[desolate]

i am legitimately diagnosed with bipolar and it pisses me off when people i know say they think they are bipolar cause they are having a bad day or are upset about something that happened.I cant control when and why i get angry and go right from that to depressed. when i am laughing and hanging out with my friend i could be in a great mood and for no reason i just become miserable without warning. anger is a natural human response to certain situations. just because you get angry at something DOES NOT MAKE U BIPOLAR!

[zbmom]

Sometimes people don't think before they speak. Just try not to take it personally a lot of people don't understand that bipolar just isn't about moods, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain, it's a mood and a medical issue.

I understand how you feel. When I have explained Bipolar to people in the past, there were a couple who immediately said "You know, I have depressed days, and happy days. Maybe I have Bipolar!" Of course, I knew these people well enough to know that what they were speaking of were simple mood changes in reaction to external events.

zbmom is right, some people just don't think before they speak. In general, I don't think people who say these things are trying to be insensitive or insulting...they just don't understand what Bipolar really is. The term "Bipolar" has become so mainstream, and lots of people tend to equate Bipolar with simple mood swings. It's not that simple though. We know what Bipolar is because we've lived it, and we've researched it. Many people only know what Bipolar is based on how the media portrays it, and sometimes it's portrayed inaccurately.

People in general could benefit from basic education on Bipolar Disorder and other mental illnesses, so they can truly understand what they are and understand that mood swings don't necessarily mean Bipolar. It could just be a bad day.

[SunAngel]

My sister does that all the time. She always says that everyone has a little bipolar in them.

It really pisses me off too, but now she has done a little research on it and is more understanding. I don't go to her for advice anymore because she always says that everyone gets depressed, and looked how much you are blessed with an awesome husband, a roof over my head and so on and so forth.

She just doesn't get that people with BP disorder gets depressions that are really serious and counting your blessings just doesn't help when you are so down.

When someone in your life is triggering you like this, it means they are toxic to you, and maybe you should talk to them or end all contact with them if you are able. Being around people like this just isn't good for you.

[mgran]

I was initially with psychotic depression, then bipolar, finally schizoaffective. I hate it when people laugh around and say, "oh, he's psycho" or "she's schizo". It's just not true!

People don't understand what these mental illnesses are like unless they've direct experience, either as a sufferer, or because a family member has it. People think depression is feeling blue, bipolar is simply mood swings, and schizophrenia et al are someone acting a bit erratically. Of course bipolar and schizo diseases are also used as a term of abuse, as is psychotic.

It's a huge pity that the world is so ill educated.

[wing]

This is a use of the word thanks to all the attention the media has given to make BP seem like an excuse for anything. It ticks me off, too, but I just consider it a trigger and handle it like any other trigger...with coping skills.

[Phoenix_1]

Three weeks ago my friend was sad about something her daughter did and said to me on the phone: "Oh, I'm so depressed". So I told her I was at the hospital every day for 7 weeks being treated for depression by a doctor and RPN's. She changed her tune. Now she's only "upset".

People don't have a clue how they sound or what they say. The use psych terms out of context and it's because they don't have a clue what those terms actually mean. Some people even think they're funny when they use them - stay well clear of them. They have a psych problem themselves and it's not bipolar.

And someone rationalizing your situation - stay well clear of them too. I went to a woman's shelter in 1981 because my husband was extremely emotionally abusive and I couldn't take it any more - I was a wreck. And they told me, he doesn't hit me, so I should be ok. Not true. Rationalization doesn't help, it hurts.

My boyfriend hates that some of my meds are called antipsychotics, whereas this doesn't bother me because it's a proper use of the word psychotic. Where he sees the word psychotic as more on the slang term. Haha I think he's backwards, but because I truly understand what psychotic means, it's a non threatening word to me. It does bother me if I hear one of my kids say "so and so is psycho" and do correct their language.

I'm a strong believer that words have power and our vocabulary can create change. I also get annoyed at people's lack of knowledge regarding MI. Since when does bipolar automatically equate to hostile, violent or aggressive ? I am non of these, people with bipolar or other MI's also have a personality behind them too, people forget that. Maybe these interactions with ill informed people are really just learning opportunities for them and me.

[hanners]

Originally Posted by desolate

i am legitimately diagnosed with bipolar and it pisses me off when people i know say they think they are bipolar cause they are having a bad day or are upset about something that happened.I cant control when and why i get angry and go right from that to depressed. when i am laughing and hanging out with my friend i could be in a great mood and for no reason i just become miserable without warning. anger is a natural human response to certain situations. just because you get angry at something DOES NOT MAKE U BIPOLAR!

About 4-5 months ago, you might have taken me for one of those people who would piss you off... but sure enough I was diagnosed with bipolar on monday. And the more and more I learn about it and understand it, the more this diagnosis is making sense to me.

[dragonfly2]

I am wary about who I use the term "antipsychotic" with. I prefer "neuroleptic". It conveys the much more physical illness tone of the medication, sort of like "neurological" and "epileptic" put together. And just as accurate.

I hate it when the media or people in general use the term "bipolar" in a non-mood context. Like "the weather is so bipolar", meaning having extremes. One time I was reading a magazine and there was an article about Boston where the author used the word "bipolar". He talked about the changing energy shifts of the city depending on the weather. Very busy and "manic" in the summer and, get this, "introspective" as the analogy for the winter darkness. I wish depressions were just "introspective". Obviously the author had no clue what he was talking about. I almost wrote a letter to the editor. I still might.

[desolate]

this is something i can relate to i hate when people use context they have no idea about to compare bipolar to the weather obviously the weather changes ITS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT those people will never understand what its like to truly go thru the ringer. in so much media nowadays i see many triggers that most people would never think twice about its a shame when the world is more concerned about the next big sports game or the next model or who can dance and sing rather then what is important

[livelaughlove17]

This bothers me as well. It usually comes right after I tell someone that I am bipolar. People say "Oh I could never tell that you are" or "I'm probably bipolar too".
1. you don't know what is going on in my head as I try to hide what's going on in my mind at times. The people closest to me are the people who see what I am *really* like at times.
2. I know that you are trying to relate to me by saying "I'm probably bipolar too" but it's different. It's an illness, not just mood swings, getting angry at times, or having a bad day.

It can definitely be irritating. Especially the one day, my boss came up to me out of nowhere and says, "I know you're bipolar, but your's isn't that bad... I think so and so is bipolar. You're pretty stable.". (her ex was diagnosed with bipolar so she does know about the illness, however, each person is different and again, she's someone who is not with me outside of work. When she made the "stable" comment, I was actually doing a lot of cycling.)

I try to just brush off people's comments because I feel that those who make comments like that don't always know what they're talking about. I think if people were more educated about the disorder then they wouldn't be so quick to say that they self-diagnose. I saw that one of you said you were recently diagnosed, and this is in no way meant to offend. Welcome to the club, so to speak.

Welcome to the forums, desolate!

This is a pet peeve of mine for sure too. I've only told a few people, and the one that really got to me was, "Oh, so what...Everybody's bipolar!" Um...no. Most definitely not. I've since thought of how I wish I'd responded, but was too taken aback at the time. Thing is, he's a super nice guy, and it just hurt to have my pain so utterly invalidated by someone I braved up to tell. Another one declared that I "couldn't" be bipolar because he'd never "seen" me suicidal. One barely knows where to begin with that one...

I know that people speak from ignorance, but still...

And the way psychiatric terms are thrown around as casual ignorant vocabulary...Argh!

[SmilingMask]

I too have dealt with ignorant people to this illness. Very few people know about me but of those that do- a friend that says everyone is bipolar and the strong ones don't need medication and my mother (of all people) who asks me lots of questions (which I appreciate) and I know she researches but when I answer her questions, she says things like "oh that's no different than anyone else who is having a bad day". ARRRGGGHHH!!!

I found an interesting statement on a website "bipolarcaregivers.com" and I can't quote it exactly but basically this is how I described my illness to my husband when he was questioning my illness:
People with bipolar can't control their moods. When I am "down" I can go to work and come home and he can ask me to list 5 good things that happened to me today and I will say nothing and want to just go to bed; BUT he could call my boss and ask her the same question and she could say "oh my, she had a great day; I gave her a raise and praised her for being such a great employee". On the flip side, when I am "up", I could lose my job and come home and it would be like "the sky is blue". That analogy made sense to him. This website stated that most people can do things to help their "bad days" or rejoice in their good days. We cannot.....ice cream does not cheer us up; drinks after work does not release a rough day at work and when we are up, we don't usually rejoice in anything except how fabulous we are!

I too hate that society has put such a stigma on us and others with mental illness. Just because we look ok on the outside then it's something that we just need to deal with. Ugh!!!

Hang in there, from all these posts you should see that we are all plagued this this issue and you are not alone in your frustration!

[mgran]

Oh, so if I was "strong" I wouldn't need medication? Obviously I'm a weak and petty individual...

These guys should read Susan Sontag's "on sickness" (more about physical than mental) for an analyses of the self congratulatory wishy washy back patting that this kind of thinking really reveals.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

[siljie]

Ughh!! It's very irritating, and I don't even have bipolar! Kids at my school are always making comments, but they have no idea what they're really even saying. If a teacher is having a bad day and is being pissy, they'll say things like "Mrs. ___ is such a bipolar!" And if a friend snaps at another "stop being so bipolar!" They're using it like it's just an adjective.

I had one very attention-seeking friend who pretended to have bipolar when she had NO idea what it really was. She was listening to the song "Lithium" by Evanescence and she asked my what it meant, and I told her it was a medication to treat bipolar disorder.. A couple days later she was going around talking about how she was out of her "lithium", etc. I. Was. Pissed. :P

I just hate hate hate when people assume things and say them without even thinking about how it could hurt or affect another person. Ughh!!! Seriously, most the people in my grade have maturity levels of 10 year olds...

[SingDanceRunLife]

One of my best friends said she thinks someone is bipolar because sometimes he's really nice and sometimes he's a super jerk...and I'm just like, that's personality, not bipolar!

[dragonfly2]

Personally, I think we should go back to calling the illness "manic depression". At least that's a little more of an accurate description and you don't typically hear people calling nonsense like the weather "manic depressive". And people who say we're not "strong enough" if we need meds, or get sick...grrrrr....not that I wish ill upon people, but sometimes it would be nice if they were somehow sick and could hear things like, "you're not trying hard enough to make your own insulin" or "what do you mean you can't walk on your broken leg? Get off your butt and pull yourself together!".... yeah.....

[mgran]

siljie, what an appalling idiot your "friend" is... Imagine deliberatly lying about suffering from bipolar, and pretending you were on lithium! You're not still friends with this appalling booby are you?

dragonfly... I never thought of it, but you're right, the term "manic depressive" doesn't seem to lend itself to media idiocy so much as bipolar. Perhaps we should go back to it. Also, I must admit that I cackled with evil laughter at the thought of breaking people's legs, and saying, "come on, you're not trying... of course you can walk..." I am of course evil. Thanks for tempting my inner evil!

(Not of course that I'm planning on killing anyone, just that I appreciate the joke.)

[dragonfly2]

Originally Posted by mgran

Thanks for tempting my inner evil!

You're very welcome, my dear...

[FuriousGeorge]

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

Personally, I think we should go back to calling the illness "manic depression". At least that's a little more of an accurate description and you don't typically hear people calling nonsense like the weather "manic depressive". And people who say we're not "strong enough" if we need meds, or get sick...grrrrr....not that I wish ill upon people, but sometimes it would be nice if they were somehow sick and could hear things like, "you're not trying hard enough to make your own insulin" or "what do you mean you can't walk on your broken leg? Get off your butt and pull yourself together!".... yeah.....

I totally agree with you.

[livelaughlove17]

Originally Posted by siljie

Ughh!! It's very irritating, and I don't even have bipolar! Kids at my school are always making comments, but they have no idea what they're really even saying. If a teacher is having a bad day and is being pissy, they'll say things like "Mrs. ___ is such a bipolar!" And if a friend snaps at another "stop being so bipolar!" They're using it like it's just an adjective.

I had one very attention-seeking friend who pretended to have bipolar when she had NO idea what it really was. She was listening to the song "Lithium" by Evanescence and she asked my what it meant, and I told her it was a medication to treat bipolar disorder.. A couple days later she was going around talking about how she was out of her "lithium", etc. I. Was. Pissed. :P

I just hate hate hate when people assume things and say them without even thinking about how it could hurt or affect another person. Ughh!!! Seriously, most the people in my grade have maturity levels of 10 year olds...

That would have really pissed me off! I'm not judging-- we all have friends for different reasons, myself included... but she doesn't seem like a good person to have around. :-/

[siljie]

She is sooo not my friend anymore, I got too fed up with her! Thank god, lol.

[livelaughlove17]

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

Personally, I think we should go back to calling the illness "manic depression". At least that's a little more of an accurate description and you don't typically hear people calling nonsense like the weather "manic depressive". And people who say we're not "strong enough" if we need meds, or get sick...grrrrr....not that I wish ill upon people, but sometimes it would be nice if they were somehow sick and could hear things like, "you're not trying hard enough to make your own insulin" or "what do you mean you can't walk on your broken leg? Get off your butt and pull yourself together!".... yeah.....

This made me smile/laugh! You might really be on to something here!

[livelaughlove17]

So I find it funny (and I mean this in a non-comical haha kind of way) that last night I found this thread/posted and today while I am waiting tables, I brought a table drinks and then asked them if they wanted appetizers. The 10 year old at the table was the only one who wanted something. When his dad said he didn't want it, the boy said, "you're bipolar. You never know what you want?" Really?! Did this just happen? The family then continued to make jokes by calling each other bipolar and whatnot.
This really bothered me. Even if the dad was truly bipolar (you never know, so I won't assume), I couldn't believe that the term was thrown around so loosely and joked about and by a 10 and 13 year old! And the parents didn't correct them or anything. In my head I was thinking, "Shut up or I'll show you what bipolar really is!"
I just couldn't believe it and thought it was funny they were sticking there feet in their mouths and didn't even know it.