[comicgeek007]

I thought I had accepted potentially being bipolar, but I guess I haven't. My temp T hasn't been as hesitant to try to diagnose bipolar as everyone else has. On one hand I'm grateful he's calling it as he sees it, but on the other hand I'm not sure how I feel about getting a diagnosis. That and a different diagnosis for my ED.

So, bipolar 1 and purging type anorexia. Now what?

[A Red Panda]

Now you go on as normal trying to make progress

I'm glad your new T is calling it as they see it - you've seemed to have trouble seeing things consistently one way for a while. (Did that just come out really bluntly? I can't tell and it's the only way I can explain it - I'm really trying not to be blunt or harsh or insensitive!). If your new T is straightforward with you it might get easier to accept, and to maybe start seeing what he sees.

Regardless of your diagnosis, you're still you. Always remember that, and that you are worth the work and effort (and that you are worth putting up with all the down times so that you can get to the better times!)

[bluewave7]

I'm not my diagnosis. I don't say, "I AM bipolar." I say, " I HAVE bipolar. Big difference. I am not my illness, though it defines much of what I do, I am much more than that.

It took me 8 years and 10 different pdocs, lots of going off meds only to get sick and give in to the meds again. All of this until one day, I just accepted it. I think acceptance of anything I perceive to be negative is difficult. Acceptance does not mean I have to like it, but just to accept that it is real.

Also there is still a huge stigma concerning mental illness. Especially in the south! But the more advocates and education we can offer, the less the stigma.

Once I let go and accepted things, I felt a peaceful feeling and I felt light as a spring breeze.

[winter4me]

Now you have a place to start/move on from, a way to talk about what is going on. Your t. sounds like a good one!

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by winter4me

Now you have a place to start/move on from, a way to talk about what is going on. Your t. sounds like a good one!

I guess so. And he is, even though maryland law sucks so he has to tell my dad more than i'd like him to.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by bluewave7

I'm not my diagnosis. I don't say, "I AM bipolar." I say, " I HAVE bipolar. Big difference. I am not my illness, though it defines much of what I do, I am much more than that.

It took me 8 years and 10 different pdocs, lots of going off meds only to get sick and give in to the meds again. All of this until one day, I just accepted it. I think acceptance of anything I perceive to be negative is difficult. Acceptance does not mean I have to like it, but just to accept that it is real.

Also there is still a huge stigma concerning mental illness. Especially in the south! But the more advocates and education we can offer, the less the stigma.

Once I let go and accepted things, I felt a peaceful feeling and I felt light as a spring breeze.

I'm in a coed fraternity and most of the people in it have one mental illness or another. I'm trying to get the fraternity to approve a mental illness awareness art gallery.

[EBD8]

Why was it hard for me? Cause every time I saw a new T or doc, they weren't sure the other one was right. So how could I not be confused? Right, they were the one's that were supposed to know. With mental illness I'm not sure who is confused the most, Me or the Doc...Go figure, all I know I stay confused a lot and they don't seem to able to help with that...

I don't know that it's a matter of acceptance. I think it's like a recognition of
an inconvenience. It's inconvenient to take medications, to have to need
therapy, to deal with side effects of medications, with ignorance (or stigma--which you shouldn't do; just forget about it and toss it off as a result of ignorance, negativity), etc.

Someone else has said it quite well. The illness is not you; it's something you could
have developed as a result of trauma, inherited, or hormone changes. It certainly should
never define who you are. If you are able to see it, you are a child of God, as we
all are.

You are neglecting one of the most significant characteristics of bipolar illness---its talent
for those who have it. Ours is not an illness of lack of intelligence, you know, it's a mood
disorder and insight into that is a great help in managing it. Knowledge about how to
control that places you in far better position than the general public about caring for yourself.

Learning to love yourself is important, too, especially in strengthening your relationship
to yourself and others.

I consider the knowledge of having such an inconvenience like moving from darkness into sunlight.

[faerie_moon_x]

Being diagnosed with anything is hard. It doesn't matter what it is. It's hard to find out you have something going on. Bipolar, diabetes, cancer, depression, ADD, it doesn't matter if it's physical or mental. People have trouble accepting things all the time. So, you sound normal to me.

I was able to accept it when I got diagnosed in the fact that I finally felt someone took the timeto pay attention to the fact that something was wrong. I'd had a really hard time coping and struggling with things since childhood, but no one ever to help me. But, it was harder to accept the bipolar idea because I don't fit the "DSM IV" model with the super spending/gambling/promiscuity. And my euphoria was already long gone in replace of the dysphoric mania. Learning about dysphoria was huge for me because it isn't talked about as much as the euphoria.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by comicgeek007

I thought I had accepted potentially being bipolar, but I guess I haven't. My temp T hasn't been as hesitant to try to diagnose bipolar as everyone else has. On one hand I'm grateful he's calling it as he sees it, but on the other hand I'm not sure how I feel about getting a diagnosis. That and a different diagnosis for my ED.

So, bipolar 1 and purging type anorexia. Now what?

Did temp T make the diagnosis based on that written test he gave you?

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by ultramar

Did temp T make the diagnosis based on that written test he gave you?

he looked through previous doctors' notes, my journal, and asked me a bunch of questions and I answered them. He said I fit 7.5/8 manic criteria for my previous manic episode and I also fit the criteria for the depressed episodes.

Originally Posted by bluewave7

I'm not my diagnosis. I don't say, "I AM bipolar." I say, " I HAVE bipolar. Big difference. I am not my illness, though it defines much of what I do, I am much more than that.

It took me 8 years and 10 different pdocs, lots of going off meds only to get sick and give in to the meds again. All of this until one day, I just accepted it. I think acceptance of anything I perceive to be negative is difficult. Acceptance does not mean I have to like it, but just to accept that it is real.

Also there is still a huge stigma concerning mental illness. Especially in the south! But the more advocates and education we can offer, the less the stigma.

Once I let go and accepted things, I felt a peaceful feeling and I felt light as a spring breeze.

I AM bipolar. It's as much a part of me as my personality (although other people seem to have a much more personal relationship with that construct than I do), and if I'm supposed to say "I am an introvert" then I'm sure as hell going to say "I am bipolar". Just my opinion. I think it's fine to identify with a diagnosis like this. I wouldn't say "I am cancerous", however, if that were the case. I know you're trying to be helpful, and what you said can be helpful, I'm not arguing that, so please don't take this the wrong way. But I hope it's as acceptable to say "I am bipolar" as it is to say "I have bipolar". And truthfully, I think looking at it this way has helped me, just as I understand that other people might be better off not identifying that much with their diagnosis. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my struggles, and the way I deal with them, are an important part of who I am. Saying "I have bipolar" makes it seem like something other than who I am, when everything about it is me. It's an illness too, but I see no problem with integrating an illness into my self. I don't think it will harm me.

[BipolaRNurse]

I use the two interchangeably. When first diagnosed, I tried to keep the illness at arm's length......like I was over here, and it was over there, about six feet away. It took awhile, but I finally realized that it's part of me, just like brunette hair and a love of salty food, and all I can do is live with it (and work at managing it).

[venusss]

I never got what the fuss with I am/I have is. Apparently I am is somewhat grammatically incorrect, but from the discussions I feel most people don't worry about that, rather about being politically incorrect.

I use the "I am" form. It's really part of me, like it or not.

What helped me to accept was ditching the illness model. I don't have illness. I am troubled.