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Default May 16, 2013 at 01:39 AM
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So I went to the pdoc today. My mom came with me because she wanted to talk to him about my future and what it will look like. He basically told her that I could really never live alone and be an independent person and that I would probably be on medicine the rest of my life. These past few years have been really rough and I’m basically just wondering if it gets any better or will it always be like this?
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Default May 16, 2013 at 06:47 AM
  #2
these past few years have been rough for me too... one thing depression taught me, not to care much about what others think... there are too many "haters" in the world!!!!!!

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Default May 16, 2013 at 08:46 AM
  #3
Pdocs have degrees in fortune telling? Wow I'm impressed

I'm curious as to why he says you can never be independent/live alone?
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Default May 16, 2013 at 09:27 AM
  #4
better I don't know. it does become different. I'm having a really hard time adjusting to normal. I have had times of homelessnes because of this illness. without ssi I have no idea where I would be today.I fully believe that you can have independence but it may look different then other peoples independent. You may need a service dog, you may need an apartment that has all utilities included, your day may consist of intensive outpatient therapy, you may only be able to handle two classes in college until you get your degree, and possibly hold down a part time job or volunteer work.I really believe that a relationship is possible however they may need to be in therapy and you may need marriage counselor to keep the relationship together. this diagnosis by no means mean that your life is over. yes it requires revision of dreams and your life May not look the way you want it you can still be happy. as long as you try to be as proactive as you can you should be okay. I'm not saying that you won't have symptoms but you can learn how this effects and ways to deal With them.

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Default May 16, 2013 at 09:42 AM
  #5
Please don't become compliant with your pdocs predictions.

and here's something my friend posted http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...ot-doomed.html

Doctors like to err on the side of doom and gloom and more doom.

Yeah, you may never have a white collar 9-5 job. But honestly... is it what you want? There are more ways to live... and often more suitable for lost and hurting souls like us.

Hence, I disagree with Miguelsmom in a way... more often than not it's not OUR dreams that needs to be revised... it's dreams of our family of what we should be... but defying that may be one step to recovery, actually.

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Default May 16, 2013 at 09:55 AM
  #6
Sounds like distorted advice. I think stable you can lead a great a life as anyone. Why not? I've lived alone, done so many different good things, before I knew I have bipolar disorder. I'm still me. I am 41, and just found out. The only changes have been medication, educating myself about BP, making sure I get enough sleep, and learning what might be triggers, joining PC to talk to like minded people. Relating. It helps

Welcome court!

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Default May 16, 2013 at 10:32 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by court View Post
So I went to the pdoc today. My mom came with me because she wanted to talk to him about my future and what it will look like. He basically told her that I could really never live alone and be an independent person and that I would probably be on medicine the rest of my life. These past few years have been really rough and I’m basically just wondering if it gets any better or will it always be like this?
I'm an independant person. I've held the same job for 5.5 years now. I am the main financial support for my family. I get all the bills paid, I run all the errands.

I'm not on medication. I'm not in therapy.

I don't live alone because I'm married and I have 3 boys, and my mother-in-law lives with us. But, I could live alone if that was not the case.

I help around the house and I'm a good mom. I am also working on writing my novels which is sometimes a challenge and sometimes easy.

The idea that if you're mentally ill you are incapable of leading a normal life is a myth. Your pdoc is a judgemental, ignorant *** for telling your mom such a thing.

The main thing is remember, you are the key to your wellness.

You can choose to walk the path of healing instead of the path of being a victim to your illness. Taking the proper steps to learn about your illness, your tiggers, your wellness strategies, and to not give up. Even if you go through hard times, as long as you don't give up, you can make it.

Your pdoc should be giving you hope instead of taking it from you. I'd fire him, personally, for his negative attitude. That's the last thing any of us need.

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Default May 16, 2013 at 11:07 AM
  #8
I'd get another psychiatrist. There is a yin/ yang in life and you've been getting the
doom and gloom picture from your psychiatrist. See one who has positive things to
direct you toward. I suppose that psychiatrists may develop their thinking based
on the many people with psychiatric problems whom they see and try to evaluate. It
must affect their judgment in some negative way for many. But that's all it is--a
negative judgment and you don't need that, for sure. And, as another has said,
they are not prophets.

Your purpose in therapy is to find the positive in life that will enable you to live
comfortably and happily. It's there for you with the right help.

Take care of yourself.
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Default May 16, 2013 at 11:11 AM
  #9
"Your pdoc should be giving you hope instead of taking it from you. I'd fire him, personally, for his negative attitude. That's the last thing any of us need."

I totally agree with Dark Heart!!! (who BTW, is a total inspiration!!!!)
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Default May 16, 2013 at 11:59 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0 View Post
Pdocs have degrees in fortune telling? Wow I'm impressed

I'm curious as to why he says you can never be independent/live alone?
me, too???
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Default May 16, 2013 at 12:00 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
better I don't know. it does become different. I'm having a really hard time adjusting to normal. I have had times of homelessnes because of this illness. without ssi I have no idea where I would be today.I fully believe that you can have independence but it may look different then other peoples independent. You may need a service dog, you may need an apartment that has all utilities included, your day may consist of intensive outpatient therapy, you may only be able to handle two classes in college until you get your degree, and possibly hold down a part time job or volunteer work.I really believe that a relationship is possible however they may need to be in therapy and you may need marriage counselor to keep the relationship together. this diagnosis by no means mean that your life is over. yes it requires revision of dreams and your life May not look the way you want it you can still be happy. as long as you try to be as proactive as you can you should be okay. I'm not saying that you won't have symptoms but you can learn how this effects and ways to deal With them.
yes, yes!!!
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Default May 16, 2013 at 12:01 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusHalley View Post
Please don't become compliant with your pdocs predictions.

and here's something my friend posted http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...ot-doomed.html

Doctors like to err on the side of doom and gloom and more doom.

Yeah, you may never have a white collar 9-5 job. But honestly... is it what you want? There are more ways to live... and often more suitable for lost and hurting souls like us.

Hence, I disagree with Miguelsmom in a way... more often than not it's not OUR dreams that needs to be revised... it's dreams of our family of what we should be... but defying that may be one step to recovery, actually.
great points, also!
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Default May 16, 2013 at 12:02 PM
  #13
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Originally Posted by notALICE View Post
Sounds like distorted advice. I think stable you can lead a great a life as anyone. Why not? I've lived alone, done so many different good things, before I knew I have bipolar disorder. I'm still me. I am 41, and just found out. The only changes have been medication, educating myself about BP, making sure I get enough sleep, and learning what might be triggers, joining PC to talk to like minded people. Relating. It helps

Welcome court!
glad to hear your story of success!!! It's inspiring! But also I know some folks don't reach as high levels as others, for various reasons!
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Default May 16, 2013 at 12:03 PM
  #14
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Originally Posted by dark_heart_x View Post
I'm an independant person. I've held the same job for 5.5 years now. I am the main financial support for my family. I get all the bills paid, I run all the errands.

I'm not on medication. I'm not in therapy.

I don't live alone because I'm married and I have 3 boys, and my mother-in-law lives with us. But, I could live alone if that was not the case.

I help around the house and I'm a good mom. I am also working on writing my novels which is sometimes a challenge and sometimes easy.

The idea that if you're mentally ill you are incapable of leading a normal life is a myth. Your pdoc is a judgemental, ignorant *** for telling your mom such a thing.

The main thing is remember, you are the key to your wellness.

You can choose to walk the path of healing instead of the path of being a victim to your illness. Taking the proper steps to learn about your illness, your tiggers, your wellness strategies, and to not give up. Even if you go through hard times, as long as you don't give up, you can make it.

Your pdoc should be giving you hope instead of taking it from you. I'd fire him, personally, for his negative attitude. That's the last thing any of us need.
Awesome! I do think it's important to normalize as best as any one individual can, and not let your illness define you, though you have to manage it!
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Default May 16, 2013 at 12:03 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by genetic View Post
I'd get another psychiatrist. There is a yin/ yang in life and you've been getting the
doom and gloom picture from your psychiatrist. See one who has positive things to
direct you toward. I suppose that psychiatrists may develop their thinking based
on the many people with psychiatric problems whom they see and try to evaluate. It
must affect their judgment in some negative way for many. But that's all it is--a
negative judgment and you don't need that, for sure. And, as another has said,
they are not prophets.

Your purpose in therapy is to find the positive in life that will enable you to live
comfortably and happily. It's there for you with the right help.

Take care of yourself.
totally agree, might make a huge difference!
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Default May 16, 2013 at 07:08 PM
  #16
Ugh, what a thing to say! From past posts I see you're quite young, I can't imagine he has a crystal ball to say where you'll be years from now. You have a long road ahead of you surely with lots of opportunities to get better, however baby the steps. I think there's a lot of hope to be had

Plus, I see that you work, and that's a huge accomplishment, it's a big step towards independent living and should be applauded!

What was the context in which this was said? Maybe he meant that you'll always need some help (meds, therapy, maybe other things), but this doesn't mean you can't live an independent, fulfilling life. Hang in there!
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