallly hard not to sound mean, I always take a step back and try and read it from the other person's POV before hitting "submit"