[Ms.Beans]

Hi everyone!
Just want to have a moan.. and maybe someone had similar experiences and can suggest something.
I've been having mental health problems since I was about 13, started seeing a psychiatrist at 14, clinical depression, had my 1st suicide attempt at 16 (coma for 4 days).. then drug addictions, personality disorders,self-harm, Bipolar diagnosis, panic attacks, phobias, paranoias.. you name it.
The thing is, I get into some bad arguments with my mum. She is in a complete denial regarding mental illness. I'm from Eastern Europe, where my mum lives now. I moved to the UK 7 years ago. Thankfully!
She firmly believes that if you really really try you will stop being depressed/mental... whatever you call it. She thinks that each and everyone has an innate capacity to overcome their emotional issues. She was moaning at me when I was a kid for being all grim and weird... Now she yells at me and no explaining can change her opinion on that matter. Something like "I went mental and accidentally bought this amazingly useless nose picker for £2000 cause it seemed like it's gonna solve all my problems" or "I thought that leaving my husband, quitting my job and becoming a stripper totally makes sense" just wouldn't do it for her. She won't accept that those things exists! She thinks I willingly go and waste my saving on crap I don't need and consciously do dangerous impulsive things.. Or accusing me of not getting on with my academic work on purpose...
No matter what I say, its always "Look at me, if I was sitting and feeling sorry for myself, i'd kill myself already".. or some other variation of "look at how not depressed I am when my life is so much harder than yours".. Well, maybe it is, but how the hell is it supposed to make ME feel better??? I'm sure there are millions of people who have it much better/worse than me, and so what?
I do get psychotic.. I start running around and screaming that the world going to end due to being swallowed by a super-massive black hole in the center of our galaxy (or something along the lines).. But if I tell her that, she says that its all bollocks. It's just really hard! Those issues are a a very real and big part of my life and personality.. I wish there was a way I could make her understand.
The best thing though is she talks to dead people, and it's totally fine. That's not weird at all. Oh, and she believes she is a clairvoyant. And she is a hypochondriac too.

[vjdragonfly]

Ms. Beans, I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation. I know it is hard not to have the support of your parents when it comes to mental issues. My parents don't deny it, it is just not discussed (other then I have been told if I pray earnestly I will be healed ). I guess I have learned to just accept that they are not part of my support system. I know they love me, but they will never understand even though I tried to give them literature when I was first dx.

I just want you to know you are not alone. If anything you have us, which sometimes is the closest thing I have to understanding and support. I know it is hard, but maybe your mom can't wrap her mind around it. I have found some things are best left unsaid to most ppl.

[Ms.Beans]

thanks dragonfly!

my ma also tells me to pray ha! It's sooooo helpful! =)

I#'m really glad I found this place.. seems like a good place to be