[lil_better_everyday]

I thought I could find a post on this using the search function. My search-fu is probably just weak. Anyway...

I have always been an up front person. Not one to beat around the bush. I was always up front about my addiction (though I my blunt honesty was often taken as jest), since sobering up and accepting diagnoses I have been doing the same about my PTSD and BPII, and met with very mixed reaction.

I'm starting to think I might wanna hold back on who all I tell what. Sooo...

I am curious as to how up front you are to loved ones, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances?

[A Red Panda]

I'm upfront about what's going on with me emotionally... only with friends that I have known for a while and trust to some extent. Even then - I never really talk about whatever the current issue is.

I can talk about my past suicide attempts with almost anyone, but it depends on the environment. Currently I live in a small-town setting, so I'm a lot less open about things because I'd rather not have rumours go around about me.

Coworkers, family, etc, don't really know anything at all that goes on with me.

[pink&grey]

Not at all. Only my parents know because I need their help so badly.

[faerie_moon_x]

I made the mistake of disclosing to my work when I was first diagnosed, hoping it would help me. That was a big mistake.

Very few people know my diagnosis. My husband, my mother-in-law are the only other people who know outside of work. I've never bothered to tell my family, and I don't tell just anyone. Unfortunately, bipolar has a huge stigma on it and people don't understand it at this time. So, I find it is best to only tell people on a need-to-know basis.

[lil_better_everyday]

Thanks for the responses!

I think I will start being a little more judicious with just how broken my brain is.

[manymiles]

It's on a need to know basis.

I'm open to the people I am around the most, including some of my co-workers. You have to use your discretion though; some people can't handle the information very intelligently. I haven't had much negative feedback from the people I have shared with, and work has been extremely supportive, but I do limit the information to only those people that I feel will manage the information properly. I have found more people to be able to do this than not, which has been a pleasant surprise.

[wellenough]

I often answer "I'm OK" when I'm not.
Friends and people I do outdoor recreation with.......the same, but then, I am helped, immensely by merely being active out-of-doors.
Family.......I may tell some that "I have been a bit depressed", like I did last month when my brother and I visited, I was amazed that he did not know that I had been depressed off and on most of my life, to the point of no longer having a career. Yet, why am I surprised that he doesn't know if I do not say something? But then, I know that my being out of work, is due to mood and personality, but do not let many others know.
I have told my supervisor at my part-time work, mainly due to breaking down and crying during tense times. Now I joke when he looks like he is going to give me input on work "wait, I haven't taken my --- pill yet!" since the anxiety pills have helped curb my crying on the job (yippee).
So, I do not feel it is in my best interest to:
-open up about personal things at work;
-open up to acquaintances? Try not to except to .....test the waters.....see someone's response by opening up a LITTLE.....see if it comes back to me, or instance;
-open up to family? - --usually not, I used to be more open to mom, but she is gone now, I get teary when I think of my father being gone, which will happen w/i next decade I suppose, so I realize that I need several other people, some younger and in better health than I, to open up to;
I do not feel that masking my more open response is necessarily the best thing to do, but I feel that in general, the majority of people I do not think of as a GREAT friend need to be told that I am NOT ok; it puts that person on the HOT seat I think. So, I believe that, for me, I need to foster some close relationships where I can comfortably say things that matter, but at an appropriate time, where possible. I think that I can (or should?) use an acquaintance's or co-workers query "How's it going" or what-not to try to answer in as positive of a note as possible, to be in the present moment (hey, I am not in bed unable to get up and going) and to make the best of it.

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

I'm open to the people I am around the most, including some of my co-workers. You have to use your discretion though; some people can't handle the information very intelligently. I haven't had much negative feedback from the people I have shared with, and work has been extremely supportive, but I do limit the information to only those people that I feel will manage the information properly. I have found more people to be able to do this than not, which has been a pleasant surprise.

_________________________________________
Very admirable reply. I think that's the wisest choice to follow, and that's
what any stigma is about: "some people can't handle the information very
intelligently".

[BipolaRNurse]

I had to disclose at work thanks to a manic episode last summer, and things were never quite the same after that. In fact, I was fired earlier this month because of severe anxiety and mania that forced me to take medical leave, and when I returned I made it through the first six hours and promptly fell apart again. Three days later I was informed that my services were no longer required.

The worst part of it was being told I was "unstable and unpredictable". The stress of that job is a big reason why I got that way, and that statement was a sucker punch. And that is why I will never, EVER disclose my illness to another employer unless I have a major mood episode, and even then I'll figure out some other way to explain it. It's sad that in this supposedly enlightened age, we have to deny something that is part of ourselves in order to stay employed and relevant, but it is what it is, and if I ever get the opportunity to work again, I'll do everything in my power to avoid being vulnerable to this sort of treatment.

[RollingWheel]

I have thought about disclosing my illness but I just don't think that it is the right thing to do for me. I am concerned about the stigma and the chance that I will be looked upon as inferior and will not be given anymore interesting projects to work on.

[manicminer]

I let em all know: family, friends, employer, co-workers. Things are just easier that way.

Doesn't leave people searching for answers to my odd behavior and I'm able to be myself, instead of trying to hide something or act like a "normal" person

[ultramar]

I've told only a couple of people. I don't want people labeling me, or being on the lookout for signs of it, I don't want to be defined this way (and some people will, not their fault, really), I want to be seen as all of things I am, to me it's a *part* of me, but since many others don't get it, it may take too much of a center stage for them.

That said, I'm not married (long ago divorced before dx), but if I were, I suspect I would share this with my husband, I can't imagine being in such a relationship without this being shared. But certainly not co-workers, acquaintances, most family members, etc.

I know disclosing does not = using it as an excuse, but I also do not want the slightest inkling of that from others.

I think I can be honest and authentic with others, without disclosing the diagnosis.

I know others have shared their diagnosis probably more widely than I have and it's worked out well for them and that's all good, this is just how it works for me.

[redbandit]

I've only told my closest friends, family members and of course my husband. My family understands, because there is a LOT of mental illness in my family. I dont like telling people, because like others said, people just dont understand.

I've been up front about it all my life. And frankly, the people who don't respond to my honesty in a manner I can appreciate are not worth my time, unless they are in some crisis and I can help them. I value my self too much to waste it on just anyone, and I don't think that is a grandiose thing to say. I don't tell it to everyone I meet, of course. I haven't told my bosses, except once as a reason for terminating the contract. While I don't like to waste my time on people who can't appreciate me as I am, I also don't want to waste my opportunities in trying to find out who can and who can not.

People do not generally get uncomfortable by me being so honest. Usually I'll say it as background for something else I'm about to say, or in a joke of some sort, i.e. in a very casual way.

[wburton]

Obviously you don't run around telling everyone. It's no one else's business. And presumptuous to assume they even care.

For me, "telling" is all about setting expectations realistically. Family and friends (and employers) who are counting on you deserve to know that sometimes you might not be able to come through.

But some people are so obviously idiots, telling them would be wasted breath. Seems to me we do have to account for that reality, as a practical matter.

In the end though, we're far more interesting conversation than that dolt of a cousin or that pasty nerd 3 cubicles down.

___
Sent from my phone. Please excuse typos.