[Cocosurviving]

Are episodes (mania/hypo/mixed) any worse if
you have them often (every few months). Or any
worse when you have them one or twice per yr?

I don't know, but is it possible to not have any manic episodes for almost 10 years and still be considered bipolar? its really bugging me as to whether i'm actually bipolar or just depressed with some very stressful times where I didn't sleep for a week which caused me to have delusions. sorry cocosurviving, if this shouldn't be here.
I know I'm moody every day and that seems worse than having an episode here and there.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by kelly4519

I don't know, but is it possible to not have any manic episodes for almost 10 years and still be considered bipolar? its really bugging me as to whether i'm actually bipolar or just depressed with some very stressful times where I didn't sleep for a week which caused me to have delusions. sorry cocosurviving, if this shouldn't be here.
I know I'm moody every day and that seems worse than having an episode here and there.

Actually if I were in ur shoes, I'd be askn
the same questions. I've had 3 episodes
but haven't had one in 7 months. IDK if I
should be happy or nervous.

[wildflowerchild25]

I seem to be on a rapid cycle because i'm now hypomanic again for the second time in two months. I don't know if anything is worse than something else...i suppose it all sucks pretty bad!

I know the feeling of being nervous though. It's hard to stay in the moment but try not to worry about what could happen in the future, just enjoy your stability now!

[BipolaRNurse]

I don't know if there is a difference....depends on the individual, I suppose. I'm a rapid cycler who now has very few depressions and a LOT of hypo/manic episodes. Which is OK, because I hate depression and looooooves me some hypomania! And it would be fine if it ended there, but those "highs" tend to turn on me and become more severe...and that's when the irritability and irrational anger starts.

My family HATES that. Doesn't help that I have absolutely no insight that anything's wrong and I look at them like they've sprouted three heads when I reach this point. Then I have to apologize when I come down off the mania for being such a fiend. That sucks.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I don't know if there is a difference....depends on the individual, I suppose. I'm a rapid cycler who now has very few depressions and a LOT of hypo/manic episodes. Which is OK, because I hate depression and looooooves me some hypomania! And it would be fine if it ended there, but those "highs" tend to turn on me and become more severe...and that's when the irritability and irrational anger starts.

My family HATES that. Doesn't help that I have absolutely no insight that anything's wrong and I look at them like they've sprouted three heads when I reach this point. Then I have to apologize when I come down off the mania for being such a fiend. That sucks.

I have been blessed and have not had
a manic/hypo episode in 7 months. I also
HATE depression with a passion. I have
spent 6 months dealing with it. Like you
I like having energy but I will admit I'm
so afraid of mania. The shopping and outrageous
behavior and I even go to too far with my clothes.
Once you have hypo do you move into mania?

[BipolaRNurse]

You know, that's a great question. I still don't know for sure if I have full-blown mania. I don't experience psychosis (although I do get somewhat paranoid)---the only time I've ever been psychotic was when I was on Wellbutrin. But my hypomanias will sometimes turn on me and I get outrageous---I can't sit still, I disrupt staff meetings or laugh and make smartass remarks at inappropriate times, and I have NO filter and NO insight that anything is even wrong.

I've also been known to spend large amounts of money (a thousand bucks in freaking WAL-MART??! Really??) and am hypersexual to the point where I've had to 'relieve' myself in the bathroom at work. OR, I become obnoxious and rude, I drive fast and aggressively, and I jump down peoples' throats for any reason or no reason. Plus, I think everyone's looking at me and talking about me behind my back.......so I really DON'T know if I have full-blown mania. My pdoc hasn't ruled out BP 1 yet, even though right now I'm a 2.......still trying to figure out if these episodes rise to the level of BP 1.

[liveforfish]

I'm not really sure. I think it depends on the severity of the episode and what is done during it.

If you get manic 3 times a month and just clean or paint the house. If you get manic twice a year and get arrested, go all out crazy, or hurt someone is it worse. I'm not really sure.

I've had both types. The hyper get into many projects and the out of control manic blackouts. During the blackouts I have no memory of things done, just stories from witnesses.

Thankfully I'm well maintained with medication now and have neither.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've had blackouts from hypo/manic episodes. I don't even remember a good portion of last summer because I was hypo/manic from June through mid-August and a lot of it's blacked out in my mind. Does that mean it was full-blown mania?

[Moose72]

I was told that every time you have an episode its worse than the last time.

[Cocosurviving]

[QUOTE=BipolaRNurse;3040479]You know, that's a great question. I still don't know for sure if I have full-blown mania. I don't experience psychosis (although I do get somewhat paranoid)---the only time I've ever been psychotic was when I was on Wellbutrin. But my hypomanias will sometimes turn on me and I get outrageous---I can't sit still, I disrupt staff meetings or laugh and make smartass remarks at inappropriate times, and I have NO filter and NO insight that anything is even wrong.

I've also been known to spend large amounts of money (a thousand bucks in freaking WAL-MART??! Really??) and am hypersexual to the point where I've had to 'relieve' myself in the bathroom at work. OR, I become obnoxious and rude, I drive fast and aggressively, and I jump down peoacquaintanceples' throats for any reason or no reason. Plus, I think everyone's looking at me and talking about me behind my back.......so I really DON'T know if I have full-blown mania. My pdoc hasn't ruled out BP 1 yet, even though right now I'm a 2.......still trying to figure out if these episodes rise to the level of BP 1.[/QUOTE


I can SO relate to you. I spent $150 on cleaning
supples at Target. Then $100 on hair accessories at NY & Co
I chewed at mental health providers and told
them they did not know what continuity of care
was. I'm on the board of my alma meter's almni,
during meetings I would speak out of turn.
Robert's Law of Order and Bylaws meant
nothing to me. Once while in the grocery store,
I thought people were talking abt me. I
approached them and they quickly moved
away from me. I was celibact for give years.
Lancy trigger my BP gene and hypersexual
kicked in. I fought it for three months, then
gave in. I was lucky that the person was a
long time acquaintance who is still around
for me. I've driven close to a car, cussed the
driver out and flipped them off. I have read
that people can start out bp2, then progress
to BP 1.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I've had blackouts from hypo/manic episodes. I don't even remember a good portion of last summer because I was hypo/manic from June through mid-August and a lot of it's blacked out in my mind. Does that mean it was full-blown mania?

Wow, I thought I was alone in that --my last manic episode, which was huge, I later forgot much of it; I just remember bits and pieces. I had actually begun to think that maybe it was some weird dissociation along with it, after the fact, I don't know. But I don't feel so alone now that others have experienced the same. Why do you think this is, that this happens? I'm going to ask my pdoc.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I was told that every time you have an episode its worse than the last time.

This has been the case with me, despite medication... This is why I get the awful feeling sometimes that this thing chips something away from me each time...

I really don't know. I think about half of what's happening is side effects of medications. Another 25 % may be in the diet, and the last 25% probably is the core of the illness that gets mellow as we age if we take the "coctail" of meds that works for us while we're younger.

Gaining pretty good insight into how our feeling tone is working is the best advice I
know to suggest. That way, we can curb a high or watch a low like a hawk to pull
out of it. I dislike intensely a low, like everyone does, but I no longer have them,
and I know when I am approaching a high because I tend to get over spiritually
concerned, but then I'd say that it helps to keep things in proper perspective.

That's what the secret to control is, I think: keeping things in proper perspective.

Maybe there'll be answers for us all one day soon; I hope so.

[Cocosurviving]

From my brief experience I agree.
The first episode lasted 3 month
it was horrible. My hypomania I remember
bits and pieces. Then depression started
and it has been hell of earth. Now I'm
scared to death of having another episode.
I keep posting threads about episodes in
hope I can learn as much as possible. Hoping
I can learn that one thing that will prolong
me from having a episode. --A girl can dream

[liveforfish]

A steady medication regimen will help control most of it. I've been maintained for over 12 years. I sometimes have to adjust med levels by increasing doses, but I keep in tune with my body.

I make sure my psych knows how I feel and if there are any changes in my moods that concern me.

I had to add medicine this year to my regimen and I'll keep a log of how it makes me feel. A journal is key to keeping on top of this BP MI.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by liveforfish

A steady medication regimen will help control most of it. I've been maintained for over 12 years. I sometimes have to adjust med levels by increasing doses, but I keep in tune with my body.

I make sure my psych knows how I feel and if there are any changes in my moods that concern me.

I had to add medicine this year to my regimen and I'll keep a log of how it makes me feel. A journal is key to keeping on top of this BP MI.

I need to learn how to stay in tune with my body.
I tried keeping a journal but couldn't stick to it.
I should give it another go. So you've been stable
12 yrs w/ no episodes?

[liveforfish]

Yes and no. I've had no hypo-manic or depressive episodes which put me in the hospital or kept me out of work.
I have mild times of mania and depression, but they are not severe enough to cripple me. It's more like a bad mood day or irritable day. I did have to increase my meds during high stress times in my life and depressive times. For example, when my son was having explosive psych issues I had to add Xanax for the stress. When my mother-in-law had terminal cancer, I had to increase my Paxil doses. Things like that.

If I have symptoms that bother me or increased agitation I write the feeling or mood on my calendar. I keep the calendar in my purse for easy access. This way I can explain to the doc what's been going on.
I can also see patterns and cycles.

My mom does the same with my son to track his cycles. She can actually tell, ahead of time, when he's nearing an episode. He is schizophrenic. She marks his moods on a wall calendar.

[kaliope]

this is a good thread. thank you coco. I don't think that episodes get worse over time, im manic now but it is not as bad as my last one which was my worse ever triggered by Zoloft. the one before that was in 2009 which was the worse ever since 2007 when I had my first bout of psychosis. so why isn't this current bout my worse ever? I was stable for a couple years on another med but the pdocs took me off it because of side effects. I was upset about that. now I am on Geodon and it seems to be working. but I too cycled in patterns, could tell I had a cycle coming on. I was a rapid cycler and it seemed I only had a couple normal months a year. I spent most my time going into or coming out of cycles. my t doesn't believe the whole pattern theory because I freak out every time a manic season comes up. he doesn't buy it. but here it is may and im manic.

bipolarnurse....from your descriptions, it sure sounds like you have been manic, hypomania isn't so destructive